00;00;00;09 - 00;00;24;13
Mike DiZio
My guest today is a worldwide online life coach and host of Self-love and Sweat the podcast. She is focused on helping you feel better, lead better, communicate better, love, better, parent better, be a better partner, and experience an even better life. It's a life of passion, purpose, clarity, freedom and abundant energy is what you're looking for. Then today's guest is your girl.

00;00;24;15 - 00;00;30;27
Mike DiZio
Personal Development Podcast listeners. I'd like to welcome Lunden Sousa. Hello, Lunden. How are you doing today?

00;00;31;01 - 00;00;35;15
Lunden Souza
Hey, I'm great, thanks. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to chat for sure.

00;00;35;15 - 00;00;54;10
Mike DiZio
And as I mentioned before, when I was researching a lot of your stuff, I was like really excited to ask you questions and pick your brain because you have a lot of stuff going on and we'll get into that. So I want to start with just for anyone who might not have heard of you before. Could you just share with us a bit of your backstory, what you do and you know how you are at this point where you are now?

00;00;54;12 - 00;01;16;15
Lunden Souza
Yeah, absolutely. Like you mentioned, I'm a life coach, a master life coach, master and NLP practitioner and host of Self-love and Sweat the podcast. But originally I was a 17 year old girl, leaving her parents house, leaving a small town thinking that I wanted to go to school to be a psychiatrist for criminals and write books about serial killers.

00;01;16;16 - 00;01;38;02
Lunden Souza
That's what I thought I wanted to do with my life. I moved 5 hours away from my hometown. Long Beach State is where I went and got my R started to get my degree in psychology, got my degree in psychology, and through that process, I just really fell in love with fitness. I fell in love with the way that moving your physical body could move other areas of your life.

00;01;38;04 - 00;01;59;11
Lunden Souza
And so I started as an in-home personal trainer, started training my classmates, some of my professors, and then started really becoming like part of families lives by training them in the morning, preparing healthy meals for them in their family, and then sometimes even working with their children and babysitting them or helping with kind of the logistics of family life.

00;01;59;11 - 00;02;29;14
Lunden Souza
And so I really got a deep dive into people's everyday lives and really got into fitness and at that point I started thinking about, okay, fitness is not the tool for everything. There's a big component or majority of people think that they can fix the inside by working on the outside. And I started to see through just my clients opening up to me, sharing their struggles, all the things that there was more than just like getting in shape physically.

00;02;29;14 - 00;02;51;17
Lunden Souza
There was a lot in terms of the bio that you read, write like, feel better, love better, communicate better. All those things like those aren't fancy schmancy words. Those are what people were telling me, I just want to feel better. I want to love better, I want to communicate better, all the things right? So from there, when I was 23, I got an opportunity to work for a digital fitness company that eventually got by, got bought by Adidas.

00;02;51;17 - 00;03;15;14
Lunden Souza
I moved to Austria. I was the face of that company host workout parties and, you know, I think over 13 different countries, we had a deejay set. These thousands of people would come out, we would work out. I did the YouTube channel, wrote content for this brand, all the things. And I think that initial seed of what I thought when I was training clients in their homes of like, I think there's more than just fitness.

00;03;15;20 - 00;03;33;20
Lunden Souza
It's not just about working out. That started to catch up to me again. And I remember at one point answering questions like, that's a great workout. London How many calories does that burn? Hey, London, I have extra here. How do I get rid of that? And there was just a part of me that was like, I don't want to do that anymore.

00;03;33;27 - 00;03;53;05
Lunden Souza
The workouts are not all that there is. There is a working in component. And that to me was like way sexier, way more impactful and much more juicy, if you will. I said that to a client earlier. She's like, I love that word. And I'm like, Yeah, I just had so much more, yeah, so much more to it.

00;03;53;05 - 00;04;11;02
Lunden Souza
And I started to see through my life and through the lives of others that when we started to work on our inner muffin top and not just our outer muffin top, that's when people's world started to change. That's when they started to be able to feel more confident, to take a bigger role in their job and their relationship.

00;04;11;02 - 00;04;32;25
Lunden Souza
As a parent. It's like that's when the ripple started to become bigger. Then like, okay, do I have abs? How much do I weigh and what's my body fat percentage? And so I just really made a pivot and a switch kind of left everything I had. Like I said, I was in Europe traveling all over, doing so many amazing things when it came to fitness, but I was just like, Ooh, it's time to pivot.

00;04;32;25 - 00;04;53;04
Lunden Souza
It's time to do something different and make an impact in a different way. So I became a master life coach, master, NLP practitioner. My podcast when I started it had a lot more fitness topics, workout topics, and now it's evolved. Just like I have to be more about stories of turning pain into purpose and doing what sets your soul on fire.

00;04;53;11 - 00;05;16;12
Lunden Souza
And so now I coach on the three C's clarity, communication and comfort zones, getting really clear about what you want, what it looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like. And getting into that feeling ahead of the experience. I'm a avid student of Dr. Joe Dispensers, and so I love that method of feeling ahead of the experience, not waiting for things outside of us to change.

00;05;16;14 - 00;05;33;15
Lunden Souza
And then communication right the way that we use our words to connect with others, to connect with ourselves. Our thoughts are words are so important. I did a whole course on it. Level up your language, level up your life, how to go from talker to communicator and then comfort zones like what's going to stretch us, right? Workouts. A great example.

00;05;33;19 - 00;05;52;26
Lunden Souza
It pushes us out of our physical limits. It transcends into other areas of our lives. But that's not the only way that we can get out of our comfort zone. And so helping people see, okay, how can I stretch a little bit further? How can I see the evidence of my greatness even more? And so, yeah, that's a little more about me and what I do.

00;05;52;26 - 00;06;13;10
Lunden Souza
But yeah, everything. I love the online space because everything I do is online. I can talk to you and connect with you. And I think I've always had that dream, even when I was way younger before everybody, you know, Zoom was a household name and all the things I just remember thinking, I want to be able to make an impact from anywhere in the world, visit my family, whatever I want.

00;06;13;16 - 00;06;22;22
Lunden Souza
And so I feel like I'm really living that now, which is really awesome. And so, yeah, from fitness and the workouts to more of the work ends is where I'm at.

00;06;22;24 - 00;06;40;14
Mike DiZio
Wow, there's so many good things there. Thank you for sharing that. And it's so cool how you, you took that space and you saw. Yeah, I was giving people results body wise, but there's probably 100 other amazing things you can do with fitness. And it includes a lot more people too, because maybe some people might think the gym is not for me.

00;06;40;14 - 00;07;04;16
Mike DiZio
I'm never going to have a six pack. I'm never going to have, you know, 16 inch pythons or whatever you want to call it. But there's just the everyday person out there who can learn so much more. And you really open that up to such a big audience, which is amazing. And I love to hear that. So I wanted to know for your own life, you know, a lot of times with people who are doing such good work and helping other people, they had their own sort of trials and tribulations.

00;07;04;18 - 00;07;12;16
Mike DiZio
Was there sort of yourself like a catalyst that drove you to really dive into your own healing and fix things that might needed to be fixed in your own life?

00;07;12;19 - 00;07;35;29
Lunden Souza
Yeah, I can think of a couple things that were really profound. The first one was the family belief and the ancestral belief in my family line that the more work you do, the better your work is your worth. You know, being a human doing is better than being a human being. And I remember just with working out, it was like working out could fix everything, right?

00;07;35;29 - 00;08;09;08
Lunden Souza
Just like, do more, run more, sweat more. I remember being excited to tell my grandpa I like, I go to college full time and I work seven days a week and I have a side hustle and I'm doing all the things. So I think that story eventually, as exhausting as it sounds, totally exhausted me and I found myself in hormonal disarray, PCOS, cystic acne, all these cries for help from my body that I realized was a product of my programing of more is more, I have to do more, right?

00;08;09;08 - 00;08;31;02
Lunden Souza
So in that process of slowing down and coming more into my heart, into my body, I think there was a lot of healing and a lot of great juicy stuff that came up in that process of like, well, when you're not going a mile a minute, there's a lot that's happening, you know, in our mind and in our body in ways that we can tune in and listen.

00;08;31;02 - 00;08;58;04
Lunden Souza
And so I think that big story in my life helped me tune in to the Whispers even more. Right? We don't always have to wait until we're going a mile a minute and our body has to be like, way slow down, like honking all the horns, all the brakes going on. Yeah. I think it's been a powerful tool for me to tune in and be like, I know what that sounds like that I don't have to wait till my body's, like, banging down the door.

00;08;58;06 - 00;09;25;27
Lunden Souza
And then the other one is I come from a half of my family is Italian, and on that family line I spent a lot of time with them growing up and I grew up with a very strict, controlling Italian grandfather that wanted to rule everybody's life until everybody how they should be living and all the different things. And if you can believe it or not, I did some things that did not go along with what he thought was right.

00;09;25;29 - 00;09;49;01
Lunden Souza
And it blew up everything that I thought family was that I thought basically my whole world turned upside down and that really allowed me to step more into communication and our words and conscious communication and being able to be like, Whoa, there was no such thing as connection and communication in my family. It was more like dictator, You do it like this.

00;09;49;01 - 00;10;16;24
Lunden Souza
This is the way that we do it. And if you don't do it, you're weird, you know, like all these different limiting beliefs and stories that were part of that, that when that all kind of erupted, it was such a beautiful opportunity for forgiveness, conscious communication, you know, learning a lot of family trauma, ancestral speech patterns of the ways that we were communicated to or in most cases not communicated to at all until it was like explosion time.

00;10;16;27 - 00;10;43;17
Lunden Souza
And so I would say that those two stories really changed the trajectory of my life in terms of doing less and getting more out of life. And then also having the conscious communication skills to be able to communicate in a way that drives connection. And that's not about control and that's not about trying to have things be and look a certain perfect type of way.

00;10;43;20 - 00;11;05;06
Lunden Souza
There's a really powerful stories in my life that looking back, I'm like, that was those were really hard, right? Like, I had a lot of hormonal disarray, years of unlearning and rebuilding, what it means to be healthy. It took me about five or six years to truly forgive my grandfather and step into a new represented relationship with him.

00;11;05;08 - 00;11;34;11
Lunden Souza
So it was like a lot of work, right? And like a lot of time. But when I look back, I think maybe you have a story like this too, or other listeners as well. It's like, that couldn't have not happened. Like that had to happen. Yeah. And as hard as it was, as rough as it was, as, you know, all the things that it was, I'm so grateful now because I needed that to then be able to be in the space creating the ripples that I am now.

00;11;34;14 - 00;11;56;06
Mike DiZio
How do we make so much sense? And for sure I resonate. I'm sure a lot of our viewers do too. And maybe when you're going through it, you're like, There's no way that I can forgive this person or there's no way that I would wish what I'm going through on anyone. And that may be true for the moment, but it's usually later on, after you've learned so much, after you've grown so much, after you've gotten to heal yourself, you're like, almost like thankful.

00;11;56;07 - 00;12;14;24
Mike DiZio
You're like, I'm really thankful this happened because if it didn't, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be where I am today. And you know, people are human. I'm your grandfather. Sounds like a lot like my grandfather. Italian as well. And we can imagine the time that they grew up in, right? Like I have no access to any help or therapy or stuff like that.

00;12;14;24 - 00;12;33;22
Mike DiZio
Or maybe if you were like, in the mega-rich by generally my Italian grandfather. Like, I don't think he ever shared feelings with anyone his whole life. Right? So there's that element of forgiveness too. But no, those are those are really amazing. I'm so glad that you overcame them because now you're able to help so many people with the exact same things.

00;12;33;22 - 00;12;35;05
Mike DiZio
So that's wonderful.

00;12;35;07 - 00;13;01;20
Lunden Souza
Yeah. One thing I want to touch on quickly, because you said it is going back in that family line story and learning more about his upbringing and what his life might have been like. Not necessarily to justify the way that he treated me right, but to understand it more and be like, I can see how someone growing up in this time with these resources or lack thereof, those resources thinking that X, Y, or Z, like I can just I can see that.

00;13;01;22 - 00;13;21;17
Lunden Souza
And that's something that I love to do with my clients, is learn more about those stories and rewrite them about what they're going to mean for us. Right? You make it mean like, I had a strict Italian grandfather and that's why I am the way that I am. And I'm like, Or I can be like, okay, this is what I learned.

00;13;21;17 - 00;13;41;22
Lunden Souza
This is what can, you know, be this can you know, I can throw this to the curb. I don't want that part of that. But I do need these gems. There are some gems to be taken out of the story overall, and I'll bring those with me to pass those on to generation to come. And just yeah, learning that we kind of create that story and we can rewrite that story has been really powerful.

00;13;41;29 - 00;13;54;19
Mike DiZio
A lot of that. So we know that you're an old coach. Neuro linguistic programing For anyone who hasn't heard of NLP, can you just briefly let them know what that is and why is that such a beneficial tool that everyone should learn?

00;13;54;22 - 00;14;17;09
Lunden Souza
Yeah, and NLP neuro linguistic programing. Gosh, when I found this even for myself after my healing journey, before I decided this was a modality, I wanted to include in my teaching and my coaching, I was like, my gosh, this is everything to break it down. Neuro. That's our brain. That's our, our the way our brain kind of works, the way that we think what goes on between our ears.

00;14;17;09 - 00;14;38;04
Lunden Souza
So that neurological component, linguistic, the words that we say and how they might be an indicator of our model of the world and what we believe to be true about the world, there's that surface of the iceberg, you know, that we call it the surface structure, but then there's that deep structure a lot that you can't see, but it's still there.

00;14;38;10 - 00;14;58;14
Lunden Souza
And so a lot of the way that we communicate with others, with ourselves, the words that we say can be a very great opportunity for us to learn more about our own model of the world and the model of the world of others. And then programing is we have this programing, right? Like the way that we think and speak sometimes can just be on autopilot.

00;14;58;14 - 00;15;27;27
Lunden Souza
It's like we're going down the freeway on cruise control, just doing things the way that we've always done because that's the way we've always done them. And our body and mind and everything has like memorized this experience and we just do it without thinking. And so when I lived in Austria for many years and I remember like there's the Autobahn, which actually is like the English word for freeway, but in Germany the Autobahn has like no speed limit.

00;15;27;27 - 00;15;50;19
Lunden Souza
You can just go there, you can go as fast as you want and just get where you need to go quickly. And I think a lot of the way that we live is on the autobahn, like going full force cruise control super fast and the modalities and tools and resources of NLP, I feel like are the cones. They're like the, Hey, we're going on a detour here.

00;15;50;21 - 00;16;33;19
Lunden Souza
Turn right here instead of left. Those opportune cities for us to be like, okay, this outcome of thinking and speaking and feeling is getting these results. How can I put up some cones to remind myself of who I now want to be and see what happens then? And so that's kind of yeah, NLP for me is like the hood, the cones, the ways that we reconstruct how we've always done things right, instead of blaming others for the way that they make us feel or what they did to us, it's like, okay, how can we have some ownership or ownership, as I'll often say, and take charge of that, Like start to think about what we're

00;16;33;19 - 00;16;52;25
Lunden Souza
thinking about, start to notice and slow down what we're saying about the world and about others, and how our nervous system response and our programing is kind of doing its thing and how can we change it in a way that's more empowering to the life that we say we want to live instead of waiting for things outside of us to change?

00;16;52;28 - 00;17;10;16
Mike DiZio
Wow. So like language, can you talk to someone or look at someone and hear the way they speak and know exactly sort of what's going on for them, even if they're not specifically saying, like on my life, terrible, I hate everything. But is there you know what I mean by that? Like, can you sort of pick out how people are doing but based on the words they use?

00;17;10;18 - 00;17;40;06
Lunden Souza
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And sometimes people will ask me like, well, are you analyzing me right now? And no, I'm not sitting there with like my, like NLP is such, my, such, such a big part of my world. I'm not like listening to what people say and then dissecting their issues and what might be wrong with them. But I think that there's a lot we could learn about people's model of the world based on their word choices, about how they speak about the world, how they speak about others, how they speak about their issues.

00;17;40;08 - 00;18;06;23
Lunden Souza
And so, yeah, there is a part of me that just kind of always has my spidey senses on because I feel like I'm learning an inner standing even more about others. But I'm not like, I don't know, stacking up a list of improvements that then I give to them after the conversation. Yeah, but and I think too, the more that I unpack that for myself and do this work for myself, which I do, the more empathetic and understanding I become for other people.

00;18;06;23 - 00;18;21;19
Lunden Souza
It's not like I'm a judge with the gavel trying to, you know, point out their points that they could improve on. It's kind of like, yeah, I you know, it's kind of like at the end of yoga, it's like the divine in me honors the divine in you. It's kind of like this storm in me honors the shit storm in you.

00;18;21;19 - 00;18;31;02
Lunden Souza
And I know how tough life can be sometimes. So yes, I'm paying attention, but not for the purpose of pointing out people's imperfections or like areas to improve. You know what I mean?

00;18;31;04 - 00;18;47;25
Mike DiZio
For sure. And just a follow up question about an LP, just so I understand it, does it just take a few like small tweaks to sort of change a lot of your perception and inner environment? Or is it a kind of like a complete overhaul of like sort of the way you speak and the words you use?

00;18;47;28 - 00;19;13;11
Lunden Souza
I think both, yeah. I think there have been times where it was just like, you know, it's hard to see the water when you're the fish. So sometimes it's just like something I might say or a question I might ask that allows the person to be like, I never thought of it that way. Or that opened a whole new door, a whole new portal of like an area I can explore within my own mind and sometimes, you know, it takes time.

00;19;13;11 - 00;19;32;16
Lunden Souza
And we're just kind of like one technique, one limiting belief, one area that we're struggling with at a time. So I have some clients, for example, that will tell me things like, my gosh, London, I've been in therapy for ten years and doing two sessions with you has been so profound and life changing in a way that therapy never was.

00;19;32;16 - 00;19;55;28
Lunden Souza
Not to discount it, just saying what I've heard. And then also I have clients that have worked with me for years just because they know the importance and the power of the tune up where it's just like, I want to have continuous coaching, I want continuous perspective, I want there's there to be somebody in my corner because if people that perform at a very high level, it's like we need that ability.

00;19;55;28 - 00;20;10;22
Lunden Souza
It's kind of like a boxer in a ring. You mentioned off air that you're really into UFC and things like that, but like when you're not in the ring in the arena and let's say the round is over and you go sit back in that corner and there's somebody whispering in your ear like how you could have done better ways.

00;20;10;22 - 00;20;28;29
Lunden Souza
You could have, you know, improved the other person's putting the coconut oil stuff on your cheek so the punches blow off. It's like you need those people in your corner. So, yes, there are moments of profound transformation like those shit. Moments that happen. And then there's also that sense of like, okay, I don't want to do this alone.

00;20;29;04 - 00;20;47;00
Lunden Souza
I know there are a lot of areas that I want to work on, and I know the deeper I go, the more things will be revealed. So there is kind of both where people will come in and, you know, do a few sessions and just be like, Holy cow, like everything's different. And then there's some that realize like, okay, yeah, everything is different.

00;20;47;00 - 00;20;55;04
Lunden Souza
And I want that continued support, that continued, you know, kind of link arms. I'm with you as we peel back some of those onion layers.

00;20;55;07 - 00;21;11;27
Mike DiZio
I've tried so many different like modalities, like healing modalities over my life. I'm going to like a junkie when I know for sure. I want to try that next because what you just explained sounds really, really interesting and impactful. So thanks for sharing that and especially not coconut oil.

00;21;12;03 - 00;21;28;20
Lunden Souza
sorry. Yeah, just got it. Next time I'm in the ring, we need Vaseline. But you know what I mean. I think anybody can visualize that too. I need that little, like, frozen metal thing that they put on your. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Down and take down some of the inflammation. It's nice to have the people in your corner.

00;21;28;22 - 00;21;41;26
Mike DiZio
Definitely. Definitely. So we know you're the creator and the host of the Love and Sweat podcast. Just want to know, like what was your inspiration for starting the podcast in the beginning and what types of content and topics can listeners expect if they tune in?

00;21;41;29 - 00;22;03;00
Lunden Souza
First of all, I love listening to podcasts, so that's kind of originally where it started was like, I love the ability to get information and learn just right from your ears while you might be on a walk or running errands or driving or whatever. So as an avid podcast listener, I was like, heck yeah, I want to create a podcast.

00;22;03;00 - 00;22;23;05
Lunden Souza
I also love to talk like I love having one on one conversations with people, talking on a podcast for me is very easy and effortless. Like it's not hard for me to think of topics to get going on something and to coach and use my voice in a way that I feel like is helpful. So that for me was kind of where it started.

00;22;23;05 - 00;22;43;02
Lunden Souza
I'm like, I love podcasts and I, you know, have no shortage of words, So like, let's do this. So at the time I was living in Europe and I went to Sardinia, Italy for three weeks solo vacation. I was just like, I'm just going to immerse myself in podcasting. And so I like Googled like top ten things to Do to start a podcast.

00;22;43;02 - 00;23;04;15
Lunden Souza
And I downloaded this like free PDF and just kind of went through all the checkboxes and started creating what this podcast would be. That's where I came up with the title Self-love and Sweat, and that was kind of the work in and the workout component that kind of fit into a title and then really sat on it and just like meditated about it, prayed about it.

00;23;04;15 - 00;23;31;28
Lunden Souza
I just like, started to embody the feeling of what it would feel like to be a podcast host and the work that comes along with it. Knowing I wanted to upload each week, whatever. So then in March 2020 is actually when I launched it, which was kind of, I don't know, cool and perfect timing at the same time, because that's when the whole world shut down and COVID happened and there was a lot of people listening to podcasts and also just needing that support right in their ears when they felt very alone.

00;23;31;28 - 00;23;57;12
Lunden Souza
And so that's when we started it. And the cool thing is, is that even though I've sort of pivoted in terms of the content direction, it's not as focused on like working out and fitness. It's more turning pain to purpose, It's more stories about my life and my learnings as a life coach and NLP practitioner, etc. The mission statement of it didn't really have to change, which is really cool.

00;23;57;12 - 00;24;25;12
Lunden Souza
So what I say is self-love and sweat. The podcast is the place where you'll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. And so the cool thing, even though the direction was very fitness focused at the beginning because it evolved with me, I was like, yeah, that's why creating mission statements and getting a lot of that clarity is so important because that actually didn't really have to switch.

00;24;25;19 - 00;24;53;04
Lunden Souza
Now that the message and styles of episodes have shifted a little bit, I interview some amazing people that do things. I am like, my, I'm I've interviewed this woman one time, her name is Jen Drummond, and she has seven kids. She climbed the seven second highest summit on seven different continents, you know, and did it because she was inspired after being like this close to dying in a car crash.

00;24;53;06 - 00;25;14;10
Lunden Souza
Just like these stories where you're like, M.G. and they're still like, you know, living, they're ripple, they're still making an impact. And so I love the people I've been able to meet through conversations, through the podcast, and then I do solo episodes as well, just sharing tools and strategies to help people get more of what they want.

00;25;14;10 - 00;25;35;29
Lunden Souza
Or my experience doing things like I recently did a two day and then a three day water fast. So I shared that journey and my perspective of certain things that people might want to know or be interested in. But yeah, I feel like the pools of what self-love and sweat means for the podcast have expanded and changed a little bit.

00;25;36;01 - 00;25;57;09
Lunden Souza
But yeah, it's been now almost four years of uploading every Friday and I just love it. I think the the ease of just setting up your computer pressing record and being able to, you know, upload it somewhere and it goes everywhere I just think is so cool. And yeah, that's like my, my main thing is doing my podcast.

00;25;57;09 - 00;25;57;24
Lunden Souza
I just love.

00;25;57;24 - 00;26;18;21
Mike DiZio
It. I love that. Yeah, you're in your element, so there's no way you could sit on it for four years if you didn't absolutely love it. And it's really neat. And I get to do it too, is talk to really inspirational people who are, you know, inspiring people and changing the world. So that's amazing. So we know your Instagram and your website is both called Life Like London.

00;26;18;24 - 00;26;23;12
Mike DiZio
I was curious what the meaning of the name Life like London and why did you choose that name?

00;26;23;19 - 00;26;46;03
Lunden Souza
Yeah, that's funny because when I first created it and then I was it was kind of at the start of working with this Austrian company, moving to Austria, and they were reading it and they were like, Life, like London. Shouldn't it be live like London? And I was like, No, no, no, no, no. This is not me telling you the way you should live your life this openly, honestly, and transparently.

00;26;46;05 - 00;27;07;13
Lunden Souza
Showing you what my life is like so that you could be like, you know, life like magic or life like. However, insert your name to. Yeah. And create more of the life that you want. But life, like London started as a newspaper column in my hometown. So this woman, long story short, this woman was talking a lot of shit about my dad and my dad was a baseball coach.

00;27;07;13 - 00;27;28;10
Lunden Souza
Her son played for my dad. She decided to, you know, say a lot of her opinion about my dad, which was very unkind. So I was like, okay, what can I do to make this bigger than her and to make this a bigger impact? So I reached out to the local newspaper and what started with a Father's Day article for my dad turned into a weekly column every Saturday that was called Life Like London.

00;27;28;17 - 00;27;42;14
Lunden Souza
And so every Saturday I would write like health and wellness tips and not to discount my hometown newspaper, but this was not the New York Times. This was not The Washington Post. I don't even know how many people read it. I probably can count them on my hands and toes. Not a rude way, but you know what I mean.

00;27;42;17 - 00;28;10;08
Lunden Souza
Yeah. So in this article it was actually published online as well. So it was like back in the day, I don't know if they still do this, when they would throw the newspapers at your house and you'd have like the physical newspaper. They also published it online. And so this guy that worked for an Austrian startup called Runtastic had a Google alert set up in his Gmail for fitness apps and I wrote an article in LA My Life like London column about fitness apps that I liked.

00;28;10;15 - 00;28;26;11
Lunden Souza
That was when smartphones and like that fitness technology was starting to come to the world. So I was like, Yeah, I like this app and this app and this app and just kind of wrote whatever it was. I think it was like 5 to 700 words. I had every other Saturday or every Saturday on the Life Like London column.

00;28;26;13 - 00;28;59;18
Lunden Souza
And from there that catapulted like a whole new world for me. Then I got a chance to be on the YouTube channel for this Austrian based company. I got to move to Austria, travel the world, host workout events in like 13 different countries. Do all this really cool stuff based on this one column because this woman was talking crap about my dad, which I think is so cool because sometimes you see like other people's opinions about us as something that we either need to defend and get revenge over or be pissed off and angry about and hold on to all of that.

00;28;59;20 - 00;29;23;12
Lunden Souza
But even at like, yeah, like I was 21 at the time. Like even then I was like, wait, yeah, I want to like, go rougher rapper up a little bit and like, tell her off and be pissed. But like, what's better and like, bigger than that, you know? Yeah. And so that's how life like London started. It was a column in the newspaper, me just sharing from my heart what I liked, what healthy tips and tools had worked for me.

00;29;23;18 - 00;29;43;02
Lunden Souza
Hopefully inspiring other people to do the same, to ask themselves instead of waiting for society in the world to tell me how I should be, How do I want to be? What do I want to, you know, what kind of impact do I want to make in the world? What is it like to communicate as me and to live as me and to work out as me and just like, fill in the blank, right?

00;29;43;02 - 00;29;57;18
Lunden Souza
I said life like, insert your name. Yeah. And so it just kind of stuck and I just kind of like it like life, like London. It just like l l l rolls off your tongue a little bit. Yeah. It makes good conversation fashion, because I think people kind of get it. But then they also think like you do.

00;29;57;18 - 00;30;17;21
Lunden Souza
Like, what specifically does that mean and where did it come from? So I think it's a cool story. And yeah, I kind of like you know, words that are like dumped into life like London. So Jay and I and I like it. And so my social media, my website, my coaching is life like London, but more to help others decipher what that looks like for themselves.

00;30;17;24 - 00;30;31;05
Mike DiZio
So on your website, it says you specialize in the three C's clarity, communication and comfort zones. You touched on it before, but like why are these areas specifically so important to focus on? And how do you work with people in those areas?

00;30;31;07 - 00;30;59;13
Lunden Souza
Yeah, the three C's I love coaching in these areas. The first one, Clarity that really stems from a book that I read that completely changed my life. It's called High-Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard, and he did a massive study across the world's highest performers, which doesn't necessarily mean the most rich or successful. It really is people who are successful over the long term while still maintaining positive relationships.

00;30;59;21 - 00;31;37;18
Lunden Souza
And that for me was a very profound moment. It was like, ding, ding, ding, because I had seen so many people be successful, do all the things but like treated people like crap and just weren't kind and didn't have positive relationships. So Claire De I believe is so important because in this book, not that it has to be about the book, but when I was reading this book, the number one habit of high performers was continuously seeking clarity, not set it and forget it, not saying like, This is my goal, and then waiting ten years to double check it, that still sits well with you, but creating a relationship with your goals and continuously getting

00;31;37;18 - 00;32;01;22
Lunden Souza
clear on what that means. I love doing this through a exercise called Core values, so helping my clients come up with a list of values, some highly general words that describe how they want to show up in the world and getting super clear about what that looks like in their life, if not society, social media, all the things will tell us how we are supposed to be and what we should do.

00;32;01;25 - 00;32;19;24
Lunden Souza
And so getting that clarity is really, really important because as a coach, I want to learn more about you. I don't want to tell you what your goal should be. I want to learn more about your rules to your game so that we can help you win together. So that clarity component is huge. If you don't know where you're going, you're not going to get there, right?

00;32;20;01 - 00;32;42;25
Lunden Souza
Do I think that there is some surrender component? Absolutely right. So it's like sometimes our beautiful, puny little minds can only see a certain outcome, but sometimes the universe will deliver something even more magical, amazing, profound and bigger than we could have ever expected. But that doesn't mean we just kick back and wait for the silver platter. I think having that clarity is really helpful for us to know.

00;32;42;25 - 00;33;09;21
Lunden Souza
Okay, what's the next step? Okay, what's the next step after that? And then communication. This is huge. There are so many people growing in adults out there using the same communication skills and ways that they did when they were five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12. You asked me earlier about being able to listen to someone's words and maybe like, learn more about them.

00;33;09;21 - 00;33;41;20
Lunden Souza
And it's like, yeah, sometimes our inner six year old is having a tantrum, but we're 56, right? Sometimes we're lying and afraid to share the truth like we did when we were a teenager. But we're, you know, a grown ass person now who can do whatever we want, right? So there's a lot in communication. And also as we're becoming something new and different and changing and evolving, I think it's great to be able to use our words to explain to others kind of where we're at re present ourselves to the world.

00;33;41;20 - 00;34;03;02
Lunden Souza
I've seen a lot of people's communication change tremendously when they've gotten clarity about who they want to be healed past trauma and a lot of those things from the tonality, the speed of their voice, the things that they used to say to now what they do say, and I think communication in a way that drives connection instead of convincing is really powerful.

00;34;03;02 - 00;34;26;24
Lunden Souza
So that's what I like to coach on a lot. And then comfort zones. I think we have to be stretched. We can't just be in everything is awesome land and everything just is perfect all the time. Like we have to stretch ourselves when it comes to having the tough conversations, you know, doing the tough workouts, which is a great way of, you know, utilizing workouts as part of this.

00;34;26;27 - 00;34;58;19
Lunden Souza
Yeah, it's one of the pillars, but not the end. All, be all of everything doing things that scare us a little bit, you know, speaking up, going after that new job or that promotion, there's So many ways that we can stretch and expand even more that that's why I think those three C's are so important. Getting super clear, being able to communicate clearly and nonviolently and consciously and use our words as our, you know, as a connector, not a convincer, and then get out of our comfort zones.

00;34;58;22 - 00;35;14;19
Lunden Souza
You know, even myself, like when I left my job in Austria, I knew I was taking a big leap. I had always told myself I was afraid of heights. So I decided to jump out of an airplane. I'm like, I'm taking a big leap. I always tell myself this story that I'm afraid of heights, so I'm going to jump.

00;35;14;19 - 00;35;38;20
Lunden Souza
Yeah, it was petrifying and I loved it, right? So I got to be like, by getting out of my comfort zone and trying something scary, I learned that I'm not as scared of heights as I thought that I was. And what a powerful, like, physical representation of what I was going to do for some people. A lot of people that I work with actually is having that tough conversation with the person that they love is so far out of their wheelhouse and comfort zone.

00;35;38;20 - 00;35;55;24
Lunden Souza
It's just like, you know, totally is like the thing, right? So that was kind of put together the communication and comfort zone. But I think that if we're continuously seeking clarity up, leveling our communication and pushing our limits, we can have a really cool life experience.

00;35;55;26 - 00;36;07;09
Mike DiZio
I love that. So valuable. And not to put you on the spot or what's your next comfort zone stretch? Is there anything for you that you feel like this year? You want to like get out of your comfort zone?

00;36;07;11 - 00;36;33;00
Lunden Souza
I have recently been working on because I'm always doing my own inner work to this old limiting belief that I was able to find the root of that. I'm too much, that I am too loud, too bright, just like, calm down, you know? Yeah. And so for me, not doing that is really out of my comfort zone. Not playing small, right?

00;36;33;00 - 00;36;52;06
Lunden Souza
Showing up. I'm doing another in-person event coming up in February in Colorado. I did them a bunch before the pandemic, but this is kind of not about fitness. This is called Voice of Impact. This is teaching people how to amplify their influence and use their voice in a way that makes an impact in their home or in, you know, in the world.

00;36;52;09 - 00;37;10;16
Lunden Souza
And so that's out of my comfort zone because. There's still some of those whispers, and they're getting quieter because I'm working on them and using NLP to be like, Nope, you know, that's not me anymore. Thank you for serving me, but not anymore. Because there are still those voices that are like, Who do you think you are? Please don't do it.

00;37;10;16 - 00;37;47;06
Lunden Souza
You know, just calm down a little bit, you know? So what's pushing me out of my comfort zone now is being like, No, those voices, what I hear, that's not true. It came from a particular scenario that I recalled when I was like seven or eight, and it's not serving anybody by me playing small. So, you know, being on more podcasts, doing more in-person events, going to, you know, different places to meet new people and not being afraid to be like, Yeah, I'm a life coach and I have a podcast and, you know, just like to put more of my meanness out there.

00;37;47;09 - 00;38;07;09
Lunden Souza
I think some people might be like, what? London You're so, like talkative and, you know, extroverted. How could that? But it is that's just something I'm working on and that you're stretching myself and my limits to do to be like, don't play small. I'm very motivated by mortality. Like I think about my death a lot. Like I have a sign on fridge that says, Nobody cares, you're going to die.

00;38;07;09 - 00;38;28;04
Lunden Souza
It's time. Which is basically my reminder of like London. The more you play small, the less of a ripple you're going to make. And you don't know how much time you have left. So like, chop chop, let's go. And so I'd be lying if I said there were no inner voices slowing me down. But sometimes there are. So I'm stretching my comfort zone by being like, I'm going to do it anyway.

00;38;28;06 - 00;38;53;08
Mike DiZio
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. That's really wonderful and I'm glad you can be here and have this thought forum to to share and show your awesome self. So that's amazing. So today's January 23rd. So now is around the time where people are pretty much abandoned or forgotten about their New Year's resolutions positively. So this question is you have a video entitled Ditch New Year's Resolutions.

00;38;53;08 - 00;39;03;29
Mike DiZio
Choose Words of the Year for 2024. And why is choosing your words a better strategy than doing the usual resolutions that don't usually seem to stick?

00;39;04;06 - 00;39;23;13
Lunden Souza
Yeah, I just don't like New Year's resolutions. I'll go on the record saying that because I feel like and maybe this stems from my background in fitness where it's like we set this goal and then we're not there yet. It's like, I want to lose £10. I want to do X, Y or Z. And it's like we're immediately in this space where I'm here and my resolution is here.

00;39;23;13 - 00;39;49;18
Lunden Souza
And for those listening and not watching, it's like there's separation between where I am now and my New Year's resolution. Yeah. So I think that's why people fall off the bandwagon so quickly is because they set this grandiose vision, New Year's resolution, and it's coupled by this feeling of like, I can do it, but then like life B life in and everybody, everything does its thing that it can be very easy just to forget about it, right?

00;39;49;18 - 00;40;08;21
Lunden Souza
Lack of clarity. And then just like not do the thing anymore. And so with the word of the year, you can be that now. So my words of the year are integrity and endurance. I have a vision board that I created that can see I visually created, put those words on a board, and I can be that today, right in pursuit of my goal.

00;40;08;21 - 00;40;32;20
Lunden Souza
Now, not to say that you shouldn't set the goals that maybe we previously called New Year's resolutions, Right. It's nice to have those goals set. Absolutely. But we can be the words of the year now. Right. How would integrity, endurance show up? How would integrity, endurance communicate in this particular situation? How would I, you know, just asking myself those questions, what would my word of the year do?

00;40;32;20 - 00;40;56;17
Lunden Souza
How would they communicate? How would they show up? How would they talk to my kids, talk to my family? How would they, you know, show up physically in the world? Right. Sometimes our our body posture of embodying some words can get us into that state, too. So I just yeah, I just don't like anything that creates, like separation or lack where it's like, I want to lose, but I'm not there yet.

00;40;56;17 - 00;41;18;14
Lunden Souza
It's like words of the year. You can be now and you can be today and you can embody, you know, this morning, this afternoon, this evening, next week, next year. And I just feel like they're much like it's you can use that in all areas of your life, your health and wellbeing and your relationships and your finances in all areas of your life.

00;41;18;14 - 00;41;45;24
Lunden Souza
These words of the year can be include it and just be more fluid throughout all areas of our lives. Plus, they're easy to remember. Like ideally, when you choose your word or two of the year, you memorize them like you think about them, you consult them regularly, you cultivate a relationship with them. And so in pursuit of your goal and pursuit of whatever your New Year's resolution might be, how can you be more of those?

00;41;45;29 - 00;42;02;02
Lunden Souza
How can you embody more of your words of the year in the process? And I just that way cooler, way more attainable way more. I can do that now and I can start now instead of I'm not there yet or I'm almost there type of.

00;42;02;05 - 00;42;18;06
Mike DiZio
Just so much science. I love that because if you have this big grandiose goal and by February you haven't even started yet, you're probably more like something to be like not forget about it. But you know what body like what you want to be right away. And I probably even helps the process happen faster as well.

00;42;18;08 - 00;42;35;15
Lunden Souza
Absolutely. Because that's like a good thing you can share with your friends. You can ask yourself regularly, like when you want to make a decision or you're deciding whether to opt in or opt out of something. What you should say. Yes or no to. You're not listening to what someone else thinks you should be doing or what you're supposed to be doing.

00;42;35;15 - 00;43;03;23
Lunden Souza
You're like, Wait, what would my core values do? And to your point of getting excited and setting a goal, like there's a lot that happens when we it's January 1st and we're like, okay, I'm going to work out five days a week or I'm going to reach this goal. And then we share it on social media and we get a lot of positive feedback in the comments that positive feedback can actually dwindle our execution energy because we're so inspired and motivated by what everybody says.

00;43;03;23 - 00;43;22;23
Lunden Souza
What do you think of that person who's always starting like a new weight loss journey or a new this? And they share it on social media and then they get a bunch of comments. You can do it. You got this. I'm so proud of you. So not to say that you shouldn't share your goals, but there's a part that like, you know, with my client too, it's like, yeah, your balloons are there, but we got to anchor down.

00;43;22;23 - 00;43;43;15
Lunden Souza
Like you got to actually do the work and sometimes getting excited about the goals, sharing them on social media and then getting a lot of positive reinforcement actually takes away the the action we would actually take because there's part of us that's like, yeah, I got this. It's like, no, you don't. Yeah. Just because 50 people commented and said you got this doesn't mean that you've done the work to get there yet.

00;43;43;15 - 00;44;02;11
Lunden Souza
So I think that's also a struggle with New Year's resolutions is because we get excited about them. Everybody is like supportive, but none of the work's been done yet, but there's some sort of feeling of fulfillment internally that happens when we get a lot of that feedback and that reassurance from others that it actually prevents us from doing the thing.

00;44;02;16 - 00;44;16;08
Lunden Souza
So it's like, Set your words of the year, share it with people that are close to you and then go out and be without needing to shout it from the rooftops. Like let your actions be the loudest representation of who you're becoming.

00;44;16;10 - 00;44;36;17
Mike DiZio
Exactly. I love it. So we talk a lot about relationships at the Personal Development school. So on a touch on one of your podcast episodes, it was titled Can you be Friends with an Ex? So you know I want viewers. Definitely. You should check into this podcast. It's a really great one, but I was wonder if you can give us a brief insight into being friends with an ex.

00;44;36;17 - 00;44;39;03
Mike DiZio
Is this a good idea or not a good idea?

00;44;39;06 - 00;45;13;24
Lunden Souza
Well, my old programing used to say that you're supposed to hate your ex and that you're supposed to have a big, you know, volcano eruption of breakup and you did this and you're horrible and like all the things. But it actually wasn't until someone I was dating said to me, London, like, you're amazing. And the people that you have dated are probably amazing too, because you dated them, you know, And that really made me think of like, okay, do I want to be the person that's amazing, that's dated amazing people?

00;45;13;24 - 00;45;36;08
Lunden Souza
Or do I want to be the person that has a history of, like you exes and I was like, I want to be that first one. So how can I get to know more of the amazing qualities of my says? And so I used to think, no, my original programing went something like this, like thinking it had to be a certain type of way, feeling this feeling of disgust and then like never talking to them again.

00;45;36;10 - 00;45;54;12
Lunden Souza
And I think that it depends on the person, right? Like I have to want to be friends with that ex. And then they also have to want to be friends with me too, and that has to be okay with them. And also like potentially their new relationships and things like that. But it's really cool to explore that new narrative now.

00;45;54;12 - 00;46;12;09
Lunden Souza
So now my answer is yes, you can be friends with your ex and is there a lot that goes into it? Yeah, because I remember and I shared this in the podcast that you're mentioning, but I went recently, went to Dubai with my ex. He's dating someone new now. She's super sweet. I face time with her a bunch.

00;46;12;09 - 00;46;46;18
Lunden Souza
Got to know her. We just like it was all good on all ends. Right? We're staying in, of course. Yeah. Separate bedrooms and this, like, two bedroom Airbnb. And I hadn't seen him since we broke up because we broke up in 2020. When I moved back to America, I was the pandemic, all the things. And so we hadn't seen each other in three years, but we had always had this really great connection and friendship and there was some sort of programing that still existed because when we were again together in the same house, he started talking to me and saying things to me in the same way that he would when we were in our

00;46;46;24 - 00;47;06;06
Lunden Souza
relationship, which then it never like bothered me. It was just part of who he was. But now that I am different, I started to notice, just like I don't really want to be talked to like that anymore. Or when you say that I'm not your girlfriend. So like, you know, and it wasn't he wasn't doing it consciously as I could just back into the unconscious programing.

00;47;06;06 - 00;47;28;28
Lunden Souza
And so in that process and communication right there was a moment where it was emotionally charged and I had to be like, Hey, I'm realizing you used to, you know, say these things or use this tonality, these just ways of speaking to me that are no longer like, that's not okay with the person I am now. So if you want to still be friends with me, this is the person I am now and this is the communication I tolerate.

00;47;29;01 - 00;47;46;27
Lunden Souza
This is no longer okay with me, but not just like, you're so rude and you're just like the person I, you know, dated back then. And no wonder we broke up. It was just like, No, I get it. This is how we were used to communicating with one another. It's no longer cool with me. And here's how you can communicate with me moving forward.

00;47;46;27 - 00;48;08;28
Lunden Souza
Here's the version of me that will communicate like this. And so that's been really cool too, because it does take some unlearning and then re getting to know each other and reestablishing communication lines of communication. What friendship looks like moving forward. Right. Like, I think there's a lot of things outside of just being like, yeah, I'm friends with my ex.

00;48;09;00 - 00;48;29;27
Lunden Souza
But yeah, I believe now it's possible. And my narrative surrounding that is very different than what it once was. And yeah, my programing is different. And then we also, I think, get to learn a lot about ourselves by still being friends with somebody we used to be in a romantic relationship with because we can identify areas that we maybe have stayed the same and we love that.

00;48;30;02 - 00;48;50;04
Lunden Souza
And it's like, God, we just picked up right where we left off, you know? And then there's areas where we've definitely grown and changed, where then we get another opportunity to share that with one another and be like, okay, moving forward as previous romantic partners, now friends, here's what it looks like and here's how like are all parties involved are okay.

00;48;50;04 - 00;49;07;11
Lunden Souza
I think that's a huge one too. With being friends with your ex is like if you have a new partner or they have a new partner, I think it has to be cool with them. You know, I think there's an element of respect for that too, which was why it was so important for me to like, face time with her and talk with her and she's like, that's so awesome that you're supporting him on this trip.

00;49;07;11 - 00;49;30;21
Lunden Souza
Like, so cool. And I like, we just invited them to come visit me here in Utah whenever they want. So I think there's a new way to represent that relationship. And I also want to be respectful of like anybody I might be dating or that person might be dating to first thing. That's a really important component to building a friendship with an ex also.

00;49;30;24 - 00;49;47;02
Mike DiZio
Wow, that's great. Yeah. That experience. Yeah. I don't know if I'm thinking about my ex, if I could do that. But you know what? As long as you've done some of the work yourself and you feel like you've grown, why not? Like, because then you, as you said, you can kind of see the things that, yeah, that's why that didn't work.

00;49;47;03 - 00;49;54;11
Mike DiZio
Or yeah, that's why, you know, I didn't feel good when they talk like this. So I think that's great that you got to do that and see.

00;49;54;16 - 00;50;10;13
Lunden Souza
I'm not every ex, you know, It doesn't have to be every act like I think of my ex in college who cheated on me. And then like a few months ago he did the follow unfollow thing, which I didn't know was a thing until my friend told me, he followed unfollowed you. And I was like, hell no, I don't want to be friends with that.

00;50;10;21 - 00;50;33;26
Lunden Souza
It's like, Yeah, yeah, like, yeah, from what the her and the pain from the past. Plus like we're grown ups and we're doing this follow unfollow thing that I just learned about. Like I don't think that that's an ex I'm going to pursue a relationship with. Yeah. You know, so I think we can kind of choose to what sits well with our heart and soul and what's in alignment with the person we want to be and what our values are now.

00;50;33;26 - 00;50;42;16
Lunden Souza
But I can think of some exes where I'm like, yeah, I definitely love the friendship. And then there's others where I'm like, No, we're good. We don't need to reconnect. It's all good.

00;50;42;18 - 00;50;49;11
Mike DiZio
Sure, sure. It makes sense. And so you celebrated a recent birthday. When was your actual birthday again?

00;50;49;13 - 00;50;52;16
Lunden Souza
It was November 18th. Was a couple a few months ago.

00;50;52;16 - 00;51;09;18
Mike DiZio
But I was thinking you one of your podcast episodes that you you entitled Six Life Lessons that you Learned at 35 years old. I just wonder if you could share with our audience one or some of the lessons that really were profound for you from turning 35 years old. Cool.

00;51;09;25 - 00;51;38;02
Lunden Souza
Yeah, I don't have the list in front of me of what I specifically on that episode, but I do remember one which I think is huge, and I think this one reveals itself more and more to me as the years go on is our ability to silence the shoulds and supposed tos. I just think it can be so easy to let society, family others tell us, Hey, you should be here by a particular age, you should do this.

00;51;38;02 - 00;52;06;09
Lunden Souza
You're supposed to do this. And I can think of a lot of times where I was overwhelmed by that, like, I'm supposed to be here by this age. I'm 35 and I, you know, just finally found my home home place that I like to live. And I'm not married and I don't have kids. And like all this list of like societal norms that I think especially this year, I've really been able to be like, not my monkey, not my circus, Like I have my core values.

00;52;06;09 - 00;52;25;21
Lunden Souza
I know what I stand for. I know what it feels like to live the life that I want to live. And that's enough and that's perfect for me. There was a time when I first moved back from Austria to America and I was at a wedding as a plus one for a friend of mine, the person that was getting married.

00;52;25;21 - 00;52;45;11
Lunden Souza
I knew them, but I wasn't close enough to get invited, but close enough to be a valuable plus one. So I there and then I had just moved back from Austria and there was a woman there who was asking me like, what are you going to do next? You just moved back from Austria. And I was like, I don't know, like I might go to Spain, I might, you know, I'm not sure.

00;52;45;11 - 00;52;59;07
Lunden Souza
I just might do this. I have a few things up in the air, but I just wanted to spend time with my family because it's COVID and we were in lockdown here. So, like, I don't know and I'm not sure. And she was like, What do you mean you don't know? Like, you don't know what you're going to do?

00;52;59;07 - 00;53;18;12
Lunden Souza
And I was like, No. And in that moment I realized like, I'm enamored by the unknown. I get so excited about not knowing what's next because I just know it could be so remarkable beyond what I could imagine. And in some people's model of the world, it's like, No, you should know what's next and you should have certainty and all these things, right?

00;53;18;14 - 00;53;34;16
Lunden Souza
And it was just such a split second moment where later on I thought about it and I've shared it on a lot of podcasts and with clients too, where I'm like, that was a moment where our models of the world were not the same. I could have easily gotten worked up and think, my God, she's right.

00;53;34;21 - 00;53;58;26
Lunden Souza
Maybe I should have a plan and maybe I should know what I'm going to do next. And maybe I'm supposed to have like it all in order and that it, you know. But I think as the years go on, I just am more excited about my own things that I think I should do and think I'm supposed to do and allowing them to kind of change and evolve and transform as other avenues and doors kind of open up in my life.

00;53;58;26 - 00;54;20;04
Lunden Souza
And so that's been one of the biggest learnings that I think became so much more rooted when I turned 35, because like even talking to my grandpa, I remember on my 30th birthday, our 32nd birthday, I can't remember at my birthday dinner, he was like, Well, at your age, London, you should be doing this, this and this. Like just listing out the shoulds like it was his on my own birthday dinner.

00;54;20;04 - 00;54;45;02
Lunden Souza
And I remember being like, What? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know, so instead of absorbing them, you know, allowing them just to kind of like, slough off or just, you know, thank you for the shoulds and supposed do's unsolicited. And I'm still going to root down and get clear in my core values so that I can tell myself when I believe I should do and what I'm supposed to do next.

00;54;45;04 - 00;54;55;28
Lunden Souza
And so that's been one of the most, I think, profound learnings. And without having the list of what I shared on the podcast in front of me, I know for sure that that one was on the list and that was really powerful.

00;54;55;28 - 00;55;13;09
Mike DiZio
And that is a powerful one. Yeah, the shoulds are like a dream killer sometimes. And you know, for people like yourself, I imagine who is you're more of like a trailblazer and probably, you know, you think more outside of the box. Probably a lot of the things that you share with people that are kind of like can't even grasp, you know what I mean?

00;55;13;12 - 00;55;39;18
Mike DiZio
So a lot of people, I imagine they let people opinions and thoughts just make them be like, you know what? Maybe they're right. Maybe I shouldn't be doing that. So by you saying, you know what, I'm living the way that I want to live is what me happy and really like, no one has to agree with it. That's such a good gift to give to yourself, because now you're going to create without anything sort of holding you back and stopping you from impacting the world, basically.

00;55;39;20 - 00;56;06;11
Lunden Souza
And a lot of my, you know, certain relationships that I had, friendships, people I was once close to is like, sometimes that's not the same anymore. And things change. And who we once thought were our friends. As we start to become, like you said, trailblazers living life more on our own terms. It's like there's some people that when we create that new like Civ or calendar, it's like the water goes through and the spaghetti stays in.

00;56;06;11 - 00;56;32;06
Lunden Souza
It's like some things have to just be on their way out and not be part of that. And so that's sometimes challenging. With being this trailblazer of your life. You're like, Wait, am I alone? Like, am I doing, you know, And sometimes you are really alone in the trenches in a beautiful way. And what scares me a lot is ask myself, okay, where do people that are also living in a way that I want to be living?

00;56;32;06 - 00;56;48;12
Lunden Souza
Where are they hanging out? What are they doing? And so being more conscious with my connections has been really helpful. I joined an awesome Breathwork gym since I've moved here in Utah. So like the people that are weekly going to breathwork and meditation are very different than a person might be going out on to a bar or whatever.

00;56;48;12 - 00;57;22;26
Lunden Souza
So specifically choosing, okay, in this process of, you know, being who I want to be, there might not be people around that want to be around for this new version of me. And that's totally okay. But being more conscious with my connections and, you know, where I meet people and doing things a little bit out of my comfort zone for the sake of meeting others that are also doing life on their own terms and creating their dream life and reality and all the things that's been helpful too, because I look back and I'm like, yeah, there's some friends where it's just like the person I am now and the person they are like, It

00;57;22;26 - 00;57;38;02
Lunden Souza
just we can't hang out in the same way that we used to. That doesn't mean that we, like, hate each other. It just means that like we don't hang out in the way that we used to. And I think as humans were built for connection. And so that communication piece and that connection piece I think is really powerful.

00;57;38;02 - 00;57;47;27
Lunden Souza
So I've just enjoy kind of meeting new people where I am now and I've met some really awesome cool individuals on their journey and path too.

00;57;47;29 - 00;58;08;21
Mike DiZio
That's lovely. And you're one on one NLP coaching practice. I was wondering what are some of the most common things that people will come to you with as a career? Is it relationships? Is it like everything under the sun or like, is there sort of common threads or common themes that people seem to come to you with for your coaching practice?

00;58;08;24 - 00;58;37;13
Lunden Souza
They're all people who know that they're meant for more and know that they can't do it alone and that they have blind spots that they can't see and they want someone to help kick them in the ass and simultaneously give them a big fat hug and juicy kiss, right? Like someone who's there. Like there was a quote one time that I heard in yoga and it was surround yourself with the doers, the dreamers, the believers and thinkers, and most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you can't see it yourself.

00;58;37;15 - 00;59;10;15
Lunden Souza
And so I have a variety of reasons why people might be coming to me, whether it's, you know, rewriting a story for their new life after divorce, after, you know, loss, after pain, after suffering. I have a lot of clients. I get by a naturopathic doctor who, as they're doing some physical healing, a lot of past trauma, old wounds and things like that will come up where they need someone to be in their corner as they unpack it and as they choose to make it mean something different now.

00;59;10;19 - 00;59;31;01
Lunden Souza
And but yeah, I think really the, the main thing is knowing you're meant for more, knowing you want to expand and stretch, but not wanting to do it alone and not you know, wanting someone there to help them see the water when they're the fish, to push them to be more of who they say they want to be, get more of that clarity.

00;59;31;04 - 00;59;50;28
Lunden Souza
And so, yeah, men, women of all ages and all walks of life, you know, some are holding the fort down at home and some of them are run teams and and teams and organizations and they're in their job. I have one client who, like every time we work together for like a three or six month period, she gets a promotion.

00;59;51;04 - 01;00;10;11
Lunden Souza
She's like, Here we go. All of a sudden I get this email that wants me to lead more teams and have more responsibilities. So I think too, when we start to see that that personal growth leads to like, impact. Kind of exciting and addicting, maybe. Or like, once you see it, once you pop, you can't stop like, Pringles.

01;00;10;16 - 01;00;21;29
Lunden Souza
It's like once you realize the power of opening up a little bit more, getting more clear on who you want to be, rewriting some of these stories from pain and to purpose, you just kind of keep going.

01;00;22;04 - 01;00;38;28
Mike DiZio
You want to keep leveling up, right? It's exciting. It's like getting a new, I don't know, engine piece on your car and you can go so much faster, you know, like, let's let's go. I love it. I love it. So we're coming to the end of the podcast. Thank you again so much for being here. I just want to ask you a couple more things.

01;00;39;05 - 01;00;48;19
Mike DiZio
So you have a two day seminar coming up on February 3rd and fourth. Yeah, I'm hoping we'll get this recording out before the event, but if not, there'll be a recorded version, I imagine.

01;00;48;25 - 01;01;06;26
Lunden Souza
Okay, so no, for that particular event, it's in person and you get it from putting your physical body there. There's a book I read by Steven Prescott putting your ass where your heart wants to be. So this particular event is like in the flesh or you're not there, which is no problem. We'll probably we'll probably do more of them in the future.

01;01;06;26 - 01;01;28;29
Lunden Souza
But waste of impact is what it's called. It's two days learning where your communication patterns might have come from, how to use them as your superpower, practicing them in front of people and just ways to, yeah, amplify your influence that's happening February 3rd and fourth in Grand Junction, Colorado. If this happens to air later on, you can just get connected on my website life like London dot com.

01;01;28;29 - 01;01;54;23
Lunden Souza
And if we do another one that's closer to you or it works out for you, you can. I have a feeling it'll be the first of many voice of impact events that we do, but that one's just in person online. I do my one on one coaching. Yeah, just like this on Zoom. How you and I are just connecting video chat from there and then I have my podcast like self-love and sweat the podcast where people can listen and get connected.

01;01;54;29 - 01;02;03;00
Lunden Souza
So there's a variety depending on where people are and what they're ready for in person Online, a hybrid of both. I like both.

01;02;03;00 - 01;02;15;08
Mike DiZio
And lastly, before you go, can you share a tool or a strategy or a mindset? I know you shared so much already today and this has been wonderful. Is there anything you want to leave with our audience or anything? We didn't cover that you'd like to share.

01;02;15;10 - 01;02;35;24
Lunden Souza
Shine Bright, Don't day in your life. Don't play small, Don't hide to make other people comfortable. That's kind of what I'm working through on my own too. So I'll preach from the choir is just like YOLO, for lack of better ways to say it. But truthfully, we don't know how much longer we have on this planet or what that looks like.

01;02;35;24 - 01;02;41;15
Lunden Souza
So like, don't play small, say the thing, do the thing. Go after the dream.

01;02;41;17 - 01;02;58;02
Mike DiZio
Shine bright while that beautiful way to finish line. And thank you so much And we'll put all your information in the show notes for people to contact if they like to work with you. But again, I just want to thank everyone for being here today. I learned a lot and I'm sure our audience is really going to like this song as well.

01;02;58;02 - 01;02;59;13
Mike DiZio
So thank you so much.

01;02;59;16 - 01;03;01;10
Lunden Souza
Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

01;03;01;12 - 01;03;02;23
Mike DiZio
Okay, Lunden, Thank you.