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Hello and welcome to the Personal Development School Podcast. I'm your host. Thais Gibson, and I create regular podcast episodes to teach you about your relationships, attachment style and the subconscious mind.

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My goal of this podcast is to give you tools and awareness you need to thrive in your relationships, feel deeply connected, and find harmony fulfillment in your relationships and personal life.
So I hope you tune in here with me each and every week.

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Want to talk to you about the top five strengths and weaknesses of the fearful, avoidant attachment style individual in the workplace specifically. So we talk a lot on the channel about attachment cells and how they pertain to romantic relationships. But our attachment styles, especially in our developed attachment theory work, which is called integrated attachment theory, we talk a lot about how we sort of acquire these subconscious programs from the way we attach to our caregivers in childhood and how these programs are our minds programs in other words, we're going to bring this programing into all of the seven areas of our lives.

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And so whatever is unresolved from childhood or whatever programs and beliefs we're carrying, whatever wounds, whatever unmet needs, these things are going to spill into all seven areas. And you'll actually really see a strong correlation with how we show that based on our attachment style in our careers specifically. So some of the most common strengths and weaknesses you're going to see, our number one cheerful ones tend to be very attuned to others and very quick at really noticing incongruity.

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So changes in patterns, anything that doesn't line up. And I mean, this can be something that sometimes makes romantic relationships challenging because if we have core wounds and then we give people meaning to when we notice those incongruities that can be triggering and cause distrust. But in the workplace, this can be a superpower at times because you can notice, you know, if something's changing and you're a lawyer, if something's not right and you're looking for patterns, that's a doctor or, you know, there can be so many different careers.

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What really makes a huge difference, I mean, we could name a huge list of careers, but you can sort of check in and see what your career is and how this may serve you in that field specifically. I know for me personally, I used to be fearful, avoid it. And, you know, then working with clients in a client based practice for so long, I would always notice patterns and little changes and subtleties of things.

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And it was very beneficial in that way. But I did a lot of the core laundry programing, so I wouldn't give it people meaning. I would be able to see changes and patterns and then ask deeper questions to extract more and more information. So really important sort of tip there. Another thing that tends to happen is trouble avoidance.

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One of the bits of strength number two is your viewpoints tend to work well outside of their comfort zone. This to be lost sometimes because you're wooden sometimes and you'll see this. We'll talk about the challenges after in more detail, but you'll hear this challenge. And sometimes it can be to the point where you're like always outside of your comfort zone and need to learn to like, have a little more staying power and and have more stability and routine and structure.

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But you're going to tend to like always be pushing themselves outside of their comfort zone in some form and tend to essentially be very, very adaptable. And a lot of this comes from having a childhood where that was familiar to you. That is your comfort zone, is to be outside of a comfort zone. And if there was a lot of chaos in childhood, then that can make you very adaptable in your adult life.

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Number three fearful ones tend to be very empathetic of other people and can empathize with the opinions of others. We can see this diminish a little bit when if you're always a little bit more triggered. But as a general rule, they tend to be really good at doing this. And, you know, this can really help for like seeing, you know, what other people are needing in the workplace and working as a team and also empathizing with different perspectives and bringing in New perspectives and opinions to something that you're building or growing or creating.

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Number four, cheerful ones tend to be good at being very analytical, but also good at being emotionally intelligent. So they have that side of them where they can really buckle down and really become analytical and focus on sort of the intellectual components of work as a whole, but then can also relate from an emotional perspective. So they can have that sort of like detail oriented perspective, but also emotionally intelligent perspective and strength.

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Number five is that fearful avoidance tend to be very, very good as a general rule

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at finding things they like to do for work when if you wanting more of a Trump a traumatized state. So when they're in like a more like constant like fight or flight freeze or fun mode or they're they haven't regulated themselves yet or done a lot of self-growth work, sometimes people would love a pretty clear idea about what they want.

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They may not be taking the steps to get there because they may be in survival mode. They haven't really reprogramed a lot of the trauma and done some some somatic work and self-regulation work. But when they are in a position where they're more regulated, they usually end up in careers. They really align with because freedom is so important to them as a general rule that they often won't want to feel trapped.

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The poor wound from childhood being in a career that they don't like. And so they usually will move away from things like that and be very determined and hardworking to take the steps necessary to do things that they want to feel like going free, like I'm doing something for work that I like, I enjoy it. That gives me a sense of personal freedom.

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So those are top of those are five of the top strengths. Now I'm going to dive into the top five of the top challenges that you may face. And

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some of the weaknesses are number one, drift avoidance can get more emotionally disregulated more easily, so you may find yourself being in a position where you are doing amazing when you're regulated, but then it's almost like this like element of self-sabotage. Like if your subconscious comfort zone is chaos, sometimes the subconscious mind will accidently look for chaos or recreate chaos in different forms.

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They can then like cause frustration or challenges in the workplace. And and obviously that sort of spills into everything. And also because if you're going to have more claw wounds until you're reprograming those core ones that are going to show up at work too, you'll see your whole once your being helpless at work, trapped, powerless, the worry the bad and will often people pleased as a result.

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So this brings me to number two is sometimes effort can be people pleasers

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to a strong enough degree where they'll then eventually develop frustration or resistance or eventually become angry and sort of like try to and people pleasing and tell people how they feel and especially if they're feeling like disrespected, which is another poor wound, then you'll see these things sort of like come out that way and can come out and sort of like unhealthy forms or they're not communicating in the best way possible by communicating proactively and not people pleasing.

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Number three, and I was sort of mentioned this earlier, is for avoidance sometimes. Good luck staying power. It's fairly common for fear of avoidance because they they in childhood don't think that they can get their needs met because often travel warnings didn't get their needs met from childhood. It's almost like you assume you won't get your needs met when your needs are not being met.

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So fearful ones like Let me give you an example. Let's say you're in a career and you don't like what's happening. Maybe there's been some new hires or a new boss or new changes rather than thinking, Oh, I should talk it out, I should set a boundary, I should have a conversation, I should ask for my needs, maybe to work different hours or a different shift or something like that.

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Rather than thinking it's a solvable problem, shareholders will sort of see this as like a black and white situation, like an all or nothing. It's a term, it's a form of cognitive distortion, black and white thinking, which is like you see it just one way or just the other. And so you'll think, Oh, my needs are being met.

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So then this job, no longer works for me. Rather than seeing this gray area in between where you can actually go and have a conversation and say, Hey, you know, there's been some changes here or some needs or here's a boundary, can I change shifts or can I, you know, and finding that gray area to actually make things move in a direction that suitable for you.

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So sometimes you're able will just like cut in and leave because they don't think they can speak up, they don't think it's going to work anyways. And that can be disempowering at times. Number four, clairvoyance can sometimes become tunnel vision. Sometimes this is a strength. And we could say like on the positive side, it's laser focused. On the negative side.

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We can say tunnel vision, like unwilling to see other possibilities or unwilling to detach from this like idea or concept that they can be so strongly connected to when they've sort of made up their mind. And sometimes that can prevent you from seeing things that may be important to take into consideration. And number five, last but not least, fearful beings can be in a position where they can be suspicious or untrusting of other people or situations at work.

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And this can lead them to sometimes to become controlling of themselves. Their work, controlling of others at certain times to a certain degree, or really fear being controlled by others and then really push people away and try to like, overstep boundaries at times as well. So you'll see that can be a very common theme or threat as well.