00;00;00;00 - 00;00;20;29
Mike
Welcome back. Personal Development School podcast listeners and viewers. Thank you for being here. And today I'm going to focus on kind of like an end of the year video. I know we did one with the group the other day. This will probably come out a few days after 2024. But our topic today is kind of my own personal learnings and growth.

00;00;20;29 - 00;00;43;09
Mike
I just want to share with you. And I think, you know, they'll be interesting for people to hear about and learn through my own mistake and my experiences and my journey. Hopefully there's some things that you can apply to your journey as well. So without further ado, our topic today is the six biggest lessons or learnings that I had from 2023.

00;00;43;11 - 00;01;12;25
Mike
So we will get right into it. I'll start with learning or lesson number one, and that is the lessening of attachments. So sometimes we cling a lot to things that we've bought, things that we, you know, we bought a house if we bought in car electronics, things like that. Really, we need to realize that these things are just they're just things and they don't last forever.

00;01;12;25 - 00;01;41;11
Mike
And they might break, they might malfunction, they might get stolen. There's just so many things that can happen to some of the things that we acquire in our lives. And basically, this came about because probably only about three weeks ago I misplaced my laptop and a new cell phone that I had acquired. And in the past, this would have sent me over the edge and I would have been very upset and it would have ruined my whole week or month.

00;01;41;13 - 00;02;13;18
Mike
But I just thought to myself, you know, a computer can be replaced, a cell phone can be replaced. There's really no reason to be in resistance to reality. It happened. It's gone. You're not getting it back. So we have two choices. We can focus on solutions and, you know, getting a new laptop or getting a new phone, or we can stay in resistance to what's already happened and, you know, really fight it and be in victim mentality and just really.

00;02;13;18 - 00;02;40;29
Mike
Yeah, be upset at the world. And why me? Why did this happen? So it was a good learning lesson of just, you know, letting go. And it's like, yes, there was a bit of a financial loss. I had to buy a new laptop. Actually, something really interesting came of that, which was I had a one week vacation booked and the timing of losing it was good in the sense that I didn't need to get a new laptop right away.

00;02;41;00 - 00;03;01;05
Mike
I didn't have work the next day or that day that I needed to attend to, but I did have this one week vacation, and what it forced me to do is to be very present during the vacation. I didn't have my laptop. I know I would have been checking in with emails and social media at work and doing a few other work related things.

00;03;01;07 - 00;03;31;19
Mike
I just know myself and I know previous vacations. I will still work a little bit, you know, just checking in here and there. But really that whole week I got to be off technology and just completely present and resting and relaxing and recuperating. And it was really, really peaceful. And I felt very rejuvenated after and happy to come back and serve, you know, the personal development school, the peoples, the members, and just get back into my work.

00;03;31;21 - 00;03;56;10
Mike
So I almost think it happened to as a lesson, you know, sometimes we need to just disconnect completely and just try to see the good in it and not be in resistance or reality. It happened so over with. Let's move on. And you know, now it's a distant memory so you can apply that to any area in your life when things aren't going your way, when something bad happens or a negative experience.

00;03;56;16 - 00;04;17;04
Mike
Just try your best to maybe just stop, mourn it, be upset for a little bit, but don't sort of fall into the trap and the whole of being. You know, this is the worst thing that ever happened. Why me? Because it can really rob you of some good moments and happiness. So try to lessen attachments to physical things.

00;04;17;05 - 00;04;42;25
Mike
They come and go. They are replaceable. Yeah, that was learning lesson number one. So lesson number two from 2023 was and I talked about this with the group, but I'll just mention it briefly. Again, the best way out of a bad situation is just to make the best of it. So there was a point where I was kind of stuck in my home country of Canada.

00;04;42;28 - 00;05;01;24
Mike
And by stuck meaning I was forced to be there longer than I wanted to. I really wanted to come back to Mexico, and especially because winter was approaching, I wanted to be warm. And since I've been living in Mexico for the past two years, my body really doesn't like the cold much anymore. It's kind of been getting that way the last few years, even living in Canada.

00;05;01;24 - 00;05;19;18
Mike
But now for sure, like the cold, I do not enjoy the cold, so I was forced to stay a little bit longer. I was supposed to be there maybe two months and I was there for four months. So when I found out I was going to have to be there longer after the two months, I was pretty bummed out and really like upset.

00;05;19;18 - 00;05;37;01
Mike
And I was kind of getting into Why me? Why is this happening? And, you know, worst case scenario thinking, what if I don't get to go back for a long time? What if I have to spend the whole winter here, etc., etc.? It really wasn't until I said, you know, this is the situation. You're going to be here longer than you expect.

00;05;37;04 - 00;05;56;29
Mike
You're not sure how much longer, but you have two choices. You can be here and be a super miserable, super unhappy and just focusing on how bad life is or you can make the best of it and you can incorporate the routines and the things that you know, kind of make you happy and bring you bring you in a better state.

00;05;57;01 - 00;06;24;23
Mike
For example, I joined a gym temporarily. I kind of reactivated an old meet up account and I created a few meet ups for people to come together so that met my need for social connection, reconnected with some old friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. And yeah, it was just basically like that alone kind of lifted my mood and sort of my vibration and then kind of good things were just happening while I was there.

00;06;24;23 - 00;06;45;14
Mike
I was feeling more connected and closer to people and just having fun. So I know I would have just really lived in that, you know, Victim Why me? Why is this happening? How much longer do I have to be here? You know, I would have been miserable and maybe fallen into depression, but I really made that conscious choice of, you know what?

00;06;45;16 - 00;07;10;19
Mike
This is where this is what's happening. And I know that if I really consciously choose things while I'm here that are in my best, my highest interest, my highest good, that this will be a period that will be not only just bearable, but actually like fun and enjoyable and not seen as like a torture. So that was interesting.

00;07;10;19 - 00;07;35;16
Mike
So now, now, you know, if I get into situations in the future, I know that I can sort of lessen the resistance by bringing in. You can always bring in things that make you feel a bit better during those times that are just, you know, less than ideal. So that was helpful. Lesson number three out of six, there is no perfect geographical location and and home is where you make it.

00;07;35;18 - 00;07;59;03
Mike
So one of the things I've been doing for the past two years is traveling all around Mexico trying to find a place that I want to call home and plant some roots and maybe buy a property and just really start to, you know, develop a life and routines and community and stuff like that. And, you know, I spent a lot of time going to a lot of different places.

00;07;59;06 - 00;08;20;18
Mike
And number one, Mexico's a beautiful country that has some really, really beautiful gems and wonderful, wonderful people. But, you know, I was looking for a place that was perfect. You know how down to perfect nature that I love to have that have the perfect climate and out of the perfect amount of food options for me because I tend to eat out a lot.

00;08;20;21 - 00;08;49;28
Mike
So I was kind of chasing around and looking for all these perfect ideal geographical and like physical things, but really you can make it work almost anywhere. I believe it's just more about mindset and attitude and bringing the things to you that you like. So if you move to a location and there is no, I don't know, there's no meditation group and you used to go to one and you used to get a lot out of it.

00;08;50;01 - 00;09;12;14
Mike
Then you be the one who starts the meditation group and invite people, because I guarantee you this, people out there who probably would love to connect that way. But you know, they also see that it's not happening. So they just think, you know, there's there's no meditation groups in town. So there's a lot of things that you can bring to your environment and connecting with with people.

00;09;12;15 - 00;09;29;20
Mike
It's easy to see a place and be like, I don't know if this place is for me, but then when you start connecting with the people, you get a lot more out of it. You get a lot more connection, the intimate, you get to socialize and great people and just learn and grow. And you know, you learn from people all over.

00;09;29;22 - 00;09;51;26
Mike
I still haven't brushed it completely yet, but I'm starting to get to the point now where I'm seeing that you can you can pick a place and really create an amazing life for yourself. And really nothing is permanent. You know, sometimes I can fall for black and white thinking, being like, okay, whatever place I choose, this is the place I'm going to be for the rest of my life.

00;09;51;26 - 00;10;17;00
Mike
But that's, you know, who knows? You try it out, you see it, people don't like it after a couple of years, and that's fine. Move on and try another place. But I think you have to give some place a chance. And sometimes places take a while to to grow into. So basically you're always on the move. You're not going to develop deeper bonds with people and community.

00;10;17;02 - 00;10;36;21
Mike
That stuff takes a while. So really you do just have to pick a place and then go with it and give it a little time to grow and nurture and feel like you're more of a part of it. So yeah, I'm looking forward to picking my place soon, but I'm not. I have less anxiety and worry that, what if it's not the right place?

00;10;36;21 - 00;11;02;04
Mike
Because I know I can make it the right place if I need to. Okay, so number four, staying power is so important. So I used to try something out, and if I wasn't good at it right away, I'd get really frustrated and then I would drop it and I would always fall through the limiting belief that you're not meant to be doing this or you're not naturally good at that.

00;11;02;06 - 00;11;21;29
Mike
Well, really, I truly believe whatever you pick. And then if you tell yourself, I'm going to dedicate myself to this and just keep going, I think you get to a successful level because a lot of people are good at things. You know, we just see them. We're like, Wow, they must be so, like, naturally gifted in this area.

00;11;22;01 - 00;11;46;05
Mike
But really, they've put in hours and hours and hours and days and months and years even Like the gym is a good example. Like I used to go to the gym and then I'd workout for like, I don't know, periods of like two, three, four months. And, you know, I look around the gym and I can just see these massive swole looking guys, and I'd be like, my God, I don't think my body can make muscle like that.

00;11;46;05 - 00;12;03;11
Mike
So I just feel like, Screw it, I'm done. I'm not getting any where I want to get. But really, if you talk to those people, they've been running the gym for like a decade for like a long, long time, and they've made it sort of a lifestyle. It's not just on a whim. They're like, I want to get big and then go for a few months.

00;12;03;11 - 00;12;33;16
Mike
And then that's the result. Yeah, I'm just recognizing that staying power is so big and it takes a while to get breakthroughs and hit different plateaus. But the people who are successful are just the people who make that conscious choice and say, You know what, I'm going to do this and I'm going to keep going for, you know, maybe they pick a period, a period of a year and then kind of reevaluate and see where they're at and see if they need to pivot or change course a little bit.

00;12;33;16 - 00;12;58;27
Mike
But guaranteed, if you apply yourself to something, you know, for a longer period of time, six months to a year plus, you're going to rise above a lot of people in that area who are not focused in that area. I know that sounds kind of obvious, but for the people out there who that resonates with, where quitting too early or just stopping was not for me and not good at this, I think that's a false belief.

00;12;59;02 - 00;13;29;12
Mike
I think it's maybe you just don't like what you're doing enough or don't enjoy that because really, if you're trying to do something that you're just not enjoying whatsoever, yeah, you're going to sabotage it and probably quit it early too. If you know, you set in your head, I want to run a marathon. This is just for some reason you're like, I feel like running a marathon would be really amazing, but then you just cannot stand running like you're just not liking every minute of it and it's not fun and you just can't wait till it's over.

00;13;29;14 - 00;13;52;23
Mike
Yeah, you're probably not going to make it and or become like a high level marathon runner. But if you choose something that you're at least interested in and you enjoy and you find gratifying, then that you're going to be able to, you know, stay with that definitely a lot longer. So basically, you know, you want to choose goals that are in alignment with your values, your needs.

00;13;52;25 - 00;14;12;13
Mike
And it's something that when you think about kind of gives you a buzz. And, you know, when you think about the end product or what it would look like if you excelled in that area, just thinking about or visualizing it gives you like a really nice feeling, then definitely that's something you should explore and look forward to and give it a go.

00;14;12;15 - 00;14;38;03
Mike
So staying power super important, that's what helps you grow. And you know, good things take time. So Rome wasn't built in a day. I know that's the most cliche thing ever, but it's true. So staying power and number five, abundance is a mindset. So, you know, we always hear about abundance. And when I was younger, I always think, I want to be abundant.

00;14;38;10 - 00;15;01;12
Mike
The only thought that popped in my head was having lots of money. Abundance is just having an abundance of cash and being able to spend it. Do whatever you want. However, what I've realized and what's helping me and as I'm seeing firsthand abundance come in, is recognizing your abundance in all areas of life. Abundance is the opposite of lack.

00;15;01;12 - 00;15;25;05
Mike
So if I look at where I'm lacking and where I'm abundant in, there's so many areas I have so much abundance. And if I focus on that and show, you know, point out what I have and have appreciation for it, it just sort of grows in all the areas. So, for example, like these are just small examples of abundance, like an abundance of food that I get to eat.

00;15;25;05 - 00;15;53;24
Mike
I, I'm fortunate enough to never ever have to like, miss a meal. I have an abundance of family care. I have an abundance of ability to walk anywhere I walk. So I crazy amounts and I walk all over the place exploring. There's an abundance of nature that I get to enjoy and experience and feel there's an abundance of experiences.

00;15;53;26 - 00;16;20;07
Mike
The list goes on and on. But when you look at the abundance in your life, a lot of times we feel like we're lacking, but we're just lacking. Maybe like our bank account isn't huge. So but if you look around at the other areas of your life, you could be really abundant. A lot of friends, a lot of family, a lot of I don't know, I'm drawing blanks now, but you really have to look at so many different areas and just take inventory of where in your life you're abundant.

00;16;20;09 - 00;16;50;19
Mike
Because once you start to focus on that, it sort of creates an overall feeling of fullness and, you know, the opposite of lack. And when we feel full and we feel like we're taking care of and that we have so much, then that's sort of the dominant what comes forward in our reality. And what we notice. And, you know, obviously if you're thinking more in an abundance mentality that's going to do, you serve you a lot better than if you're thinking in a lack mentality.

00;16;50;19 - 00;17;15;13
Mike
You know, the more like you think of, the more like you're going to get, the more abundance you focus on, the more abundance grows. So look at abundance in all the areas of your life and look where you where you don't have lack because there's probably so many areas that you're not really not really paying attention to. We tend to just look at money, but look at all the different areas where you have this.

00;17;15;16 - 00;17;52;25
Mike
And number six, avoiding uncomfortable things comes at a price, and we should all not wish for a life of ease. Those aren't my words, but there is a book and I wish I remember the name of it, but it's that was the general idea is like we shouldn't wish for a life of ease and never have any challenges or setbacks or problems, because really those are the things that help us evolve, help us grow, help us build resilience, help us be able to teach other people from experience how to not make the mistakes that we made.

00;17;52;28 - 00;18;19;20
Mike
There's just so many positive things that come out of life's challenges. Of course, you don't want to have, you know, problems and challenges all day, every day. That's going to be, you know, pretty tough to manage, but to have these challenges and setbacks and tough times really actually build character and help you for next time when something similar happens here, much better equipped to deal with it.

00;18;19;20 - 00;18;45;12
Mike
What was interesting I mentioned there. Yeah, avoiding uncomfortable things comes at a price. So as we know, I've been deployed in most of my life, but I'm trying more to be at least a little more communicative and not looking at, you know, communicating as conflict as just like sharing your inner world with someone. So, yeah, avoiding, you know, conflict or never saying anything to anyone like that comes at a price.

00;18;45;12 - 00;19;05;21
Mike
You're going to probably have this stay within you and build up resentment towards certain people. Yeah, just the avoidance of it really doesn't doesn't help you. It doesn't help the other person who might not know they're doing something that's, you know, hurtful to you. And if they're a good friend, you know, they don't want to want to hurt you or upset you.

00;19;05;21 - 00;19;39;11
Mike
So avoiding uncomfortable conversations is actually detrimental. I kind of want to lean into those things and you want to have that knowing and confidence that actually sharing those things is what builds a deeper relationship and more intimacy, because you're not hiding parts of yourself from the other. You're actually sharing the full spectrum of what's going on inside for you, not just like the good things, the positive, happy person that you think you know you need to be all the time.

00;19;39;11 - 00;20;05;10
Mike
People really respect and show care and want to step up for people who are being honest and authentic and have that confidence to speak up for their needs. I know obviously not everyone had their needs met and in childhood this didn't always happen. So, you know, it might seem like asking for your needs to be met or sharing something vulnerable with someone you know.

00;20;05;10 - 00;20;27;16
Mike
You may be scared. It might be met with negativity or anger or a bad reaction, but just try slowly but surely, because what happened in the past doesn't mean what's going to happen in the future. And through sort of small steps and exposure response, you can see how communicating and going out of your comfort zone is actually positive.

00;20;27;16 - 00;20;51;10
Mike
And generally you'll feel good after for doing it any time. I know I when I stretch my comfort zone, I'm the result. Might not be perfect, but the fact that you did the brave act of stretching yourself and doing something that isn't your norm is a win to me. And you know, we should strive to keep doing that as much as we can.

00;20;51;12 - 00;21;12;26
Mike
So I joke around, I say, my whole life is uncomfortable zone. Like I feel like I've had so many moments where I'm uncomfortable and sometimes they get easier and sometimes they don't. But I'm going to keep trying. Even with this podcast, like I wasn't a podcaster before and now I'm doing it now and trying to get better each time or comfortable each time.

00;21;12;28 - 00;21;45;06
Mike
And yeah, I'm blessed to be able to do it. So try to stretch your comfort zone in 2024. That's how you grow. If we stay comfortable, unfortunately, we're we're not going to be growing too much. And then when something does come unexpected, it's going to be like really hard to deal with because, you know, imagine you're lying in your comfy bed and everything's perfect and somebody comes in, shakes you and says there's a fire or there's an earthquake that's going to just get a really jarring you, you know, from your comfortable little bed.

00;21;45;08 - 00;22;07;01
Mike
Yeah, I don't know if that was the best analogy, but we'll go with that. Okay. So yeah, that was my sort of 2023 lessons, four things that I learned invite you to sort of do an inventory and, and look at a few things that you might have learned or gain or some new perspectives that were helpful for you can share in the comments or send us an email.

00;22;07;01 - 00;22;31;01
Mike
You can send me an email if you want, like the personal development school dot com. There are many questions or comments or ideas for content or podcasts. Yeah, I look forward to 2020 for figuring out some new exciting cool stuff to bring to you. So if you listen so far, I'm really happy and I hope to connect more with you and the community in 2024.

00;22;31;03 - 00;22;39;06
Mike
And thank you all for being here and listening today and we'll see you next time. And as always, best of luck on your healing journey.