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My guest today is a master life coach, wife and mom certified Nervous System Fitness expert Somatic Experiencing practitioner podcaster, attorney and deeply rooted in curiosity and self-compassion. Her mission is to support women in understanding and removing anything, holding them back from living their lives to the fullest. Personal Development School Podcast Viewers and listeners say hello to Michelle Grosser

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Hello, Michelle. How you doing today? I'm great. Thanks for having me. This is awesome. Awesome. Thank you for being here. Okay. Just to start out for our guests who might not have heard of you before. I was wonder if you could spend a few moments just letting our audience know who you are, what you do, and a bit of your backstory.

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Yeah, sure. So my name is Michelle Grosser. I live in Miami with my husband and my two girls. They are five and six and a half. And for the last 13 years, I've been a practicing attorney. So my own practice in 2014. And then when I started having kids, just really kind of hit this wall of burnout. And I am someone who is so good in my head, right?

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All the analytical skills and the logic and give me a checklist and I can turn stuff out. And I always did well in school and sports and all this stuff. But man, was I just out of touch with my body and my emotions. And I just had really hit a burnout. I was doing too much. I went back to work with a five week old baby, literally bringing her the office, and my body was just like, Nope, you're not doing this.

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And it shut me down. And at that point I was like, Man, I got to I gotta change something. And the pandemic was just kind of starting. And I really had this call to kind of help other women who were just experiencing and feeling what I was feeling. So I entered this year long master coach certification program thinking I would just get tools to help other women.

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And lo and behold, my whole world was just turned upside down. And I realized how so many of the things I thought were really serving me well and pushing me forward were actually holding me back and causing me so much more resistance and pain and all of these different things. So I just really went all in on this personal development journey.

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And I studied the nervous system for a couple of years and now that's the work that I'm doing. I'm helping other women learn about their nervous system, learn about emotional regulation so they can just show up in all of their spheres right? Like you read that in show, it's like sometimes I'm embarrassed by how many hats I'm wearing these days because, like, it's insane, but it's because I've done the work to grow that capacity.

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So just helping other women do the same, right? That's amazing. I still can't get over. You said you went back to work after five weeks after you had your your child. That's unbelievable. But, you know, yeah, you've learned all these amazing things and now you can offer that to other people. That's the beauty of this journey. You know, we can have some tough moments or tough days, years, months.

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But really, at the end of it, if we sort of learn and overcome, then we have this gift of sharing with others. And that's what you're doing now. And that's that's unbelievable. Yeah. So you're the creator and the host, obviously, of the Car Mom Podcast. What was the inspiration for starting the podcast and what are some of the main things that you're discussing and topics that you cover on the podcast?

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I guess to go back when I had my first child, there's so many resources for parents, right? Rightly so about parenting and different philosophies and strategies and discipline styles and all of these different things and so awesome. But there's not as many resources for the women of the mom. There's such a huge shift, right? And like identity and our other physical body demands on our time or energy or bandwidth and not a ton of resources for the woman of the mom.

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So that's really a space I wanted to help fill. That was the impetus for the podcast. And women are really just coming from all over the world who are experiencing the things I was experiencing six, seven years ago, right? They're burnt out, they're exhausted. They feel like they're at their limit. They're sick of yelling at their kids and snapping at their husbands and all of these things, and they know there's something deeper.

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So that's why that's why they've come across. And and the show really helps women with anxiety, overwhelm and burnout are the three big things we talk about, all from a nervous system perspective, Right. That's wonderful. And I know you took an area that you felt was sort of underserviced and then you're like, well, that's I'm going to bring this to the world, then that's kind of how a lot of businesses start, don't they?

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People see like, hey, they actually don't have this. I need this badly. So if I need it, I'm sure a lot of other people do. That's right. That's excellent. So you touch on burnout, but what would you say are some of the most common things that mothers are coming to you needing help with? Yeah, I think we we hear self-care, right?

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We know we're burnt out. We know there's something wrong. We hear self-care and it's like, yeah, go get a massage or nanny patty. And it's like, those are awesome and I love those things. But you come back home and your kids still piss you off. It's like it only goes so far. So they come to me and I'm like, But what do I do?

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I've tried the mindset stuff or I've tried all this different stuff. So really, you know, to heal and grow at the deepest level, we've got to work at the deepest level, and that's the nervous system. So it's a lot of people coming in that just feel like they're at their wit's end. They don't feel like themselves. And then I guess on the other side of that is just emotional volatility.

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I think, you know, a lot of times we hear the term mom guilt and a lot of times it's associated with mom rage and just this feeling like it doesn't feel good to snap at our kids, but it happens. So there are ways and tools we can work in our body to try to kind of help with that.

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Definitely, for sure. But it's good if you're snapping. You have nice looking nails because you did the self-care before right now you go, Yeah, you're looking good while snapping, but that's a no. Thanks for sharing. So getting good sleep is obviously important for moms, new moms, but good sleep for everyone is obviously super important. I know one of your podcasts, you talked about some tips on, you know, for the person who's have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep.

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So for anyone listening or moms who are having a hard time falling asleep at night, what are some of the things they can do to minimize this and get better sleep? Yeah. So insomnia and sleep issues is one of the physical signs of nervous system dysregulation. So if that's something you're experiencing, you'll be stuck, stuck in that because that is miserable, right?

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Struggling to sleep. It is miserable for me. And what I, what I coach and what I've experienced is that a good night's sleep really starts the day before. So having good habits the day before, you want to make sure that your circadian rhythm is being supported naturally. So getting early morning sunlight is really vital to getting your system into that flow.

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Being mindful in the couple of hours before you go to sleep and having good right sleep hygiene in those places. So make a screen time. We hear about it all the time, but like times, you know, we'll eat dinner at 9 p.m. and then try to go to bed at ten and then our body is using resources to digest and that's taking away from optimal rest.

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So we really want to try to limit eating within 3 hours of going to bed for the better part of my twenties. I think I probably believe this lie that alcohol was going to help me sleep better. So I have a glass of wine or like a lot of times we do that too. We think that it helps us to unwind and calm down and it might help us fall asleep better, right?

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If that's a struggle that we have. But we actually get pretty poor sleep when we have alcohol within a few hours of bedtime. Alcohol stresses our nervous system and it doesn't allow us to reach that peak parasympathetic state, which is when our nervous system is at its most peaceful and calm and safest and restful and that's where we really get good sleep.

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And then the other thing that I've really noticed for myself and that I coach on to is it's so often the last thought that I have the night before is the first thought that I have the next morning. Wow. So it's just being mindful of like, man, if you got those swirling, rolling thoughts the night before, get it out.

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Get it on paper. What are you listening to? Right. What are you consuming? What are you reading? What are you scrolling before you go to bed? Because it'll have an impact on your sleep and your state of mind, I think the next morning. Sure. Yeah. That makes so much sense. Now I'm just thinking about what I'm listening to right before bed.

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Maybe some of it's fear based, I don't know. But I'm definitely going to audit that and change that around. And the alcohol piece is really interesting. You know, we hear such conflicting evidence. Oh, glass of wine a day is amazing, super healthy. But I guess if you're doing it closer to bedtime, it will interrupt your rhythms and getting that deep sleep that's necessary.

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Yeah, exactly. Interesting. Okay. So I saw another episode on your podcast, which I thought was super fascinating. It was entitled Am I Scarring My Kids? If I let them see me cry or see me get angry? Yeah. So you said for the longest time I thought I was protecting my children by hiding my tears and pretending I was fine.

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But the more I learned about nervous system and emotional regulation, the more I realized that as long as I can do in an appropriate way, being vulnerable with my kids and allowing them to witness all my emotions is such a gift to them. That's unbelievable. And it's kind of the opposite of how I was model growing up. So it's only if you get touch on that a little more and why is crying and emoting in front of the kids not a bad thing if you're doing it appropriately.

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Yeah. So I think you hit the nail on the head first where it's just modeling, right? We're giving them an opportunity to see that it is safe and okay to express our emotions. And so many of us never had that modeled for us. And I think, you know, when we talk about an appropriate way to do it is it's scary for my five year old to walk into the room and see me crying.

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Maybe initially that's scary, but it's also really scary and really confusing. If she walks into the room and sees me crying, but then I wipe my tears and she asks me what's wrong? And I'm like, Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. And then I've created this dissonance for her where she's like, Well, did I not see what I saw? Like, it doesn't look fine, It doesn't feel fine, it doesn't seem fine.

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But Mom's telling me that everything's okay here, and we're teaching them that they can't really trust the cues they're picking up on. So we want to teach them right to have high IQ and to be able to do all these things. And then we're giving them another message and what we're actually doing. So what are some ways we can do it that supports them?

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And I think this really goes for all emotions. You know, I teach my kids and a lot of you guys like teach your kids. I'm sure that all of our emotions are okay. It's that we can't do anything we want when those big emotions come up. So I think our kids can handle painful stuff. They can handle scary stuff.

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The thing is, they can't really handle it well on their own, right? So if my you know, if that five year old walks in and sees me crying, it's like, hey, come over here, let's talk about it. You felt sad before? Yeah, I'm feeling sad today. It happens to everyone. And just opening a conversation about it and helping them process what it is that they're witnessing.

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And then I think just two other important things when it comes to our emotions as parents and letting our kids witness that is that one, we have to reassure our safety, right? So if my kids seeing me cry, it's like you're safe. I'm safe, Right? This doesn't mean that I'm going to I don't know, whatever it is that could be scary.

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Doesn't mean that your dad and I are going to separate. It doesn't mean that I'm going to leave. It doesn't mean that I'm going to hurt anyone or whatever it is that you're reaffirming. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad, and you're still really safe here while I have these emotions. And I think the last thing is just a reassurance to our kids that it's not their job to make us feel better.

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And I think we go like, Right, Yeah. We've got to find exactly. Exactly. So just reassuring. Listen, I am having a sad day, but you don't have to do anything to make me feel better. I'm confident it's going to pass. I'm going to do what I need to do. Sit by me. Just hold my hand. That would be awesome.

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But you don't have to make me feel better. You don't have to make me happy or you don't have to do any of these things. And just taking all of that weight off of them. I love the idea of opening up just the conversation because as we know, kids don't have the sort of reasoning capacity to like. They're going to fill in the blanks with maybe some stuff that's really harmful and can stay with them for a long time.

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So, you know, they they might not know Mom's having a hard time at work or what's going on. They're going to create their own story about it. So if you don't tell them what's going on in or share them, hey, it's okay. You know, just having a moment or whatever it is, just opening that dialog. Then as I said, they're going to fill in the blanks and it probably won't be the best story that they're telling themselves.

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I think that's true for sure. That's fine. Thanks for sharing. Okay. I want to move over to relationships. So you talked about before nervous system dysregulation in relationships and pointed to some surprising symptoms people might have and maybe not even realize it. Yeah. What can you touch on some of these symptoms and why do you think they're not so obvious for some people?

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Yeah. So I think why they're not so obvious, I guess to start is that a lot of times when we're experiencing dysregulation, we've been running that pattern for so long that we think it's like, Oh, that's just part of my personality or that's just how I am, or we've just kind of adopted it, right? But it's actually just a pattern.

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We've been running in response to our life experiences or trauma or whatever it is. So I think that's why it goes under the radar. You know, I'm reading right now this book, The Myth of Normal, and it's kind of that same concept, right? It's a myth that all of these things are normal when maybe they're not actually normal.

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It's just that they're common. So some of the signs of dysregulation that can show up and really impact our relationships, trust issues. If you find that you're someone who has a hard time trusting other people, trusting what they say, that they're going to do, what they say, that they're being honest, that's a sign of dysregulation, difficulty setting boundaries.

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That's a sign of dysregulation. Someone who runs a pattern of people pleasing right to their own detriment and self abandonment, that is a sign of dysregulation. Someone who tends to be more anxious or irritable or have that emotional volatility. That's a sign of nervous system dysregulation. And all of those have impacts on our relationships. And maybe sometimes, you know, the partner thinks, Oh, I must be doing something wrong, or she's getting really mad at me or irritable.

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But you know, that can be something inside of you. A dysregulated nervous system that you're just not really realizing. And it's frustrating. You're probably going to be irritable, act out, or be angry at certain times. If you're nervous, system is sort of all over the place. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's. That's tough. So at the personal development school, as you know, a lot of our focus is on relationships and healing and our attachment style.

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We know that childhood dynamics are a big part of how the attachment style is formed. Yeah. Aside from childhood dynamics, why is a dysregulated nervous system contributing to your insecure attachment style? And how does nervous system regulation aid us in becoming more secure? Yeah, so our body is wired right for two main things. I think always it's always going to prioritize safety.

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That's always number one. So it's always scanning to make sure we're safe. And then second is that just, you know, biologically and necessary to our evolution was being part of a group. So we're going to prioritize attachment and love and community and all of these different things. And when those are compromised through through our development. Right, that would cause us or causes nervous system dysregulation because our system is then jumping into this stress response, right.

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Fight or flight or freeze. And as we run these patterns, we're literally changing the circuit that we're that we're operating in the narrow circuit. So there's three different neurological circuits. One is our regulated state where we're using our prefrontal cortex, and that's the part of our brain that allows us to be good human beings and really thrive in relationships, right?

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It's the part of our brain where we can access our highest level communication skills, where we can see other perspectives and listen, you know, hear people out where we can, you know, take into account what's going on around us as far as other people's emotions and kind of reading the room and be perceptive to these things. So when we don't have access to that because we're in a stress response and when we're disregulated, we don't have access to that part of our brain, it literally shuts down because it's not necessary for survival.

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And then we're reacting, right? So then when you find if you're in an anxious attachment style, yeah, you're you're looking for safety and that's your nervous system, that's looking for safety. So you're constantly looking, you know, to be validated and reassured from the outside. You don't really have a good center and core that you can reference and come back to.

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And those are all I mean, you you probably know a lot more about this than I do, but at its core, it's our nervous system not feeling safe. And then what are the mechanisms that we've picked up to help protect against against that? And that's those that are the insecure attachment styles for sure. That makes sense. So one of the things on our journey that everyone I think is looking to do is to deepen connection and communication in our relationship.

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If we're feeling burnt out or disconnected from our partners. How does nervous system balancing exercises play a role in this? And what's a simple exercise someone can do to reconnect with their partner? Yeah, I love that question. So I think ultimately and first it's it's taking accountability, I think, for our responsibility in that disconnection that we're experiencing. So I think the first step is probably just reconnecting to ourselves.

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So if our feeling if we're noticing that we're dissociating or feeling disconnected or burnt out, you know, we're spacing out, we're scrolling more, we're watching a lot of Netflix, we're just like walking into a room not remembering why we're there. Those are all symptoms of being in a dorsal vagal shutdown, which is another neural circuit where our system is just been too overwhelmed.

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And it's like, I want to shut this thing down, right, and disconnect again in order to protect myself. So when you're in a relationship where one or both of you are kind of running that pattern, it would make sense that you would have difficulty connecting with each other. So I think first connecting with your self and there are body based exercise that you can do even in the moment when you notice you're disconnected to bring you back to a more regulated state.

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Our nervous system doesn't speak a verbal language, So, so often we want to tell ourselves like, Hey, just calm down or Hey, it's not a big deal, or Hey, get over this, or Hey, whatever, right? And it's like, we can say these things to ourselves, but our heart still racing or we're still feeling really activated. It doesn't necessarily make us feel better.

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So we have to communicate with our body in the way that it understands, which is by showing it, not telling it. So that we do that through movement. We do that through sound, we do that through touch, we do that through breathwork. So there's different things that you can do to get back in your body. Your body responds really well to temperature changes.

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So literally, just like filling a bowl of ice water and dunking that did it for you. SECONDS Yeah, you're holding ice cubes or like go to your freezer and grab a frozen bag of vegetables and hold it to the back of your neck. That helps bring your awareness back to your body and it will help regulate you and bring you out if you're feeling disconnected as it relates to your relationship.

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As I was thinking about this, I'm like, Man, I think so often when we're feeling disconnected from our partners, we can really quickly jump into a victim mentality, right? Like they don't get me or This is so hard or I do whatever it is. Yeah, Whenever I'm coaching clients and kind of like hear that coming through and I use this for myself too, it's like, what an opportunity to shift from victim into vulnerability and approaching your partner and being like, Hey, this is what I'm noticing and I don't like it either, right?

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It doesn't feel good and just getting really vulnerable all And how can we do some things together that will help rekindle that connection? How can we get well or better, I mean, individually and then also together? And I think that that opens up a whole realm of healing, right? Again, it's communication opening that up in a very non, you know, judgmental or non accusatory way.

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It's just, hey, can we talk about this? Something's coming out for me. Yeah. Yeah. And I love what you said before about the nervous system doesn't just take instructions. You can't just be like, okay, calm down or, you know, kind of talk yourself out of it. You have to sort of like model what you need done in order to calm your nervous system.

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I had a shift in my head when you mentioned that as well. I've been doing cold showers for the for a month. That's my my challenge and it really works. I'm telling you, it's not the most fun, but you're going to save on your water bill because you're in and out of there super quick. But B, there's a lot of days where I'm kind of maybe dragging my butt and I'm like, Oh man, I got to do this.

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I got to do that. I'll take one of these quick cold showers and I'm back in the game and I feel good and I'm not so nervous. And it really does work. So it's it's definitely something to check out. Yeah, it's awesome. Okay. On your website, it says you're married to the world's sweetest husband. That's quite the achievement.

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To do that, to gain that title. I was wondering if you can let our viewers know what it is about your husband or the dynamic that both of you have co-created that makes this such a successful relationship? Yeah, we have been together for 18 years. I think we've been married for almost 15. Yeah. So it's been a minute and I do think it's a successful relationship.

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Like, I'm really proud of it because marriage ain't no joke. It's it's hard sometimes, but I think some of the things that have really contribute to our success and longevity is that we have really good boundaries and we it's always something before really knowing that they were boundaries. It's always something that we've really prioritized. I think we really we have good boundaries around how we communicate with each other, how we talk about each other.

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We have good boundaries, even about respect in each other's privacy. In 20 years, I've never opened his mail and he doesn't open mine. Just different things, right? That just show these boundaries. We've had boundaries around our commitment. We're just both. We're like, We're in this for life. So we are not we never drop the D-word, we never hint at it.

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We never even talk about it as an option because we just set a boundary that that's not an option we're willing to discuss. And then I think the second part to it, there's a lot of parts, but I think one of my favorites is just that we really, truly have come to a place where we just let each other be how we are.

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Yeah, like we are so different. Especially when I met my husband. He's like, he was writing a book and he was like, he loved writing poetry and he had like a typewriter. That's like 2006, you know, like you have a computer and you guys weren't Doc Martin's and white t shirts and a red Jack Kerouac. And he was like, this easygoing, free flowing guy.

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So different than my high strung type A self. But neither of us, I'm just so grateful felt that we had to control or change the other one. And that's really given us a lot of freedom to appreciate how we complement each other, but also grow in our ability to sit and live and love someone who's so different. Yeah, that's that's awesome and really inspiring.

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And I love how. Yeah, just the acceptance piece because you're like a go getter and you get stuff done and you know, you're creating this amazing empire with, with what you're doing here. And I would think would be it would be easy to be all I want my partner to be, you know, more motivated and help me get to this or whatever.

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But you're sort of I'm still my own independent person with my hopes, dreams and aspirations. He's his own person who has his own hopes, dreams, aspirations. And you're not trying to force that on each other. It's the acceptance piece. That's it's amazing. I love that. Yeah, I love how you guys are so different. But the relationship is great because sometimes I can get caught up and take an hour to different or we like different stuff and I don't know if that will last long term, but but it can as long as you support that he's got his own likes and interests and you have yours, then why not be able to come together in the

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middle, right? Yeah. And I think you do need a core that's the same. Right. We have very similar values and we have very solid like things like that. So I, I don't think you're wrong, but I just think there's a lot of things that we think are more important than they are. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can I just ask a quick sidebar question that just popped in my head?

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Okay. Before you had kids, was there a long discussion on how you were going to parent the kids or was it kind of more of like a you know, we we're pretty good at problem solving together up until now. So I know once we have kids, it should be sort of the same. We're both people have input in how we're going to do it.

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Yeah, that's a great question. I don't remember ever sitting down and explicitly having a conversation and I don't know, looking back, if I would even recommend that to two people who are about to become new parents because your kids are so different. Right? And they just bring up all these different things. And when I'm well resourced, I respond to my kids very differently than when I'm not well-resourced.

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They're taking care of myself. Yeah, but I think it comes back to those boundaries and values. If we're going to raise a house where, you know, loving each other unconditionally and respecting each other at our deepest level is the value. I don't really care how you go about doing that. I don't care what parenting philosophy or disciplinary tactics you take.

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If you're going to love my kids, our kids, and you're going to, you know, care for them and respect them, we'll figure it out. A lot of that. That's great. Thank you for sharing. Sure. So you're a certified nervous system fitness coach for anyone who's never heard of nervous system fitness, what is that and what does that involve?

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We talk obviously a lot about physical fitness and then we talk about emotional health and mental health. But there's so many other systems in our body are we talked about like digestive health and digestive fitness. So I really focus on nervous system fitness and it's really just optimize using the functioning of our nervous system. So a lot of it is, you know, habit based and daily practices and growing in awareness, all to support a healthy functioning of our nervous system because at its core that is the root of everything else we do.

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You want to set any goals you want change, any habits, you want to show up in a new way. Good luck doing any of that if your nervous system is not on board. So it's really just helping our nervous system find a place of safety and being able to get back there. When we notice we're disregulated in a way that is efficient so we don't get stuck in the ups and downs.

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Yeah, that's wonderful. I got $1,000,000 idea. We open a chain of nervous system fitness gyms. When people go in there and they get led in nervous system exercises. Yeah, I think that's brilliant. I come from a legal background. I'm like, Man, I want to go through the whole legal field and teach these skills. It is being used a lot in gyms and physical fitness because things like procrastination or all these things that kind of pop up when we don't want to do the things that we ultimately do want to do are all rooted in nervous system health for sure.

00;27;15;00 - 00;27;37;11

For sure. So why would you say somatic based work so important in healing and not just using mental approaches to effecting positive change? Yeah. So only 20% of the nerves in our body actually run from our brain down to our body. Right? That's why when we were talking about telling yourself to calm down or someone else tells you to calm down, that's like even worse.

00;27;37;13 - 00;27;55;27

That's why it's not particularly effective because 80% of the messaging in your body is coming from the body up to the brain. So if there's something in your body that's not feeling safe or is that is being triggered right back to some traumatic event or something that you experienced, all of that messaging going up to your brain is we're not safe.

00;27;55;28 - 00;28;10;16

We're not saying we're not safe. And there's only so much that you can do if you're only working from a neck up, Right. It's going like a 4 to 1 tug of war. It's gonna be hard to win. So you want to make sure that you're including everything. Your whole body is, like we say, mind body coaching or mind body healing.

00;28;10;16 - 00;28;35;24

But it's really all our body. It's all connected. So you want to make sure that you you include everything from the neck down. Also. And I think part of it, too, is when we even the name of my podcast is the call Mom and I really struggled in choosing that because I do not want to be part of this, perpetuating this idea that the goal is to be calm all the time because it's not right.

00;28;35;24 - 00;28;55;24

That's actually not healthy nervous system. What we want is a nervous system that's resilient. So I can experience anger and I can experience sadness, but I have tools that can bring my nervous system back to regulation. I'm resilient. And the way that we grow our capacity to hold more life, which is ultimately what we all want to do.

00;28;55;24 - 00;29;10;27

It's like, I don't want I want my kids to just go away. I want them in my life and I want to experience all of these other things. I just wanna be able to do it without being disregulated. So we have to include our body in that growing our somatic body to be able to hold more life. Really?

00;29;11;00 - 00;29;33;25

Sure, sure. That's great. So we love to ask people what they're doing on a daily basis to stay grounded, centered in a good place mentally. You have a podcast where you talk about your five step morning routine that changed your life. Definitely invite viewers to listen to the Car Mom podcast and check out that episode. But do you want to tell us a little bit about your morning routine and how that looks for you?

00;29;33;27 - 00;29;51;02

So I'll caveat this by saying that I am a morning person and I know that's not true for everyone and that's there's no shame in that game you share with the audience what time you get up every day. You told me, Oh, I get up at three, I go around four between four and four. But I also I'm just like last night I was asleep by 845.

00;29;51;02 - 00;30;09;06

So it's like I'm still getting the same weight and it's on a different schedule. So I say all of that to say that if you're not a morning person, no pressure. But I do think that if you have kids waking up before, your kids will change your life. If you start with just five or 10 minutes, that's awesome.

00;30;09;06 - 00;30;28;23

If you can build up to an hour, great. But really creating space to pour into yourself before you have to take care of anyone else is huge. And it's made such a difference for me and then just being intentional about that time. So for me, like this five step morning routine, I would say I probably do three other steps every day and then the other two steps if I have the time.

00;30;28;23 - 00;30;53;02

But it's really just creating time of stillness, quiet silence, not jumping straight into noise or being stimulated, trying to get some reading done every day. Like even if it's just a few pages, some journaling, some affirmations that, you know, I kind of change around monthly and then moving my body. And that has that has really made a difference in all aspects of my health.

00;30;53;02 - 00;31;23;15

Just being consistent in that. Yeah, I imagine. Okay, so we're coming towards the end of the podcast. I just want to ask you, do you have a tool or a strategy or a mindset shift you can share with our audience that can kind of help them in their everyday life? Yeah, so one of my favorites, and I think this is really powerful for parents, but I think it's just really powerful for anyone like all of us as human beings, is this shift from judgment to curiosity.

00;31;23;17 - 00;31;43;14

And I think so often we're quick, right? These are the patterns that we run up and we don't even have this awareness. So just growing in that initially how quick we are to jump to judgment, whether it's something our kids do, our kids say, our partner or ourselves, right? Man, I never yelled at my kids this morning. It's like judgment comes so quick, right?

00;31;43;14 - 00;31;59;00

Like, I'm such a bad mom, I'm going to ruin my kids forever. They're never going to forgive me. They're going to need therapy for their whole life or whatever. But just allowing ourselves to catch that when that urge comes up and then shift it to curiosity. Wow. I snapped at my kids this morning like, what was going on there?

00;31;59;03 - 00;32;19;29

Oh, maybe it's because I slept 2 hours last night because my oldest was sick. Or maybe it's because I had this big thing going on at work. Or maybe because there's a conversation I know I need to have that I'm putting off that's causing me stress, right? Everything we do, there's a reason behind it. So I think starting to grow in that awareness, how we parent our kids, why they're showing up, how they're showing up, doing what they're doing.

00;32;20;01 - 00;32;41;05

I think that shifts like big time. It changes how we see the world. Sure, that's amazing because yeah, in one way you're just beating yourself up and, you know, saying bad stuff about yourself and then nothing gets resolved. You don't get to the root and you're probably more apt to do that again. But the other kind is more compassion and curiosity.

00;32;41;07 - 00;32;59;10

And then you get to find out, hey, what's really going on there? And hey, how can I ensure that this won't happen next time? So that yeah, that's a really great shift. I'm going to start using that. Okay, so we've covered a lot. Thank you so much. Is there anything else you want to share with our audience or moms or anyone else out there listening?

00;32;59;13 - 00;33;19;17

I think, Jess, if you're listening to this as a mom and you're like, it's just so hard. I just want to affirm that and that it feels like it's hard because it is. It's not because you're not cut out for it. It's not because you're doing it wrong. It's not because you're not equipped. It's not because your kids are all jacked up.

00;33;19;24 - 00;33;49;23

It's just because it's hard. And that's okay. We got to get to a place where we're like, we can do hard things and it's okay. It doesn't have to always be hard, but it's a huge project. It's a lifelong project. We've, you know, we've taken on. So if that's any encouragement to anyone, just understanding that, you know, it's not, it's not you, but that it's just such a massive undertaking to raise human beings and then just allowing yourself to sit in that and be okay with it for sure.

00;33;49;24 - 00;34;08;08

Very well said. Hmm. Okay. And Michelle, how can people get in touch with you and where can they find you on the interwebs and the interwebs? The best place to connect is really the podcast, the car. Mom, There's just so many free resources there. And if you've struggled with anxiety or overwhelm or burnout out, great place to start.

00;34;08;10 - 00;34;28;02

You can find me on my website. Michelle Grocer dot com There's also a really great quiz there, a personality pattern quiz about how our own childhood really has an impact on how we're showing up in the patterns or running in adulthood. And then I'm on Instagram at Michelle. Grocer Dot Coach Perfect. Michelle, thank you so much for your time.

00;34;28;02 - 00;34;42;07

This is really enjoyable for me and I hope our audience like that as well. And yeah, just thanks again for being here. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having me. Mike is great. Everyone, thanks for listening today. And as always, good luck on your healing journey.