00:00:00:00 - 00:00:42:00
Thais
Hello and welcome to the Personal Development School podcast. I'm your host. Thais Gibson, and I create regular podcast episodes to teach you about your relationships, attachment style and the subconscious mind. My goal of this podcast is to give you tools and awareness you need to thrive in your relationships, feel deeply connected, and find harmony and fulfillment in your relationships and personal life. So I hope you tune in here with me each and every week.

00:00:42:00 - 00:01:02:09
Thais
I want to talk to you a little bit about ten high level but effective ways to improve yourself. So the very first way, and this is a really, really important thing to be doing, is to audit your life, to just simply introspect. And this looks like you're taking a look at what habits in your life that you have are currently helping you versus hurting you.

00:01:02:15 - 00:01:32:18
Thais
And it's a great idea to just audit and truly look at how am I showing up in my career, what good habits do I have, what bad habits do I have, what strengths, what weaknesses do I have? How am I showing up in the financial area of my life? Same idea. Strengths, weaknesses, good habits, unhealthy habits. Then take a look at your relationship, your communication, the way you decide to show up interpersonally in general, whether it's with friends, family members, romantic relationships, and just evaluate how are you showing up?

00:01:32:18 - 00:01:59:13
Thais
And also by taking a look at the physical area of your life as well, your habits with food, with sleep, with rest, with exercise of movement, with all these different things. Because it isn't until we fully look that we can really see what improvements need to be made. Number two is to learn to set better boundaries. There's this idea that, like if you were always in a place where you were saying yes to everything, you're usually not saying no to the right things.

00:01:59:14 - 00:02:18:16
Thais
So let's just say, for example, if it's really important to me and my needs as a person and my growth as an individual to read one book per month and then I don't have boundaries. So I just fill out my social calendar and I say yes to everybody all the time. Then I actually get off course in my life and it really prevents me from improving myself.

00:02:18:18 - 00:02:43:14
Thais
And so I have to learn my boundaries as an individual so that I can then move in the direction of my goals and the track that I want to be on. Which brings me to point number three, which is all about becoming intent. Janel What is it that you want? What are your goals that you have? And to really take a look at what your goals are for you to be happy, to be fulfilled and to feel strong and empowered in the many different areas of your life that matter to you.

00:02:43:14 - 00:03:03:27
Thais
So just to review some of the seven areas. Career, financial, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and again, relationships which can be broken into three major categories friends, family and romantic relationships. And it's not until we have goals that we really can start being intentional about how we show up, how we spend our days, because that ends up being how we spend our lives.

00:03:03:29 - 00:03:36:14
Thais
And there's a lot to be said about this. Number four, it is extremely important, extremely important. If there's anything that you want to achieve in your life that we learn how to reprogram our subconscious mind. Research has clearly demonstrated time and time again the conscious mind cannot out will or overpower the subconscious mind. So if we set goals consciously, but there isn't some kind of motive or motivation happening at the subconscious level, then exactly what's going to happen is you're going to want to do something, want to do it, and your subconscious mind is going to self-sabotage.

00:03:36:14 - 00:03:59:07
Thais
It's going to pull you in a million different directions and there's lots of really good reprograming tools. And I also have a very in-depth course about 21 key tools you can use just for subconscious Reprograming really easy, simple things you can plug into your everyday life with worksheets, habits, routines. The next major thing here is to learn your needs and to create effective strategies to fulfill that.

00:03:59:09 - 00:04:33:08
Thais
So this can be something where you brainstorm, but if we don't know our needs as a person, then it's very hard to feel really on track, fulfill that on purpose. So much of what we feel our purpose is, is driven by understanding our needs at a subconscious level in the relationship. We always have to that. And when we are in alignment with our needs, when we're executing the life and living in life that literally is congruent with our needs, we feel more energetic, more focused, more inspired, more fulfilled because our needs are subconscious drivers for us and when our conscious mind and subconscious are on the same path because we set goals in alignment with

00:04:33:08 - 00:04:54:29
Thais
our needs, it's much easier to do things. So I'll give you an example. Let's say, for example, that we have Mary, and Mary has a really high needs for social and emotional connection and those are really important, like North Stars for her, like things that she really follows. And let's say Mary's trying to set a goal to eat healthier and to exercise more often.

00:04:55:02 - 00:05:09:13
Thais
Well, she's going to have a conscious goal that's kind of out of alignment with her subconscious mind. So her conscious mind is going to say, We're going to exercise, we're going to eat healthier. Her subconscious mind is gonna be like, Yeah, but we don't have a lot of free time after work. And with the kids already. So like in our free time, we don't want to do that.

00:05:09:13 - 00:05:37:18
Thais
We want to spend time with family and friends. But if you know that those are your personality needs and those drivers for you at a deep level, then what happens is your subconscious mind. If we can align those things by, for example, going to the gym and taking cooking classes to eat healthier with friends, with family and loop those things so that there's an overlap together, then we have natural intrinsic motivation happening at the subconscious level, which is a remedy for self-sabotage and actually makes the new things we're trying to do or the new goals.

00:05:37:18 - 00:06:11:19
Thais
We're going to accomplish a lot more fun and interesting for us, which in turn allows our subconscious mind to build positive emotional associations to these things. And the more positive emotions we have tied to actions or behaviors that are a part of our life, the more they actually become natural and they become progress. So if she's enjoying three or four days a week going to the gym with friends, doing a group fitness class, going for a hike with friends, or taking a cooking class and cooking healthy meals for the week and pre cooking our meals for the week, like she's naturally going to make that habitual part of her life.

00:06:11:21 - 00:06:30:19
Thais
Without that, her conscious mind is going to say, No, we don't want to do that because we want to go spend time with friends and family instead. And it feels like those parts of self are in competition and this is when you'll feel like you're in a place in life where you kind of are putting the gas and the brakes on at the same time and you kind of have this like push and will, but then it's like resistance pulling you back.

00:06:30:19 - 00:06:37:08
Thais
That's usually exactly what's taking place at the subconscious level is that your goals are out of alignment with your subconscious needs.

00:06:37:08 - 00:06:59:19
Thais
Though, I have some exciting news, which is that we are doing $1,000 off of our lifetime membership sale to the personal development School, which means you get access to literally everything at PDS for your entire rest of your life. Essentially, that entails all of our different courses. You have lifetime access to. I do four life webinars a week every single week.

00:06:59:19 - 00:07:18:01
Thais
You can access them on going and you get access to all of our daily community events permanently. So literally access to everything at the PDS platform forever. And if you're looking to find a community, you're looking to connect with like minded people who are also working on their relationships, care about emotional connection and healing. We've got all those different events.

00:07:18:01 - 00:07:41:29
Thais
And if you just want the security of that ongoing support and connection whenever you need it, that's just on demand that is there for you. We have that 24/7 sort of component because you can post in our specific chat channels, connect with our community members, and we literally have so many people from across the world supporting each other, helping each other out, and most importantly, really becoming securely attached and seeing the results.

00:07:42:03 - 00:07:49:10
Thais
So I'd love to see you on the other side and you can access it by using the link in the description box below.

00:07:49:10 - 00:08:04:04
Thais
Number six Use your emotions as feedback. Your emotions are always giving you feedback for when you're out of alignment, when you're telling yourself a painful story, when you're when you've sort of fallen off track, when you're beating yourself up, when you're putting yourself down, you're going to feel negative emotions.

00:08:04:06 - 00:08:25:11
Thais
Your emotions are also going to let you know when you have unmet needs. Maybe you have an unmet need for one connection and so you feel lonely. So emotions are literally a feedback loop. And if we can see that we can start looking for how we can create change to improve the quality of our lives by going, I'm feeling sad.

00:08:25:17 - 00:08:44:07
Thais
Why? What is this telling me about myself? What feedback am I getting here internally and what can I do to correct it? And the more we're doing that on a regular basis, we stop these sort of spirals from happening By stopping these emotional spirals from happening, all of a sudden we get into a position where we feel in charge of our emotional state.

00:08:44:09 - 00:09:04:11
Thais
And if we feel much more in charge of our emotional state, we end up being more motivated, focused and feeling like we can be in charge of our lives. Number seven, to look for the lesson in everything. Okay, so this is all about like having a growth mindset. And if we can learn in life to look for the lesson in everything to be like, what am I feeling?

00:09:04:13 - 00:09:21:02
Thais
Or what was this challenging event that took place and what can I take away from that? So let's say you mess up at work instead of beating yourself up and getting lost and like putting yourself down? How about just asking yourself what feedback is this giving me? What's the lesson here for me? What can I learn going forward?

00:09:21:09 - 00:09:45:26
Thais
So we can always Which brings me to number eight, be solution focus. Okay. When we're solution focused here, then we get into a position where we are not fighting the problem. I want to give you an example. Let's say that you just had a flat tire in your car and the moment you have a flat tire, you go, my gosh, why is this happening to me?

00:09:45:26 - 00:10:11:03
Thais
I can't believe this. This is so unfair. My life is already so hard. You know, it's one thing to feel your emotions, but it's another thing to like just add more suffering to your own life on autopilot. And every moment you spend, you know, being in resistance to the problem and being upset and angry and beating up yourself and your perception of your own life, when there's an issue, you lose going, okay, this is unfortunate.

00:10:11:03 - 00:10:30:18
Thais
What can I do to fix the tire? How quickly can I get triple-A here or here to fix the tire in my car? And what can I do next to do? I have to call to let them know I'm going to be late and you get out of like being able to think clearly. So when we can keep being for the solution rather than against the problem, we really enable ourselves to grow.

00:10:30:24 - 00:10:50:10
Thais
Become more aware of your internal dialog. I can't stress this one enough. This is probably one of the most important ones here. We need to recognize the way we speak to ourselves because our thoughts create programs at the subconscious level and create a self image. It creates, you know, our repetitive thoughts over time, create these ideas we have about ourselves and what we think we are and who we think we are.

00:10:50:10 - 00:11:18:05
Thais
And then our subconscious mind actually works to maintain that comfort zone. So if I'm always telling myself the story that I'm not good enough when I do feel good enough because I get this great new job or I have this new business or experience or a new partner or whatever it might be, the subconscious mind is like, no, no, you don't deserve that because you're not good enough and it will actually sabotage things externally just as a strategy to maintain its comfort zone because the subconscious mind equates familiarity to safety and safety to survival.

00:11:18:08 - 00:11:40:24
Thais
So it wants to reject anything that it's not used to feeling, having or experiencing because it thinks that that's its way of staying safe. Learn to more unconditionally self-love. If we want to experience a little more freedom in our lives, it's hey, when you make a mistake, when you mess up, when things aren't going well for you, when life is tough, show up and support yourself anyways.

00:11:40:29 - 00:12:00:13
Thais
Don't withhold love and kindness and compassion when you make mistakes, when things aren't going well, when you mess up your presentation, be kind to yourself in the way you show up behaviorally, in the way that you show up in your relationship to yourself in general. Like how you speak to yourself, how you treat your own emotions. All these different things are extremely important.

00:12:00:18 - 00:12:27:02
Thais
And again, we are always putting our energy into either the solution in life, things that propel us to move forward, being kind to ourselves, respecting ourselves, being good with our boundaries, knowing our needs, all these are things. Or we are just using emotional real estate to sabotage ourselves through negative internal dialog, beating ourselves up, putting ourselves down, being hard on ourselves, ignoring or repressing our emotions, ignoring or repressing our boundaries, disregarding our needs.

00:12:27:02 - 00:12:35:05
Thais
And we want to decide what side of the equation do we want to be playing on because those choices, moment by moment, will have a massive impact on our lives.