00;00;05;06 - 00;00;26;21
Thais
Hi, my name is Thais Gibson, and I'm the owner and founder of the Personal Development School. This is your daily breakthrough video. And in this video, I'm going to give you some really effective tools to not only understand anxiety a heck of a lot better, but also to help reprogram the subconscious patterns that exist that are largely creating those anxious responses and feelings in the first place.

00;00;26;23 - 00;00;45;16
Thais
So we're going to start by just understanding how anxiety actually works, because once you have context for anxiety, it becomes significantly more easy to manage. And after we go through this, I'm really going to go through some really effective initial tools for re patterning. So first and foremost, a lot of us feel emotions and we think that we're just helpless to our emotions.

00;00;45;16 - 00;01;07;17
Thais
We feel like emotions are these whimsical things that are coming in and out, and often we feel powerless to them because we don't have the right tools for understanding. So anxiety is literally the build up of unresolved problems in your subconscious mind. That's what anxiety is signifying. So it's there to help you bring things to the surface level because your brain is designed to complete life experiences.

00;01;07;20 - 00;01;38;29
Thais
It's designed to finish things, to work them through so that there's resolution. And the reason for this is that your survival oriented brain isn't designed to store problems because it sees any stored inconveniences as an impediment to survival. So your anxiety is there to let you know, Hey, there's these subconsciously stored issues and it's trying to push its way to the surface anxieties, essentially trying to help you make subconsciously stored content conscious so that you can come to a space of resolution.

00;01;39;01 - 00;01;59;24
Thais
Now, the problem is that a lot of us, when we feel anxiety, we have this a residue of little problems that has built up throughout the day. And because we haven't brought those things to the conscious level, taking a moment, found a strategy, a solution, identify the need that needs to be met or question the story, which I'll get into all of that as we go through the series, because we haven't done any of those things.

00;01;59;26 - 00;02;16;21
Thais
All we feel is the emotion itself and we don't seem to have context for it. And I want to give you a little bit of background about why this is so important. So we notice problems like little problems throughout the day. Let's say small things like you're late to work and you have this thought, Oh my gosh, what is my boss going to think of me or what?

00;02;16;27 - 00;02;37;17
Thais
What are my colleagues going to think of me? Maybe you're falling behind at work in some forum on a project or maybe schoolwork if you're in university or going back to school again or Oh my gosh, I'm not spending enough time with my my kids, my children. I'm not going to have time with my husband or wife, You know, all these little things, even if they're just passing thoughts.

00;02;37;19 - 00;02;57;15
Thais
If these thoughts pass by when your mind is basically on autopilot thinking these things, any passing thoughts that is not brought to the conscious surface. Your subconscious mind is instead just basically responding to emotionally as if it's an absolute truth. So maybe you have a passing thought and you're like, Oh, I haven't spent enough time with my kids this week.

00;02;57;17 - 00;03;18;07
Thais
And that passing thought then makes you think, Oh, I'm being a I'm not being a good mother or a good father. Now you might know what a conscious level what if you actually brought that thought to the light and question that, Hey, I actually am showing up really, really well, I can't be perfect and I'll make some time to spend with my kids extra next week or spend 15 minutes of really quality time.

00;03;18;09 - 00;03;46;16
Thais
No television, no technology, no anything, just quality time to at least make up for the lack of quantity I'm able to provide at this time. You know, you might have these, like, logical conscious abilities to work through these problems, but if you don't bring it to the surface first, that passing thought that you think while you're driving to work or while you're on your computer doing something or while you're cooking dinner, you know that passing thought your subconscious mind starts to it just essentially automatically believes as if it's truth.

00;03;46;16 - 00;04;11;29
Thais
I take that as a suggestion and literally responds to emotionally as if that's 100% real and valid. And so now we run into this problem because we think roughly 60 to 70000 thoughts per day. And if we have ten, 20, 30,000, 2000 thoughts per day that are basically problem oriented without a solution, there's this build up of emotional residue in your subconscious mind.

00;04;11;29 - 00;04;30;29
Thais
Your subconscious basically takes us in as there's all these unresolved problems. This isn't good. This might be a threat. These things could be threatening. And it feels like there's this buildup and then the anxiety is trying to push that to the surface and so we have to start sourcing our anxiety and finding context for it. It's an important first step.

00;04;31;02 - 00;04;52;12
Thais
So what I want you to do is because your desire, your brain is designed to solve problems. And sometimes because we have so many thoughts throughout the day, that's 60 or 70,000 thoughts throughout the day. What can happen is even when we want to look for the context, it can often be hard to find. And if you're somebody who's struggled with anxiety for a long time, you might even be like, I have no idea what the context is.

00;04;52;18 - 00;05;20;11
Thais
And all that means is that there's just a lot of passing thoughts happening throughout the day that you're not consciously observing, which is normal. It's okay. So a good place to start if you don't have the capacity to observe your thoughts and notice when you start to feel emotionally anxious and the build up, that happens. Instead, let's say you just tend to feel the anxiety when it's very strong and it's at this point and all of a sudden it's hard to find context because that build up might have been occurring beneath the surface for minutes or hours, you know, for quite some time.

00;05;20;13 - 00;05;51;18
Thais
A good first starting point is to write down the seven areas of life. So career, financial, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and relationships. And you can break relationships into three categories friends, family and romantic partnerships. So bring on three categories. Go through all these areas and just look at ask yourself the question what problems do I feel like linger in these areas that are not currently resolved?

00;05;51;21 - 00;06;08;26
Thais
Now, the anxious brain might feel like, Oh my gosh, this is really scary. I'm not looking forward to doing this now. What do I want to do this? Because the brain also, it was wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. So your brain, your natural gut instinct might be to avoid looking at your life and not want to do that introspective work.

00;06;08;29 - 00;06;32;12
Thais
But I can tell you the more repressed your unresolved problems are, the more anxiety you're going to feel. There's a direct correlation. So the more you're avoiding these things, the more anxiety is going to get louder and louder to try to bring these things to your attention. Okay. Now, once you've done this, I want you to recognize that even if you just have a strategy, even if you put these things on paper and create a strategy, you don't need an overnight night solution.

00;06;32;13 - 00;06;48;00
Thais
It doesn't have to be. I feel like I'm not getting enough of a chance to see my children. And yet I'm working three jobs and I don't know what to do. You know, you don't have to have this solution where it's like, quit my job tomorrow and find another way to pay the bills and gets it. Know, you don't have to have these immediate solutions.

00;06;48;07 - 00;07;12;01
Thais
But if your brain has strategies, it gives your brain a tremendous amount of relief when your brain has context. So its source, what the lingering problems are in the background, and then there's strategies to move towards a solution right there, you're going to feel a huge sense of relief. Most people report to me like 30 to 40, sometimes even 50 or 60% relief just from doing that work before there's an actual full, complete answer to their problems.

00;07;12;03 - 00;07;28;08
Thais
Now, keep in mind, there's lots of ways we can create strategies, and I'm going to go through that in a separate video. But keep in mind, our strategies don't have to solve the problem. They can also contribute to a solution. So they can be something like Maybe you want to spend more time with your kids. Let's keep using that example.

00;07;28;11 - 00;07;52;15
Thais
But you can't. You physically can't look outside of the box a little bit. Maybe you can spend, even if you only have 30 minutes of time with your children every night. Maybe you can set the intention to do things that more deeply bond you in those 30 minutes. Maybe you can do things that create a lot more intimacy and closeness and vulnerability and expression and sharing with those with your children and be really conscious and intentional about how you're spending that time.

00;07;52;22 - 00;08;14;26
Thais
And even though you may not get the quality, you know, the quantity of time that you want to have, the quality of time is is more important every single step of the way. So you can look outside of the box. The solution won't necessarily be in this linear, direct opposition to what the problem is. Sometimes you'll have to sort of identify the problems, think about it, strategize a little bit and create solutions.

00;08;14;29 - 00;08;35;27
Thais
Once you're doing this and once you're actioning them or executing them, you are going to see a tremendous drop in your anxiety. Now, I want you to get your brain into the habit of actually realizing that this stuff is taking place beneath the surface. So there's some really great initial tools I can give to you for how to manage your anxiety.

00;08;35;28 - 00;09;03;07
Thais
We're going to say that those problems that are building up in the emotional residue is is the biggest chunk of what's creating anxiety. Another part of anxiety is the meaning you give to it. It's the story you tell around it. So, for example, it can cause you some anxiety that you're not spending enough time with your kids, but it's going to cause you a lot more anxiety that you then make that mean that you're a bad mother or a bad person or a bad father, or you know, your kids are going to grow up and have terrible lives and they're going to be damaged.

00;09;03;07 - 00;09;37;12
Thais
And you know, it's the meaning we're giving to things just takes that original residue of anxiety and just exacerbates it completely. So we want to source those stories and find out what stories we're telling ourselves around the problem originally and work through those stories. And you can work through those stories, through questioning them and looking for, you know, can we even know that this is real and valid and really sort of taking yourself out of just buying into those stories and investing in them unconsciously and we can do some collaboration work and things like that that I'll talk about in another video, but you can also just create a strategy for your story.

00;09;37;20 - 00;09;55;21
Thais
I'm afraid that I'm going to be a bad parent. Then can I turn around and go, okay, so what's a strategy to be a better parent in every step of the way, or what's a strategy to make sure my children grow up with the most support possible? So so we can look at it from either perspective. But we have to source those two parts.

00;09;55;21 - 00;10;15;11
Thais
We have to source what the problems are that are building up and creating emotional residue in the subconscious that anxiety's trying to bring to the surface. And we have to also notice what's the story we're telling about that problem that's adding layers of suffering to that original pain point? And can we question that story and make sure that we're not buying into something that doesn't even make any sense?

00;10;15;13 - 00;10;36;03
Thais
Because sometimes we tell ourselves these very big funny stories about how, you know, you might be showing up very, very well as a parent and you're just tearing yourself to shreds in your mind for no apparent reason. And that reason is based on old wounds and previously stored beliefs you carry around about yourself. But again, we'll talk about that in another video.

00;10;36;06 - 00;10;59;12
Thais
But these are some initial steps. So it's noticing the problems, noticing the stories, questioning the stories and creating strategies for both the problems and the perceived stories. Once you've questioned them and this is a fantastic place to start for anxiety, fantastic. So I have created an anxiety worksheet, and this is the very initial worksheet, and there are lots of other ways we can equilibrate anxiety much more quickly.

00;10;59;12 - 00;11;26;18
Thais
There's lots of deep belief work we can do around anxiety. I'll give you a quick hint as well. Anxiety has a lot to do with the beliefs of feeling unsafe or a belief in lack somewhere in your life. So not enough time, not enough money, not enough love, lover, affection, not enough security, these sorts of things. But then the safety piece is arguably the most important part, feeling that those whatever those not enough is is leading to some lack of safety in your life.

00;11;26;20 - 00;11;48;24
Thais
But anyways, I have created a quick anxiety worksheet to go along with this. You can grab the worksheet off of personal development school dot com. So w w w about personal development fool.com. We're adding it to our free literature. We're putting we've got the 60 questions in their feelings and needs list this kind of stuff. We're also putting in an anxiety worksheet.

00;11;48;26 - 00;12;09;22
Thais
And from that worksheet, there's some steps in here that will help you to isolate the problems, identify what emotional residue you're experiencing because of these painful, painful problems that are building up in the subconscious all throughout the day and then actually create strategies to question some of the stories you're telling yourself. So we have a quick introductory worksheet, but it's a really great place to get started.

00;12;09;22 - 00;12;32;01
Thais
I highly recommend doing this. If you have any anxious tendencies or you're feeling anxiety in a relationship or wherever it might be, this is a great way of familiarizing yourself and working through some of this stuff. So thank you so much for watching. I hope you're getting a lot of value out of these videos and if you are, please like them, share them, Subscribe to our channel and please also notice that.

00;12;32;04 - 00;12;58;28
Thais
Please also notice. Please, please feel free to sign up for the Personal Development school and all of our courses Anxiety we are launching as our next course on Reprograming your anxious brain. So please feel free to sign up there. Our huge launch discount are 50% discount online and in three days from when this video was posted. So please check that out as well and get in there so that you can and you can be a part of the inner community.

00;12;59;03 - 00;13;12;20
Thais
I'm in there twice a week as well, answering questions, doing live webinars. The literally you can post in the live chat, do open Q&A, all that kind of stuff. So thank you so much for watching and I'm excited to learn more about you and connect with you. Thanks.