00;00;15;21 - 00;00;35;14
Thais
Get your brain really programed into the habit of like you feel a feeling that's not good. And instead of, again, like looking at your emotions, looking to react, to looking at your emotions is something that are giving you feedback, like hunger pains, like, oh my gosh, there's an internal problem here. And going inwards in response to your emotions, you want to condition this.

00;00;35;15 - 00;00;55;19
Thais
You want to repeatedly practice this until it becomes a program, until that's fired and wired enough that it's happening naturally. So, for example, if I get triggered by something in my life, if something happens to me or somebody does something without trying to do it, my brain program, my own brain at this point to go inward and it's like, Whoa, what am I taking with me?

00;00;55;19 - 00;01;12;10
Thais
Or what's going on inside of me? What need is unmet or what belief pattern in my writing. And right away it goes inward and this will be like if I'm driving or if I'm doing other things, if I'm speaking on the phone and while I'm in conversation real time, I will feel my feelings and go inward. And do you want to condition that?

00;01;12;10 - 00;01;33;17
Thais
It's excruciatingly important for the fearful void because your emotions are your emotions. All of our emotions, they're ours. They're based on our belief patterns, our unmet needs, and they're ours to take care of and resolve. And and we can still have needs from other people. We can still be very interdependent beings. But when we are emotionally triggered and charge, our needs don't come out nicely.

00;01;33;17 - 00;01;53;01
Thais
Our needs are like to yell at somebody. We think because we're triggered. We haven't worked through the story first, but when we undo the story, our needs are to tell somebody that we want to set a boundary with how they spoke to us and it didn't feel good to connect over it and to work through it. So we want to keep making sure, okay, you have this emotional response.

00;01;53;03 - 00;02;10;28
Thais
What was I just thinking or believing? Undo that and then find your need the transformation method. You can do this like in your evenings when you're just emotionally processing on a regular basis to practice wiring that in more through the repetition with emotion component. Or you can practice just trying to set the intention to do this in real time.

00;02;11;01 - 00;02;39;29
Thais
Okay, what am I feeling? Am I telling myself or what have I just been thinking? And are these things true and questioning and undoing them? And again, by doing this, you're re patterning any wounds that are coming up through repetition plus emotion as well. It's not just like getting back in your body and changing your relationship to your emotions, but it also changes core beliefs because if you're undoing them repeatedly over time, the subconscious program through repetition puts emotion and you're producing a better desired outcome that serves the highest expression of yourself.

00;02;40;06 - 00;02;57;26
Thais
But every time you feel angry, okay, I want you as well to ask yourself, you can do this. Even now. It doesn't have to be like when you're feeling angry. Specifically, just ask yourself what means is anger meaning for you? With anger for your point is like a strong feedback mechanism, not just number one. It will be about your stories.

00;02;57;26 - 00;03;25;03
Thais
We know this through and through. That's a given at this point. This person doesn't care about me. Oh, this person's taking advantage me, these sorts of things. But I want you to ask yourself what needs this anger meaning? And then you want to actively meet these needs in your life repetitively. So remember, we talked about and part of I think it was two weeks ago, of course, we were saying, you know, we have these the end of the equation.

00;03;25;06 - 00;03;55;29
Thais
We have these actions or behaviors that will essentially be this like coping mechanism or subconscious strategy to get specific needs met. We talked about how food might be like emotional connection or comfort or security or escape or things like that. Anger for feel avoidance tends to be very much related to enmeshment. So a lot of fearful avoidance tend to have a lot of things like anger, the need for boundaries.

00;03;55;29 - 00;04;25;16
Thais
Anger meets the need to be seen and heard. We get loud and all these different things. So again, you want to make sure that I'm just looking at these comments. I want to make sure that you are actively having habits instilled in your life that are a reflection of what the subconscious strategy for anger would mean. So we get if it's like I used to get angry and yell, and then I realized, okay, yelling was the strategy to be heard.

00;04;25;24 - 00;04;50;07
Thais
Okay, what are some active habits and practices I can instill in my life now so that I don't have to rely on anger as a strategy to get hurt. I can start expressing myself more. I'm speaking out more to the different people around me, you know? And so set those little incremental goals and strategies like how will I do this with my strategy to get this need met and start exposing yourself and practicing these things.

00;04;50;07 - 00;05;07;19
Thais
So we don't want to have to rely on anger to get those needs met. And so what happens is if you start speaking up and you start setting boundaries and you start expressing yourself and and asking for somebody to validate your feelings that you care about, hey, can you understand why I would feel like this? I'm not concerned.

00;05;07;20 - 00;05;24;12
Thais
Right or wrong. I just want you to understand why my I felt hurt in this situation when we start communicating this way and again, like we're going to cover anger, detachment, and we're going to cover conflict communication. So you have these tools like very deeply there and we're going to practice and go through all this stuff in the next couple of weeks.

00;05;24;14 - 00;06;08;12
Thais
But for of communication explicitly. But the more you're communicating, your subconscious mind will no longer need anger, need these frustrations, need these emotional helpers as a strategy to get those needs met. If you're actively meeting them ahead of time. So you're basically seeing the negative patterns of behavior you don't like in your attachment style, recognizing why you're getting these things met through this form, like what is leading you to to this point and what needs are being met through this action or behavior, and then making sure that you're creating active conscious habits and strategies to get those needs met so you don't have to rely on something like anger or any kind of emotional helpers

00;06;08;19 - 00;06;29;25
Thais
in order to get those needs met themselves. And again, because these are things that we're robbed from us essentially in childhood, we didn't get the chance. And not because anybody's bad, because just unconsciousness has been passed along generations right. You know, when when we don't we don't know a lot like nobody's taught us. Hey, as a child, this is what the emotion of fear feels like.

00;06;29;25 - 00;06;55;27
Thais
This is where you feel it in your body. You should stay connected to your body. This is what you should do when you feel fear. You know, these are your needs, when you feel fear. So we just have to go back a little bit. We have to practice and play with it a little bit and spend a lot of time just familiarizing ourselves like these are the emotions I feel the most, or I feel impatient or I feel trapped, or I start familiarizing yourself, get comfortable in, normalize the sensations that are in connection to your emotions.

00;06;55;27 - 00;07;22;12
Thais
You know, when I feel trapped, I feel trapped in my chest and shoulders and a little bit of a construction in my stomach. If I feel anxious that tend to experience that a little bit in my upper chest and stomach too, if I feel afraid. Same sort of places. I'm just picking, you know, anger. I feel anger, shoulders, arms, upper chest and that we want to just be really clear on these things.

00;07;22;14 - 00;07;42;20
Thais
The more we are in our bodies, the more we're familiar with these things. Once we've actually gotten ourselves repeatedly familiar with our emotions and what they feel like and where we feel them, it's now easy to catch them in real time. It's hard to catch them in real time. It's hard to notice their story. It's hard to notice their triggers and moments when we're dissociated from our body.

00;07;42;23 - 00;07;59;23
Thais
So that's why this is so important. And things like meditation can be really helpful for this. I highly recommend that as well. I mean, sometimes you feel so many things at once it's hard to identify a single or like just a single emotion. And a really powerful thing to do is like, notice it. Sometimes it'll be multiple emotions.

00;07;59;23 - 00;08;17;05
Thais
Sometimes you'll feel trapped, helpless, powerless, and then you'll feel hurt, angry, afraid. So it may be more than one, but again, there's tremendous value. That's why I'm like, I'll do the feeling and needs work. There's so much value in just playing with it. Familiarize yourself with everybody will be different. Like I can't give you like the answers for that.

00;08;17;07 - 00;08;37;09
Thais
So because you'll be different. We all have different emotional patterns. Some of them are quite similar, but differences. So it's up to you to connect to that. Familiarize yourself with that, do it repeatedly. And again, you're getting back in your body and catching up in real time. Just like you mentioned this question blessing expressing needs feel so needy, expressing need, feel vulnerable, not need.

00;08;37;11 - 00;09;02;05
Thais
The feeling that you're running from the soul. My ability not needing this and there would have been some kind of negative associations that in childhood. So exposure responds. Best place for Reprograming the body's exposure response takes small, tiny little things like little breadcrumbs of things to express. And when you do it and you've done it and you even empowered yourself, build in positive emotional associations of how good that about how you're empowering yourself, how you're being courageous.

00;09;02;07 - 00;09;21;03
Thais
It is not needy to express your needs. It is literally of the utmost importance, and it's courageous in a world that teaches us to suppress how we feel and suppress our emotions and not express our needs. It takes courage and strength to actually show up for ourselves in these relationships. To thank you so much for watching again, please share.

00;09;21;03 - 00;09;31;08
Thais
Subscribe to this channel if you receive a lot of value and please feel free to check anything out at W WW dot Personal Development School dot com. Thank you so much.