00;00;00;00 - 00;00;19;11
Mike
It's a it's nurturing relationship with yourself. Just as you nurture a relationship with someone else, with your romantic relationship. Does your partner need flowers? Like I'm sure they're going to survive without flowers. Do they need you to take them out on a date once in a while? These things are not something that you need to do, but it's something that makes them feel good.
And you want to show them their appreciation. So we just need to flip that to ourselves as well.

00;00;25;26 - 00;01;01;23
Thais
Hello and welcome to the Personal Development School Podcast. I am so excited you are here. I am your co-host, Titus Gibson, along with our new special host, Mike Vizio. This is a podcast the discusses everything related to integrated attachment theory, the new attachment theory along with the subconscious mind relationships, communication needs boundaries and so much more. Throughout this podcast, you'll see a series of episodes I upload with new information, educational tips, all about how to thrive in relationships and really master your emotional state in your life.
Along with special guests hosted by Mike Zito to discuss all of these amazing topics into the longer form content. Thank you so much for being here and I really hope you enjoy this episode.

00;01;18;14 - 00;01;40;02
Mike
Welcome back, PDS listeners and viewers, back to our podcast. We have another great one for you today. So today we're doing something a little bit different. It's kind of like a holiday edition and we're going to teach you basically this is based on Tice's work. At the end of each year. It's really good to do a little bit of a check on sort of how far you've come and some of those things that you've gone through through the year.

00;01;40;04 - 00;01;58;18
Mike
So we thought today we'd go through this. Any questions that you can ask yourself this New Year's Eve? So I'm here today with Peter and Kate, my esteemed colleagues, and we're going to share these seven questions with you that are very introspective and will give you a lot of clarity on sort of where you've been and maybe where you want to go.

00;01;58;20 - 00;02;15;22
Mike
So we're going to share those questions with you and then we're going to answer some of those questions just to sort of do a bit of a sweep on our own lives and sort of see how far we've come. So hopefully you find this interesting and definitely encourage you to try it as well and see sort of what's come up for you.

00;02;15;25 - 00;02;21;06
Mike
So I'll just start out maybe just a round of introductions for Peter. Do you want to go first? Introduce yourself?

00;02;21;06 - 00;02;43;26
Peter
Peter Sure. I everybody, my name's Peter. I am normally the guy who edits these podcasts, so I'm very much a behind the scenes person. So it's kind of interesting to be on camera. I, like I say about my personal development journey really started when I started working for a personal development school, and I took the test to find out that I am secure leaning, dismiss it.

00;02;43;28 - 00;02;49;21
Peter
So maybe that's why I haven't done much of a personal development journey yet.

00;02;49;23 - 00;02;55;19
Cait
So I was so curious. I was like, I wonder what Peter has said. It's now.

00;02;55;20 - 00;03;00;03
Mike
My system. And yeah, thanks for being here. Peter and Kate. Go on, introduce yourself.

00;03;00;10 - 00;03;20;12
Cait
Yeah. So I'm Kate. I've been a student with the personal development school band employee, and then I coach as well. So I've been in the personal development realm for a little while and I am earning secure. But my test results were cheerful boy when I first started.

00;03;20;14 - 00;03;41;23
Mike
Thanks for being here. And we fortunately, the three of us, along with a couple of other people, get to have a weekly meeting together and we sort of share Peter thoughts and feelings and answer these types of questions as well. So this is a treat to kind of get to do this on the podcast. So to start out with, our first question that we encourage you to ask yourself is the end of the year?

00;03;41;25 - 00;04;00;10
Mike
And it's what were you grateful for this year? Things like what you've learned this year, maybe a lack of a relationship that didn't serve you any longer, a powerful life lesson, career growth, maybe you changed your career, so pick really anything that sticks out for you. So I'll open it for Peter or Kate, whoever wants to jump in.

00;04;00;12 - 00;04;02;07
Mike
What were you grateful for this year?

00;04;02;10 - 00;04;23;13
Cait
I'm happy to serve. So I actually took on a new challenge of every night, writing three things that I'm grateful for and it's a really interesting exercise that anybody wants to try that in the New Year. It's just writing those three things and then looking back at the end of the year to kind of determine what can shoot up the most.

00;04;23;13 - 00;04;45;14
Cait
And for me it was some of my closest friends that I speak with daily. So they came up a lot, obviously because they're in my life a lot. And then the fact that I have a part came up and then also just more creative pursuits like dancing, drawing, going for walks, going to a good coffee shop. Those were really simple pleasures that I was grateful for.

00;04;45;19 - 00;04;49;26
Cait
Simple, but just something that I noticed came up consistently.

00;04;49;28 - 00;05;03;07
Mike
Yeah, I know. It's those simple sort of daily things that you get to enjoy that add up to the whole year feeling, you know, a big sense of appreciation. So those are those are great ones for sure. Peter, do you want to share what you're grateful for this year?

00;05;03;07 - 00;05;24;16
Peter
Absolutely. With the little things, because it's the everyday experience. Like if you wait for the big things to be grateful for, you're just constantly waiting to be grateful. My big thing this year was my cats. I actually adopted three kittens and I've had cats before, but I went for a period with with no animals and I didn't realize how much I needed them in my life.

00;05;24;19 - 00;05;43;12
Peter
And the wonderful things about kittens is they force you to be in the moment. So it doesn't matter what I'm doing. If they need something, they want something. You have to be there. Even just taking a break from work. Now, when I leave the room I work in, they work from home. The cats will often run to me for affection.

00;05;43;14 - 00;05;54;15
Peter
And there's just that moment of I have to stop what I'm doing at them and I just have to be there. And it's changed the pace of my workday and in the best possible way.

00;05;54;18 - 00;06;15;02
Mike
I love it. I couldn't think of a better distraction than three kittens. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing. And for myself, I would say this is going to sound cliche, but I'm going to say family. And I'm going to say that because I've been away for a couple of years as you guys know, traveling around Mexico. And I came home for a period of four months.

00;06;15;02 - 00;06;33;04
Mike
I was actually supposed to only be home for two months, but it ended up being four months and I guess not See, me and my family were not the super closest, but not having seen them for two years, being home in that short period of time. It was such quality of time together rather than in quantity. So, you know, it's really true what they say.

00;06;33;04 - 00;06;52;20
Mike
It's, you know, you appreciate what you don't have when you don't have it or, you know, after the fact. You're like, wow, I had a really good thing that. So I think having that time away and then being back with them really showed me that, you know, I appreciate them and they appreciate me. So, yeah, I'm going to go to easy one with family for sure.

00;06;52;22 - 00;07;10;25
Mike
Okay. So question number two. And again, we encourage you to ask this to yourself as well. And that is what were some of the hardest challenges you faced? So in doing this, you know, you want to validate yourself. It's okay if you felt really challenged or were struggling a lot this year. A lot of people did. And change can be really tough.

00;07;10;25 - 00;07;33;01
Mike
Some people had to go through a lot of different changes. So, you know, it's just important to list any big challenges that came up for you this year. And again, validate that it was tough and it's not something that was easy, but this is something that happened. So, you know, a little bit more serious question. But Peter or Kate, do you want to jump in there, any challenges or anything you had to face this year?

00;07;33;04 - 00;08;01;29
Peter
I'll I'll jump in here. The single biggest thing was my wife had a serious health scare at the end of last year. So thankfully it worked out and she's fine. But there was the beginning of the year in particular. There was some mental health issues as a result of that. And it was a combination of, you know, she went through a lot, but then I had to go through a lot because figuring out how do I support her properly and, you know, kind of adjusting my lifestyle to to her needs for a while.

00;08;02;01 - 00;08;22;17
Peter
And then on top of that, she learned recently that she's got ADHD and this late in life where late forties, it was eye opening. It's amazing how much it's affected her. And in the process of her learning about things, I learned about things and realizing, you know, what I was doing that was helping what I was doing that wasn't helping.

00;08;22;19 - 00;08;39;15
Peter
And I've learned a lot about myself through the intention of trying to help her and and the challenge of how do I actually put what I've learned into practice, because it's so easy to learn something but then fall into old habits. The single biggest thing is like, how do I become a better husband?

00;08;39;17 - 00;08;54;28
Mike
Well, thanks for sharing that, Peter. That's definitely sounds challenging. And, you know, I hope things are getting better with your partner and definitely lucky to have a person like you. So that's that's really great. Kate, you want to share the challenge that you had this year?

00;08;55;00 - 00;09;16;25
Cait
Yeah, my I guess I'm kind of in one, so I am in the process of learned my lessons from it. And I'm because I'm so immersed in kind of the personal development realm, my friend said to stop being be like, Hey, stop trying to analyze this until you're 31. Why wait? I just need to figure out what the lesson is.

00;09;16;28 - 00;09;41;21
Cait
Yeah, basically, currently I guess I'm going through a move and I recently had a loss in my family at the same time, and I'm really learning in that process. I saw something that in an email actually that I received recently that was you learn who you can lean on when you need support, and the first person that you should think of is yourself.

00;09;41;24 - 00;10;09;10
Cait
And that's something that I guess I'm kind of learning through this process is like I have people around me who are willing to help and and willing to support me. Though at the end of the day, like I need to be there to support myself. So I've really been leaning on one, the tools that I know submission, regulation, eating, sleep, being drinking water, having supplement and stock kind of stuff to just make sure that my body can kind of one in three what's what's happening right now as well.

00;10;09;13 - 00;10;32;02
Cait
And yeah, I think that that's much different than how I would have handled it in the past. I really am doing my best not to slip into victim mentality and to really just be like, what can I control? And I think that was probably the biggest lesson that I've learned through the challenges this year is just to be like what is within my control?

00;10;32;02 - 00;10;44;05
Cait
And a lot of that is letting go of how other people are acting, how like what is happening around you, things that you just really don't have a whole lot of influence over.

00;10;44;07 - 00;10;57;21
Mike
So yeah, that's mine. Sounds like you're handling it as best as possible. So fact you're still trying to take care of yourself while you're going through this. You said, you know, drinking water, getting enough rest and stuff like that or, you know, today.

00;10;57;24 - 00;11;16;04
Cait
I was you'll see me drinking water doing this. Yeah. All of my stuff is taken down around me. So I was trying to find that background and I'm like, I have nothing. So it's it's an interesting it's an interesting period to be in right before the end of the year. But I think it's just kind of a good place to be for fresh starts.

00;11;16;10 - 00;11;17;00
Cait
So.

00;11;17;02 - 00;11;18;05
Mike
Yeah, for sure.

00;11;18;07 - 00;11;41;06
Peter
Care of yourself is is everything. It's like the oxygen mask on the airplane. Got to put on yourself before you put on someone else. On that note, I would say as somebody who comes in and works for personal development school just a couple of days a week, I'm amazed at how supportive personal development school has been. It's been unlike any other employer I've ever worked for in terms of supportive for those listening.

00;11;41;06 - 00;11;51;25
Peter
If you don't know personal about the school, the people there, in my experience, walk the walk for all of the talking of the talk that they do. And it's been very impressive.

00;11;51;28 - 00;12;07;23
Mike
I said, we try our best. It's been great having you on board. And you know, you said you came from a background with not much personal development in it and you know, when you share with us in our small groups, I learned stuff from you and you share things that sound very evolved, are like you've done personal human work.

00;12;07;23 - 00;12;34;13
Mike
So I'm glad, though, you've learned to learn a lot with us. And yeah, we keep trying to grow and evolve ourselves while we're at this company, so it's pretty cool. Great point. Okay, just to share my challenge this year was in I was selling my first property that I had ever bought and then had to sell. The sale went sideways and then there was a lot of challenge and I was only supposed to be back in Canada for two months.

00;12;34;13 - 00;12;51;24
Mike
And yeah, the reason I was here for four months was because this house sale was sort of going sideways and yeah, I was getting into victim mentality and say, Why me and when is this going to end? And I thought I was going to have to spend winter in Canada. We all know about winter in Canada. If you can avoid it, that's a lot better.

00;12;51;26 - 00;13;05;29
Mike
And the next question I got to talk about sort of what you learned and how you grew from it. So I won't get into sort of how I how I learned from it, but I just wanted to share that. Yeah, that was the really big challenge at the time. I just really felt like, why me? Why is this happening?

00;13;06;02 - 00;13;22;28
Mike
This isn't fair. And I was getting really, really sort of down on myself, so it was a little bit of a lower period. But stay tuned and I'll, I'll share with you sort of how I mitigated it and how it ended up being a positive. So that was my challenge for the year.

00;13;23;01 - 00;13;25;04
Cait
So we jumped ahead.

00;13;25;06 - 00;13;51;27
Mike
Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. So question number three shots yourself is what did this year's challenges teach you? And I know both you kind of touched on that a little bit, but maybe I'll ask you if you could expand a little more and, you know, when you're asking yourself this question, you want to ask kind of what did they teach you about yourself, about your life or what lessons were there for you to see after and when we can extract the lessons from a big challenge, we can heal faster and more efficiently.

00;13;51;27 - 00;14;13;17
Mike
It's actually shown, you know, when you can actually pluck out the good things and how you grew and what you learned. You're going to sort of lesson that period of being so like impactful, the challenge that you faced. So let's talk about how we grew and how we learned. What did this year's challenges teach you, Peter or Kate?

00;14;13;19 - 00;14;16;17
Mike
All right, you can go first. And so I just talked about, right?

00;14;16;19 - 00;14;23;02
Peter
Yeah. Yeah. You left this on a cliffhanger. Yeah, I've heard the bad stuff. What was the good stuff that came out of it? Yeah.

00;14;23;06 - 00;14;44;11
Mike
So while I was there selling the house because it was away from home and away from family, it wasn't until that I just really accepted the situation, said, You know what? I'm healthy right now. I have a roof over my head every night. I have food. It wasn't I accepted the situation and said, okay, I'm probably going to be here a lot longer than I expected.

00;14;44;14 - 00;15;02;15
Mike
So then I just started introducing the things into my life that I know make me happy. So I joined a local gym there. I went to a couple of meetup groups. I was hanging out with people that I hadn't seen in a long time. So really it wasn't until I really surrendered to like acceptance of This is what's happening, this is where we're at.

00;15;02;17 - 00;15;23;29
Mike
You could either make the best of the situation or you can sit there and really complain and say, Why me? Why me? And really just that shift of choosing to accept this is where things are. And it actually became a really pleasurable last few months. And I got to meet some amazing people and got in pretty good shape two months at the gym.

00;15;24;02 - 00;15;53;05
Mike
So what it sort of taught me was the importance of kind of resilience, just still being able to be okay within a not ideal situation. So it just showed me that you know what you're going to there's going to be situations in your life that are not ideal, but you could either make it, you know, really painful and suffer on it, or you can just make the best of it and kind of surrender that this is where things are at right now.

00;15;53;07 - 00;16;01;00
Mike
So that's kind of what I learned in that lesson. Nice. So, yeah. What did this year's challenges teach you guys? Anything about what you shared?

00;16;01;00 - 00;16;23;25
Peter
Before I go, I learned I guess it was it was two things. One was asking for help. I didn't think I had a problem asking for help, but I was in a situation where I had no choice. I wasn't capable of doing everything I needed to do on my own and it was amazing how how understanding and how supportive people were in actionable items.

00;16;23;25 - 00;16;44;23
Peter
That makes sense. It wasn't just somebody saying, Hey, let me know if you need something. People went out of their way to do things for me. Make accommodations work wise, my schedule had to shift and client after client after client was totally understanding about my situation. And that was one of those. It hit me like I'm clearly attracting the right kind of clients.

00;16;44;23 - 00;17;04;15
Peter
If everybody understands that when things go sideways and they're willing to accommodate. And then my family was like my family and her family, I had her brothers and sisters and parents reaching out to me to make sure I was okay, which actually leads into my second thing was learning where I had to take care of myself, that self-reliance, that self care.

00;17;04;18 - 00;17;25;09
Peter
I couldn't take care of my wife. 24 seven because I realized I was burning myself out. You know, I had to take time to myself. It was okay for me to disappear into my office for an hour and a half and just watch a movie as an escape to get away. And I had family members like, Do you want us to come by so you can just go for a coffee?

00;17;25;12 - 00;17;46;03
Peter
It was one of those things where just realizing I didn't realize I had done it, but I built up a support network of friends and family that was phenomenal. And I learned and it's something that I still struggle with, making time for myself. I'm very extroverted, I'm very outgoing and and I get a lot of energy from interacting with people.

00;17;46;09 - 00;17;57;10
Peter
But I do need quiet time to myself. And I had trouble asking for that up until this year, realizing, you know, I just need to go somewhere for 2 hours and read and I don't need to feel guilty about that.

00;17;57;13 - 00;18;17;14
Mike
Wow. That's that's massive growth for sure. And just like I myself felt so good, that sort of proof that people are there for you. I know it's scary. I know it's scary for me to ask, you know, for help. But you took the brave step and did it. And just to see how many people stepped up, that must have sort of renewed your faith in people that people actually want to help.

00;18;17;14 - 00;18;43;08
Peter
Yeah, yeah. I'll be very honest. The pandemic, I've always been a very optimistic person and thought the best of humanity. And during the pandemic, my view of human beings shifted radically for the worse. And it's weird that what was probably the worst period in my personal life made me turn around and have faith in human beings again. Men are genuinely good and they want to help other people.

00;18;43;10 - 00;18;45;22
Peter
And I lost that for a couple of years.

00;18;45;24 - 00;18;55;13
Mike
Wow, what a gift. That's amazing. And Kate, did you want to share what the challenges taught you or what did you learned from your challenges?

00;18;55;15 - 00;19;18;18
Cait
Yeah, I think understanding myself, like I'm always kind of looking into things like this in different angles, but yeah, the acceptance portion and how I'm less likely to accept stuff like poor as they are. I'm like, okay, cool, how can I fix that? How can I do something to do that? And some things you kind of just have to let go and surrender, as you mentioned.

00;19;18;18 - 00;19;49;26
Cait
So I really related to that. And I guess also something that I learned very recently when I was kind of struggling with taking action or knowing how to take action or make decisions during periods of high stress, particularly ones that are aligned with my values and like how I want to live my life was being able to identify exactly what the problem is so that you can address it accurately and accordingly.

00;19;49;28 - 00;20;15;23
Cait
So I listened to this fabulous podcast, so I relate to your wife Peter, that I also have ADHD and something that I was like just constantly coming up over and over again with everything that was happening was that I'm overwhelmed and I was just like, okay, I'm I'm experiencing a lot of overwhelm right now. And the way that I'll have to figure out exactly where this resource was because they listen to a podcast every day.

00;20;15;23 - 00;20;37;11
Cait
So it's one of those podcasts. They were basically saying that when you kind of lump the problem into one word that so overwhelm means that you've got a lot on the go, right? And yes, I did, but I feel like it was more of the not knowing what to do. What's the problem, how to take action versus just feeling like you have too much on your plate.

00;20;37;13 - 00;21;02;14
Cait
So once I kind of identified that it was that, then it's like, okay, cool. What action steps do I need to take from that point? So if I don't know what to do, how can I give myself more clarity on what to do and how can I create a sense of certainty in my actions that I can't control those types of things versus just kind of like shutting down and freezing and kind of like going zombie through life?

00;21;02;22 - 00;21;26;17
Cait
So that was a really big lesson. I think that kind of came through fairly recently is just how to address certain things and not always approaching them in the same way that some things have to be approached differently and you really have to kind of fight to what the problem is before trying to take action or trying to fix something because something yeah, you only had so much influence over as I mentioned.

00;21;26;19 - 00;21;27;13
Cait
So yeah.

00;21;27;15 - 00;21;28;12
Mike
Yeah.

00;21;28;15 - 00;21;45;17
Peter
You're talking about overwhelm and that rings so true. Like my wife would say constantly, I'm overwhelmed. And from my point of view, before I realized or we had realized she had ADHD, I didn't understand why are you overwhelmed? She would have a day off with no responsibilities and she would feel overwhelmed. And I was like, What are you talking about?

00;21;45;19 - 00;21;51;04
Peter
And now I have a much better understanding of what that is and how debilitating it can be.

00;21;51;06 - 00;22;14;10
Cait
Yeah, just to like add on to that for what I was saying is essentially, yeah, you might not have a whole bunch of stuff on your plate. And I'm assuming that part of this could also ring true for people who have trauma where if you are trying to figure out if you have a day off and you're sitting there and you don't know how to do that, not knowing kind of puts you in a state of paralysis.

00;22;14;10 - 00;22;30;10
Cait
So then you just feel like you just end up sitting there for the whole day or you'll be like, I'll put on the show, but it's like, I really should be doing something. And then you feel guilty and then it gets worse and then you get stuck. So it's it was that figuring out that piece of what I was dealing with.

00;22;30;15 - 00;22;47;07
Cait
So instead of just being like, Oh, I'm really overwhelmed with everything that's happening right now, it would be that, Oh, I, I don't know. It like I was looking for an apartment at the time and I was like, I don't know if this apartment has this feature or something, right? And it's like, well, you can ask like, you know what it means.

00;22;47;07 - 00;22;57;04
Cait
So it's using communication, using introspection, using curiosity to be able to kind of figure out how to move through those things, I guess. Yeah.

00;22;57;06 - 00;23;15;15
Mike
I just want to touch on the overall one part as well. I feel like I have ADHD as well. I haven't been diagnosed formally, but when I looked at a lot of the symptoms, I feel like I have a lot of them and definitely get overwhelmed sometimes. And outwardly these people are like, Oh Mike, your social, you're so such a you seem like such a calm, peaceful guy.

00;23;15;18 - 00;23;33;11
Mike
But on the inside, sometimes I'm a freakin mess. Really. There's a lot going on in there. But also when I when I find myself comparing myself to others. So I'm like, why am I overwhelmed when I know, like my coworker has a million things on my plate, I know my other coworker is doing X, Y, Z, and so many projects on the go.

00;23;33;14 - 00;23;55;25
Mike
I think when I first started at the company, I was judging myself for feeling overwhelmed. But I know that my version of overwhelmed was going to be so much different than someone else's. So really, if you're feeling that overwhelmed, don't don't judge yourself. That's probably one of the worst things you can do. And Peter was saying about his wife, we can't judge other people for feeling overwhelmed because we might look at them and be like, What do you mean?

00;23;55;25 - 00;24;15;20
Mike
You have like one thing to do today, But if you're really to talk to them and dig deep, you'd find out sort of the internal processes going on. And you know, there's trauma and there's things going on there. So just we got to be definitely gentle with ourselves if we're feeling overwhelmed. And you don't have to be the CEO of a company to feel mass overwhelmed.

00;24;15;22 - 00;24;31;22
Peter
Yeah, I know. And the judgment I think is a huge thing. It certainly doesn't help the situation. It doesn't make things better. But it's really easy to just say, well, don't judge yourself. So it's that matter of figuring out how do you get equity? And that's that's an ongoing battle. Well.

00;24;31;24 - 00;24;32;18
Mike
Absolutely.

00;24;32;20 - 00;24;39;14
Cait
I agree with that. I think the validation piece to you of just understanding yourself and where you're coming from. So that, too.

00;24;39;16 - 00;25;04;26
Mike
For sure. Okay. I think we all resonated with that question there. So. Question four of your year end inventory, what are you proud of? So is there anything that sort of jumps out in your mind? And just for our viewers, some things you can think of when you're asking? You know, we tend to minimize or not really acknowledge how much we've overcome, how we've grown from our challenges, and that a lot of times we don't look back to see how much we've learned and grown.

00;25;04;29 - 00;25;14;11
Mike
So you definitely want to see, hey, what could I do now that I couldn't do last year? So can you guys think of anything that you're proud of in 2023?

00;25;14;13 - 00;25;42;03
Peter
I always think back to one of my clients is more on a motivational speaker, and he had a quote I heard four years ago, and it stayed in my head and it was always celebrate the little victories. If you wait for the big ones, what a boring life you will have. So it is the little things that I honestly and the most proud career wise, I worked on a project that was incredibly complicated and I did it on my own and sent it to the client.

00;25;42;06 - 00;26;02;21
Peter
It was one of those, I don't know, I lost perspective. Is this any good? And I got an email back within an hour that they absolutely loved it. So that was incredibly satisfying. I, I spoke at an event and it said, this is such a minor thing. And it was one of the highlights of my year. I spoke at an event for the Michael J.

00;26;02;22 - 00;26;27;14
Peter
Fox Foundation, which, if you don't know, is a Parkinson's research. And I worked in basically a dad joke. It was a bad joke about a DeLorean, which of course Fox famous for Back to the Future. And I got the response from the 200 attendees ranged from laughter to groans to one woman sending a private message that she was in love with me because of how bad the joke was.

00;26;27;17 - 00;26;45;19
Peter
And it was just one of those. It was the right joke at the to the right audience and to anyone else. It was nothing. And I'm sure the people that attended, they don't even remember it. But I am so proud of that moment in my life and I don't know why, but I wish I could print it up and hang it on the wall.

00;26;45;25 - 00;26;52;28
Mike
I love that you can really just close your eyes and bring yourself back to that moment and feel just it felt like.

00;26;53;00 - 00;27;19;18
Peter
In a little more tangible, I'm proud of the cats that I, I, I didn't think I was a cat person, but I adopted three kittens. They were rescues and the amount that I have changed, realizing the responsibility I have for these lives, maybe it's because I don't have kids, but this is the time where I'm like, I'm responsible for taking Kara these these cats and also knowing that what their life might have been if I had taken them.

00;27;19;21 - 00;27;38;07
Peter
But I'm I'm, I'm quite proud of how I've stepped up and made the accommodations. And and to be perfectly blunt, my life is far better than theirs. My life is improved by their presence more than I think their life has improved with my presence. So it's it was a win win situation.

00;27;38;09 - 00;27;44;10
Mike
That's a lot to be proud of. That's really great. Kate Any pride moments?

00;27;44;13 - 00;28;06;13
Cait
Yeah, it's funny when I so I completely relate to Peter. When I was running the accountability webinar with PDS, I used to encourage everyone every week to share when I basically forced everyone to. It's like, Tell me something good that happened. So yeah, I think it is the most important thing is to just acknowledge week over week stuff.

00;28;06;13 - 00;28;35;00
Cait
That's, that's a way and I, I personally think any sort of behavior change or habit change that I have I like to take note of because I know that that's really challenging for me, particularly because rewriting things that have often been, you know, in my subconscious or in my life for a really long time, and something that I guess has been a challenge and an awareness piece over the past year has been that I definitely happen to avoid in streaks.

00;28;35;00 - 00;28;51;09
Cait
So if there's something that makes me uncomfortable or if there's something that I don't want to deal with, then and you know, yeah, this is where you run into procrastination. This is where you run into little. You'll be scrolling on your phone for like 2 hours. Are you supposed to do something that that was something that I was very hyper aware of.

00;28;51;09 - 00;29;13;05
Cait
This year, and a lot of it came down to communication and my ability to go towards a conversation versus away from it. And that was something that I really worked on this year and I'm proud of myself. There is a couple of, yeah, little moments. For instance, you know, I'd go on, I wouldn't even it wouldn't even be like a date or something.

00;29;13;05 - 00;29;35;27
Cait
It would just be like I'd meet somebody and then I would feel that they weren't really somebody that I wanted to, like, continue with or move forward with. And I had a choice of whether to just go out because at that stage it's like, that's quite common. But I, you know, try to make the the choice and the decision to move towards it and be like, hey, listen, you're a lovely person.

00;29;35;27 - 00;30;03;02
Cait
But, you know, I wasn't really feeling it and I don't really want a friendship dating, whatever. I'll just let people know. And the response has been really positive in the sense that most times people just get back and they're like, Hey, I really appreciate that. Even it'd be apartment viewing process. I always let the landlord or whoever I was dealing with know that I wasn't interested usually within a day and they would always message back and be like, Wow.

00;30;03;04 - 00;30;05;15
Cait
And I'm like, Oh, do people like this?

00;30;05;15 - 00;30;07;04
Peter
They're like.

00;30;07;06 - 00;30;22;29
Cait
So? So I think that that's something that I'm proud of myself for because it does make me uncomfortable to sometimes worry about what's the right thing to say. And often times if I just send something, it, it's usually enough. So yeah.

00;30;23;02 - 00;30;28;00
Peter
So simplification is always better than no communication situation.

00;30;28;07 - 00;30;48;10
Mike
Yeah, for sure. Even if it's not eloquent, even if it's if all in your face. Are you saying something is definitely the more important thing. So that's great. Kate, quickly, what I'm proud of probably the podcast, because when I was first doing this, I was really nervous and it took me a little while to get into more of a comfort zone.

00;30;48;13 - 00;31;12;07
Mike
There's still a level of anxiety when I do these things, but a lot less than before. And even just the fact that sometimes the conditions aren't always ideal. So I'm traveling around a lot, moving to different Airbnbs and stuff like that, and just kind of showing up and always getting it done. So yeah, I'd say the podcast probably the biggest thing that I'm proud of this year, it's been fun and I think it's helped a lot with growth.

00;31;12;11 - 00;31;20;09
Peter
So if it hasn't helped any of our listeners, I can tell you it certainly helped me. I thoroughly enjoyed working on these podcasts.

00;31;20;14 - 00;31;25;13
Mike
Nice, Nice. That's good to hear though.

00;31;25;13 - 00;31;44;23
Thais
I have some exciting news, which is that we are doing $1,000 off of our lifetime membership sale to the Personal Development School, which means you get access to literally everything at price for your entire rest of your life. Essentially, that entails all of our different courses you have lifetime access to. I do four life webinars a week every single week.

00;31;44;23 - 00;32;10;18
Thais
You can access them on going and you get access to all of our daily community events permanently. So literally access to everything at the PDS platform forever. And if you're looking to find a community, you're looking to connect with like minded people who are also working on their relationships, care about emotional connection and healing. We've got all those different events, and if you just want the security of that ongoing support and connection whenever you need it, that's just on demand that is there for you.

00;32;10;20 - 00;32;35;28
Thais
We have that 24/7 sort of component because you can post in our specific chat channels, connect with other community members, and we literally have so many people from across the world supporting each other, helping each other out, and most importantly, really becoming securely attached and seeing the results. So I'd love to see you on the other side and you can access it by using the link in the description box below.

00;32;36;01 - 00;33;01;11
Mike
Question number five How can you better show up and support yourself this upcoming year? So you want to think about what area of your life do you want to work on the most? So of course, seven areas of life mental, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical, financial relationships. You want to take a moment to reflect which areas you want to put more focus on nurturing this upcoming year.

00;33;01;13 - 00;33;11;29
Mike
So for Peter and Kate, is there any area that you think you can show up better in or need to pay a little more attention to and nurture this upcoming year?

00;33;12;06 - 00;33;29;14
Cait
I can think of one, so I haven't done this yet. I plan to do it in the next week, but we usually break out my year by months and I'll pick a different theme. But I guess if you were to choose an area of life, one that I can very much identify, I want to work on is my relationships.

00;33;29;17 - 00;34;13;13
Cait
I feel like I focus on finances and mental and emotional health this past year, just kind of like cultivating that self esteem and cultivating that self-assurance. And now I am recognizing that throughout hardship or challenges, as Peter mentions, I do have people who show up really well for me, and often times I notice that, you know, I'll kind of shift my social plans or I'll be less social when I'm focusing on those other areas, and I want to bring that back into balance and just be able to cultivate experiences with people.

00;34;13;15 - 00;34;37;14
Cait
So having my own space and being able to invite people over and even though, you know, I probably not going to be set up for a while, even if it's eating popcorn on the floor like board games or something like that, because I am really identifying that I can do all this work on my emotional and mental health and and, you know, take care of myself and be very like independent.

00;34;37;14 - 00;35;03;08
Cait
But that the social component is also equally important. And cultivating those relationships and making sure that I'm making time for them is also very important. And I think I'm just really grasping, especially recently, just the value of having people in your life and being able to, you know, have them married and enjoy their presence and find that connection between the people that you love.

00;35;03;10 - 00;35;08;28
Mike
Well, that's great, Peter. Any areas you want to nurture or focus on before you?

00;35;08;29 - 00;35;26;19
Peter
To my Kate, the one thing I like the sitting down and eating popcorn on the floor. I Oh, hard because I know when I think about the experience I've had with friends it's never been the environment right? Like I had a friend who moved out of his parents place when he was 17 and he lived in a die.

00;35;26;26 - 00;35;38;10
Peter
But when I think about the we hung out, it was never the state of his couch or the cleanliness of the apartment. It was the time with him. So yeah, don't don't wait for things to be perfect. Please don't wait for things.

00;35;38;10 - 00;35;40;21
Mike
Be very open it yet so true in terms.

00;35;40;28 - 00;36;03;12
Peter
Of what I can do for myself. The single biggest thing is my health. I tend to focus on finances and career obsessively. I'm constantly worried about these things and those are issues I need to deal with. But health wise, I realized in the last year that I've left the heavy lifting to my wife. I eat healthy because she prepares meals or she plans things out.

00;36;03;18 - 00;36;28;02
Peter
I got exercised big goals of situational things like I used to. Pre-pandemic I cycled to different jobs, like working from home. I don't get any physical exercise. So I think for next year would be I've got a health wise, I have to get some exercise and I have to start food wise, actually starting to make meals and doing stuff, especially my wife has been doing it for so years.

00;36;28;08 - 00;36;36;03
Peter
It's probably time for me to step up and learn how to make some healthy meals as opposed to, Oh, I have to make food tonight. Okay, we'll just order pizza.

00;36;36;05 - 00;36;58;18
Mike
That's my go to most nights. Those are great, great goals for myself. This year, I think I put a lot of focus on physical and financial. So those areas are pretty good for the moment. So I know for sure 2020 for intellectual embarrassingly have sort of let my brain turn to my show little bit in the sense that my attention span has gotten very short.

00;36;58;18 - 00;37;18;03
Mike
So reading books has literally gone out the window for the past, I'd say a year, year and a half. And I think the pandemic sort of set that off, that sort of put me in a bit of like a fight or flight. So my attention span was very not as focused. So definitely this year I'm going to get back to more sort of mindful activities reading.

00;37;18;03 - 00;37;42;20
Mike
So I'm going to get more, you know, learn some more things, maybe take a course so intellectual, I want to sharpen your brain and what else? Relationships as well. Again, touching on what I talked about before, like not appreciating what you have until it's not there. I sort of want to tell the people that are in my life it's a little more about how I feel about them because I think I'm just sort of like taking them for granted.

00;37;42;20 - 00;38;06;07
Mike
That's always be there. But I think I need to let these know sort of what they mean to me and that I recognize of things they've done for me. So relationships, intellectual and some spiritual, I want to get back into meditation and more sort of cultivating the inner inner world and to be more spiritual. So those are my focuses for 2024 is.

00;38;06;09 - 00;38;28;09
Peter
Telling people how you feel about them. Feels weird when you start to do it. And I don't know why you're saying positive things, but I will say it gets easier because I had a friend who, at eight years old, I was very fortunate to befriend this guy. He he found saying, I love you very easy and it realigned things.

00;38;28;15 - 00;38;35;24
Peter
So and it felt weird at first to tell a platonic friend that you loved them. I was able to normalize it in my life.

00;38;35;29 - 00;38;36;17
Mike
I love that.

00;38;36;22 - 00;38;42;13
Peter
I would recommend it, but it's one of those things where I fully admit it's a bit weird, but it gets back.

00;38;42;15 - 00;39;03;18
Mike
To sort of like circle back to attachment theory. And growing up, I guess I didn't get a lot of compliments and appreciation about me. My parents were great again, but, you know, there wasn't a lot of sort of telling me, you know, how I was special or what I did great in this area or that area. So I think, you know, it didn't feel natural, so it doesn't feel natural to do it to others.

00;39;03;20 - 00;39;19;27
Mike
So I think, you know, the more you do it to yourself as well, if you get in the habit of complimenting yourself and appreciating the things about yourself, then it probably feels a lot more easy to deliver it to other people. But I love your point, Peter, about sort of it gets it gets easier the more you do it.

00;39;19;27 - 00;39;31;13
Mike
So that's that's good to know. I'll start now. I appreciate guys appreciate you Peter and Kate and appreciate Earth Hour Thursday meetings. We get to hug and share parts of ourselves that we don't always get to share.

00;39;31;17 - 00;39;46;27
Peter
So appreciate it. Never had a meeting like that in my career and I've told other people about it. I've got a friend who is an executive at an advertising agency who has taken the personal development schools meeting format, and he uses it for his meetings now.

00;39;46;29 - 00;40;09;17
Mike
I love it. It's so good. We're lucky We're blessed. Okay, so question number six, What fears do you want to work on? So was there any major fears that came up for you this year that you have yet to overcome and, you know, you can make like a little plan of how you can sort of slowly go to your comfort zone, maybe do some exposure response in that area.

00;40;09;19 - 00;40;22;09
Mike
But basically you just want to identify was there any fears that you want to work on? This is a vulnerable one. Does anybody want to share any big fears that they had?

00;40;22;11 - 00;40;47;13
Peter
That silence was a scarcity. That's my big thing. I am constantly fighting the I'm going to run out of money, I'm going to lose my house. I'm going to I don't know what it is. I constantly think I'm going to run out of stuff. It's that fear of losing, I guess, what I have or not. I don't have enough to be safe and secure.

00;40;47;16 - 00;41;09;03
Peter
So yeah, that that's I don't have a solution to it other than I had in a bit of an epiphany early in the year where no matter how bad things get, I always figured things out. So far in my life, I've made it this far. I've always figured something out no matter what happens. So I'm going to have the faith in myself that no matter what happens in the future, I'll figure it out.

00;41;09;06 - 00;41;16;14
Peter
So that's helped me a bit. But scarcity is my my number one. My number one thing, especially with finances.

00;41;16;16 - 00;41;17;03
Mike
The real fear.

00;41;17;05 - 00;41;32;09
Peter
And the avoidant in me, you know, I just didn't deal. One of the best things I did this year was actually starting to use a budget app. And it's been it's been so freeing mentally just using a budgeting now. But I resisted it for far too long.

00;41;32;14 - 00;41;47;28
Cait
I feel like needs. Yeah, you said the security in there and budget would definitely help with that. So that's awesome. I think you're setting yourself up pretty good for. Yeah, overcoming the fear of fear. Like identifying that it's there for sure.

00;41;47;29 - 00;41;57;09
Peter
I don't think I figured out life yet, but in all I it, I figured out more things than ever before. So it's very encouraging.

00;41;57;12 - 00;42;00;10
Mike
And experience you wanna talk about.

00;42;00;13 - 00;42;29;21
Cait
This is probably the fearful avoidance but both wanting to be super Bonorable in the not want to do at the same time I. I definitely feel I have a fear around fully being my authentic self around people who are not approving of me. And that was something that really came up over the past month where I can be more like hyper vigilant of how people are responding to me.

00;42;29;21 - 00;42;52;21
Cait
I can be, you know, sort of playing more small in certain areas because if I were to kind of step it due, I authentically who I am, I would worry about how other people would respond to that. And that's something that I've been working on for quite a while. I feel it's something that a lot of people can relate to, feeling like I'm going to be judged or I'm worried about like kind of be seen.

00;42;52;23 - 00;43;03;02
Cait
And that's something I'd really like to to work on because I do think it's it's deeply rooted. But yeah, something I'm ready to let go of. So can I ask.

00;43;03;02 - 00;43;06;17
Peter
In relation to ADHD, do you feel like you're masking a lot?

00;43;06;17 - 00;43;39;21
Cait
Oh, interesting. I did. I don't know if I could share a very short example. Looks kind of funny. I did notice that when I was viewing apartments or like in those situations where, like, it's like I'm kind of meeting somebody for the first time and like, I'm yeah, kind of pursuing something. I did notice that I wouldn't necessarily say that I was masking, but I do notice when I'm people pleasing, which I think is a form of masking for me, even though I might not have a ton of energy like right now I do, which is fortunate.

00;43;39;21 - 00;44;06;26
Cait
But if I don't have a ton of energy, sometimes I'll be like, Oh, Jenny and then like jump into something just because I'm like, okay, this is what the situation calls for. But that's not always authentically how I'm feeling. And sometimes it can help me step out of that feeling. It can be like a state change, but then sometimes it's like, Hey, I'm actually really overwhelmed and stressed right now, but everything's cool.

00;44;06;28 - 00;44;11;03
Cait
Yeah, I feel that sometimes it can go in that direction for sure.

00;44;11;06 - 00;44;30;20
Peter
I know it's funny with my wife will mask and I, I still don't always see it because she's so good at it. Right. And will be in a social situation where she's incredibly uncomfortable. And later on it'll be like, Why didn't you help me out there? And I'm like, I didn't realize there was a problem. Nobody else knew that there was a problem.

00;44;30;27 - 00;44;47;22
Peter
And she's just so good at masking. But I will say there's also the beauty of when she drops her guard, You know, I'll walk into the room and she's dancing across the floor to music that she's only hearing in her head. And it's amazing. I absolutely love it. But it's not something she would do in front of anybody else.

00;44;47;27 - 00;45;09;08
Cait
Oh, yeah. So that's that's perfect. Like in front of me, this question is going on a lengthy road. But yeah, I think that that relates to I guess my fear is that I do that. So like I've had previous partners before that maybe I've only seen me dance like that on once in a blue moon, because it is something that I do when I'm alone.

00;45;09;08 - 00;45;27;20
Cait
I do a lot of things that I'm alone, but like I don't necessarily show other people parts of my personality. And I think that that's something that I want to invite in. But it's so funny because when I meet another Neurodivergent person or there's somebody who's just got similar interests to me, I'll I'll let a little bit more weird out.

00;45;27;21 - 00;45;30;04
Mike
That's Yeah.

00;45;30;07 - 00;45;50;16
Cait
And then and then that's yeah, I would say that, that's probably what I'm bumping up against honestly, when I'm feeling like I'm seeking approval or that I'm going to be judged is that like people won't understand me or they'll think I'm strange, or I will just think negatively of me. And I think I've really held on to that for a long time.

00;45;50;16 - 00;46;06;10
Cait
And and a lot of it is not showing that stuff. So it will be like being in uncomfortable situations and then just kind of going along with it. And that's where I guess I'm also learning to kind of like retroactively go back and be like, I'm not interested in pursuing this.

00;46;06;13 - 00;46;06;28
Peter
Now.

00;46;07;00 - 00;46;20;10
Cait
Because it's like the whole time I was just like, okay, yeah. And then afterwards I'm like, I didn't like that. Okay? And then I go back and I'm like, Hey, I didn't like that. But it takes a minute. It takes a little minute to check in. So yeah.

00;46;20;12 - 00;46;28;11
Mike
That's really so I know we got to do an ADHD podcast. We could talk about ADHD topics of Neurodivergent for you.

00;46;28;13 - 00;46;29;11
Cait
And it turned into that.

00;46;29;17 - 00;46;29;28
Peter
And it's.

00;46;29;28 - 00;46;30;11
Mike
Good.

00;46;30;11 - 00;46;57;21
Peter
It's it's good as somebody who's neurotypical, I got to say, I've learned so much and realizing how many Neurodivergent people are in my life. I apparently attract them. They're my people. Even though that's not how my brain operates. Interesting. If nothing else, it's taught me that lots of neurotypical people are absolutely accepting of neurodivergent people. They just need to be aware that that's the situation.

00;46;57;23 - 00;47;08;08
Mike
Oh, that's good to know. Yeah. Okay, so you're not done. You're not like, Whoa, what the heck's going on here? But when you understand sort of how someone operates here, like, this is amazing. I love this.

00;47;08;08 - 00;47;26;21
Peter
Oh, I mean into it, though. Weird people. Quick story. I had a friend I've known him for 25 years and he's in finance. He's the CFO of a hedge fund or some. I don't even understand what he does. It's so boring. He's told me three times and I just hold it in my head. But at one point I turned to him and said, I'm the weirdest person, you know, our time.

00;47;26;25 - 00;47;45;06
Peter
And he was like, Absolutely. And if you look at me, I'm glasses and a tie. I have friends who are I am the most straitlaced, normal person they know. I get it very quickly. Wherever you think you are in terms of weird, there are people way weirder than you are, and there will be people who love your weirdness.

00;47;45;09 - 00;47;54;09
Mike
Very well said. And then just so quickly, share. But what question are we on our fears too? I thought I was going to be able to skip that one.

00;47;54;09 - 00;47;55;28
Peter
My afraid not.

00;47;55;28 - 00;48;23;16
Mike
I'm afraid. Okay. So to be emotional in front of like people to cry and have an emotional response or reaction, I tend to if I'm around people or friends or whatnot, if I feel something coming out, I'm very like, no, not appropriate. Don't about don't cry. Definitely don't cry. Like crying in front of an of strangers, even friends is something really challenging for me.

00;48;23;19 - 00;48;43;29
Mike
But I also know that it's very unhealthy to be suppressing those things. And the strangest thing is, if I see someone cry, especially a male, I think, Wow, that's really brave to not be worried about like, oh, people thinking, Oh, what a wimp or what a weenie. And I never see them like that. And I think like, wow, that's very strong.

00;48;44;01 - 00;48;54;06
Mike
So it's my sort of challenge to myself this year to try to cry in front of and wrote people it associates on maybe some males as well.

00;48;54;09 - 00;48;57;09
Peter
So to help you at our next team meeting, if we try to make you cry.

00;48;57;10 - 00;49;08;13
Mike
Yet to just hurl the worst insults you can at me. Yeah, we'll try something. But that is my my sort of focus on trying to overcome that fear.

00;49;08;18 - 00;49;14;16
Cait
If you don't mind me, just try again. If you want to do that in our next meeting. Happy to.

00;49;14;18 - 00;49;15;10
Mike
Say.

00;49;15;13 - 00;49;15;19
Cait
That.

00;49;15;19 - 00;49;19;25
Mike
Probably not happening in the next days or more of it, but go ahead.

00;49;19;26 - 00;49;21;09
Peter
I'm going to work this week.

00;49;21;12 - 00;49;46;26
Cait
Yeah, Yeah. I would almost argue that a lot of it is people's capacity to be able to know what to do in those circumstances. So like if you see somebody crying and it makes you uncomfortable, their response to it is completely their own. It's interesting that you're looking at, you know, a man crying and being like, oh, like that's very strong and whatnot.

00;49;46;26 - 00;50;12;17
Cait
And it's like, yeah, being able to kind of reflect that back to yourself. It's kind of like that fear again of how are people going to perceive me? And that's completely based on their own comfort level and programing and all that kind of stuff. So it's fascinating. I, I just immediately thought I was having a very stressful week a couple of weeks ago when I was walking home through like a really big city and I was with an alien to the point of goal loss.

00;50;12;17 - 00;50;27;13
Cait
And I do not like to cry in front of people, but I was just really stressed and I was like, it was just that point where I was like, I don't care if somebody judge, If I was like, I'm going to go in and buy a piece of cake and then I'm going to walk off my bike. I'm like, If I have makeup all over my face, whatever.

00;50;27;13 - 00;50;34;25
Cait
Anyway, that might be staged. If you're at like stage one, that's maybe stage ten, but you can get there, right?

00;50;34;27 - 00;50;57;20
Mike
Hey, thank you. Thanks for the support. Okay, last but not least, question number seven. What was the best change you made this year? So was there any sort of tweak? Change could be a job change. Could have been anything. You want to just look at your life and notice if there was any change that you made that ended up being really beneficial for you.

00;50;57;22 - 00;51;02;14
Mike
I know it's a tough one, right? See, we didn't prep for this, but it's kind of weird making.

00;51;02;14 - 00;51;20;26
Peter
It look so easy for someone else to see change in You then see it in your situation. It's it's it's like I've got family who live in other countries and I'll notice things about them because I haven't seen them in a year when I see them every day. Don't notice the change, which is all my way of stalling.

00;51;20;28 - 00;51;23;24
Peter
That's why I had to do something. So please.

00;51;23;24 - 00;52;02;09
Cait
Go. Yeah. I personally feel like again, a lot of my more internal, but I started watching what language I use with myself and with other people. So for instance, instead of saying I can't, I say I can, or I could like just little small things and just really try to the end. And I'm not perfect with it. There's still days where I'm like, Oh gosh, this is really challenging, but really being mindful of, of how I say things and the language that I use, not only describing myself but other people.

00;52;02;09 - 00;52;09;00
Cait
So really having that integrity and how I'm choosing to not to speak.

00;52;09;02 - 00;52;33;05
Mike
Not that sounds very helpful and beneficial. I thought of something as well as for change. I find myself I'm spending more money on myself, which sounds kind of weird. Or maybe it sounds a bit ego, but it's in a good way. Like if you were to look at the Airbnbs, I was staying at my first year in Mexico or the places I was staying versus the second year I find myself in the last year.

00;52;33;07 - 00;52;59;18
Mike
I guess it's more worthiness possibly, but I'm investing in myself and I'm realizing if you spend a little more money on your environment, you spend a little more money on things that make you feel good, you're going to feel better. And even something this is really minor, but I've been getting beard trims at the barber. Now, before I would have thought it's not such a frivolous waste of money, but it's really pleasurable.

00;52;59;18 - 00;53;16;13
Mike
Like they do like the hot towel and they they do the trim and and shave your neck and all that. So in the past and I think it's part of my upbringing, too, to be like, Oh, well, you don't need that social like an extra unnecessary thing. But I'm starting to realize those things. They make you feel really good.

00;53;16;13 - 00;53;32;20
Mike
And if it makes you feel good, it's definitely not a waste of money. And you know, if it if you're sacrificing, you know, your your food and stuff for those kind of things. Right. But, you know, I have a job, thankfully. You know, I appreciate that. And I'm in a position where I can spend a few dollars on myself.

00;53;32;22 - 00;53;38;26
Mike
So I'd say the biggest change this year is just kind of investing more in myself and in small things that make me feel good.

00;53;39;02 - 00;54;01;13
Peter
Actually, that that hits home for me. Spending money on yourself are the only thing I spend money on is, as you can see behind comic books, it's like my one indulgence and last year it's the worthiness that I don't know. I don't know where it came from, to be perfectly honest. But there is that I'm secure. I think I'm more confident than the average person as a secure person.

00;54;01;15 - 00;54;22;17
Peter
But I didn't realize there are certain areas of my life where unexamined, I didn't feel worthy. I had a friend of mine who found out what I charged a client and he's like, Peter, with your experience, the what is it? The profound disappointment in his voice when he found out what I was charging, he's just like, No, you're you're not valuing your skill.

00;54;22;19 - 00;54;39;01
Peter
And it it kind of realigned me for the second half of the year. And I've seen that kind of ripple into a couple of things where I deserved certain things. And it's okay. It's not selfish, you know, I can I can save time for myself. These certain things I didn't even realize. I guess that was the big thing.

00;54;39;04 - 00;55;07;06
Peter
I didn't realize where I found myself feeling unworthy. And I'm trying to to correct that. If a beard trim feels good for you, that that it's one of those things where that's not going to be the difference between you being homeless and right, Like it just never will be. But I see that mindset. I can't possibly my office is cold if I have thick socks on in the winter, I'm more comfortable and there's a thick sock I found I really liked.

00;55;07;08 - 00;55;26;00
Peter
But they cost like $10. And I'm like, when I went out and bought a pair, my wife was like, Oh, I'm glad that you thought you were worth the $10 socks. That was as crazy as it was. I had to convince myself that this was a good investment and it will make me so much more comfortable for the next four months.

00;55;26;03 - 00;55;47;26
Mike
I love that. Yeah. It's a it's nurturing relationship with yourself. Just as you nurture a relationship with someone else, with your romantic relationship, does your partner need flowers? I'm sure they're going to survive without flowers. Do they need you to take them out on a date once in a while? These things are not something that you need to do, but it's something that makes them feel good and you want to show them their appreciation.

00;55;47;28 - 00;55;56;10
Mike
So we just need to flip that to ourselves as well. We're we're worthy and deserving of be treated sometimes so well that.

00;55;56;13 - 00;55;57;03
Peter
100%.

00;55;57;11 - 00;56;17;21
Mike
Okay, that's the holiday episode, everyone. We really encourage you to also do this as well. Just a quick recap. The questions are what were you grateful for this year? What were some of the hardest challenges you faced? What did this year's challenges teach you? What are you proud of? How can you better show up and support yourself this upcoming year?

00;56;17;23 - 00;56;27;21
Mike
And what was the best change you made this year? We'll put that in the show notes as well. Any last words, guys? Any holiday wishes for our viewers and listeners?

00;56;27;25 - 00;56;36;18
Peter
They're great. And this is me as the person who edits these. The greatest, if you can give is to write and review this podcast.

00;56;36;20 - 00;56;41;13
Mike
Thank you. Appreciate that. Kate, any last words?

00;56;41;15 - 00;57;01;26
Cait
I just encourage everyone to kind of, yeah, reflect on their wins since we kind of discussed and I know that the beginning of the year can feel really intimidating, like a lot of people want to take on a bunch. But honestly, yeah, just making small steps of improvement each year and taking things as they come also works too.

00;57;01;29 - 00;57;02;28
Cait
Yeah.

00;57;03;00 - 00;57;16;15
Mike
So that. Okay everyone, thanks again for listening. I hope you had a great 2023 and have an amazing upcoming 2024 and tune in with us. We got a lot of good stuff planned and a great one. Thanks for being here.