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Hello and welcome to the Personal Development School Podcast. I'm your host. thais Gibson and I create regular podcast episodes to teach you about your relationships, attachment style and the subconscious mind.

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My goal of this podcast is to give you tools and awareness you need to thrive in your relationships, feel deeply connected,and find harmony fulfillment in your relationships and personal life. So I hope you tune in here with me each and every week.

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I want to talk to you a little bit about how your attachment style affects you in the workplace. So the first thing you want to know is that your attachment style affects all areas of your life. It's not just your romantic relationships. It's the way you interact with friendships and the wounds and fears needs that come up in those areas.

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It's the way you interact with all of your family relationships and your children, which obviously are part of your family relationships. But then this also spills into the other areas of our life. It's not just centralized in the relationship area. This affects our career. This affects our relationship to money. And just here are some reasons to recognize this.

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If you have a belief that I am undeserving because you have, let's say, an anxious, preoccupied attachment style or fearful, avoidant, leaning, anxious, and you have these core wounds and you'll think you're good enough or worthy, then if we don't believe we're worthy at a subconscious level, that is going to spill into our relationship with money, we're going to block receiving.

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We're not going to ask for the raise, we're not going to take opportunities and so on and so forth. So this spills into all seven areas of life to a certain degree in one way or another. Our relationship to our physical health, to our body, to people in our spiritual community, if we go to church or we have some sort of spiritual practice, literally it goes into everything.

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Now, what I want to focus on in this video is talking about how your attachment style affects you at work specifically. So in the career area. And I'm going to touch on a few key things here that are really important to recognize. So number one, your attachment style affects your working habits. Number two, your attachment style affects the strengths and weaknesses you naturally have, right?

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Let's look at it for a second. Certain attachment styles are going to have an easier time with boundaries, more avoidance, just especially dismissive, avoided are going to be great with setting boundaries and being able to buckle down and focus and get things done. Anxious, preoccupied and fearful avoidance. I often see them trapped in situations where they are doing other people's work or they are letting people emotionally dump on them and they feel really obligated to be there for people.

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24 seven at the expense of being able to get some of their own work done, and they're taking work home with them at the end of the night. Or we can look at how fearful avoidance they're really resourceful, really good at perceiving or even from a strengths perspective, But they can really struggle at vulnerably communicating and saying, Hey, I need help and support and anxious, preoccupied individuals are great team players are very encouraging of other people, but they can be really sensitive to feeling disliked in the work environment and they can ruminate about this to the point where they actually, again have a hard time focusing on their work and getting things done.

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If there's some kind of lack of emotional resolution in the workplace, dismissive avoidance, they can be very independent, really great at working on their own, but sometimes they can struggle to work in teams. So there are all these ways that different attachment styles literally affect our relationship to the workplace. So those are three of our habits, our strengths, our weaknesses, just to give you some very high level examples.

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And by the way, if you want to do a deep dive into this at any point I a full course on this, it's a very long, in-depth course. There is, I think, a 30 page workbook in it, but just profiles each attachment style, their habits, strengths, weaknesses and literally all these different things we're going to cover. And then we talk about reprograming tools at the end and have reprograming exercises to help break through any limitations that are showing up in your relationship to work.

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another one time management. Okay. Think of time management as being like where you lose time. We have predisposed patterns to losing time based on our internal attachment style.

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Because think of your attachments as being like the subconscious set of rules you use to relate to other people, and that's going to have an impact as well as your own on your own needs, your own fears, your own core wounds, your subconscious expectations of others. Like all of these things are intertwined within our attachment style. And so when we look at time management for example, where do you lose time?

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Well, it's a boundary thing for anxious, preoccupied individuals a lot. They can lose time sometimes getting involved in like chatting with other people, spending a lot of time in like the social aspect of work, which in some ways can be beneficial, but obviously can also have its downsides. Sometimes anxious about individuals and fearful avoidance as well, to a certain degree can get lost in the interpersonal dynamics of work, get lost in like gossip and things like that, because they're they almost need emotional connection and validation so much from work, just from anywhere in their environment, really.

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But of course, wherever there's a community or group dynamic that they can sometimes go down like the Gossip Rabbit hole literally as a subconscious strategy to achieve emotional connection.

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But also as a survival measure to connect in the workplace and not be abandoned or excluded are all these different things that they're so afraid of feeling.

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And again, that can stop them from being really focused on like what they want to create, what they want to achieve, what new opportunities they want to have, what new positions they want to take on, all these different things. And it's okay if you're not like super focused on the career area of your life. Like people are going to be always focused on different things, but it's important to recognize where your attachment settles down sides are so you can, you know, make healthy choices to reprogram anything if it's not serving you and you can feel like you're really getting fulfilled in this area.

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So so you have the full opportunity to reach your potential of needed, if that makes sense. So we have number one habits, two strengths, and our three weaknesses. Number four, time management. Sometimes days, for example, can get lost in the details, but not so much the interpersonal dynamics. Sometimes you need to spend more time in the interpersonal dynamics to network more often.

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Number five, we have fears, and fears are largely based on record wounds. Fearful avoidance, for example, usually have One of their many fears in the workplace is fear of losing control or being control. And that can sometimes struggle with authority figures or their boss anxious, preoccupied. Another huge fear of being disliked. Right? Dismissive avoidance can have a huge fear of being publicly shamed or humiliated, which is sometimes why they won't participate in group dynamics or raise their hand in presentations to communicate their opinions.

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They also can really fear being inadequate. And again, I'm just giving you guys a few just to like get your thoughts rolling so you can kind of like think about it. But if you want to do a deep dive in this, we have like I think there's like ten or 12 examples for each thing

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Our next one is how they work with other people like what are, what are the some of the patterns in terms of how you work with other people that are going to show up? Are you great with people? Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel afraid? Do you need to reprogram your fears? Do you feel like you're always people pleasing other people and then feeling resentful?

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Like what are your patterns when it comes to working with others needs is our next one needs in the workplace are huge, right? It's like you ever. But this is going to determine like how you feel fulfilled in the workplace, how you feel excited, inspired the work you want to do. When we're aligned with our needs, we naturally work better and we naturally focus for longer periods of time and we naturally procrastinate less.

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But think about it for a second. Let's look at me. You know, I'm really aligned with my needs at work. Like I love talking to people. I love having my freedom and autonomy to work at my own pace and in my own way and create my own things. I love the creative element of work and like creating content I absolutely love like my heart loves personal development and emotional connection.

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And so, like, you know, I procrastinate very little because I like work. And it feels like even on, like, a day off, my God, you know, I could work anyways, Like, it wouldn't affect me in that way. So, so, you know, we can look at that. But then imagine instead that I'm an accountant and I can't talk to people.

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I can't talk about human behavior and personal growth, you know, and I'm, I'm abs like accountants are amazing. Like what? Forgetting like if important job seriously. But like, if that the people who are going to be the most successful accountants are going to be the people who love that that time alone love to like really dig into numbers and focus in on things.

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Love learning about those types of topics, love thinking in a more systematic way. They're going to have a different set of needs. And if you try to mix people in separate places that are out of alignment with needs is going to be very difficult. You'd see somebody who has a lot of needs that align with something like accounting, for example, maybe struggle to like be talking to people are doing live webinars in life, things about this kind of stuff.

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Maybe not, but most likely the majority of the time and myself, if I were to go be an accountant, I couldn't have people interaction, I couldn't create content, I couldn't talk about the stuff that I loved, then I would really struggle. And so we have to see like, what are some of our needs for our attachments on how do these things play into our productivity focus, ability to like, reach our highest potential in each of these areas.

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Another way that your attachments that affects your work is how you handle conflict and make decisions right. We we naturally see days are a little more conflict avoidant and that often needs a lot of reprograming that is a huge limitation in the workplace. You will hit a glass ceiling if you are conflict avoidant. And I say this to everybody, we have to be able to work through conflicts like we have to in order to lead a productive, successful life in career, in finances, in all of our relationships.

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Because conflict is going to happen. Conflict is just whenever there's a perceived imbalance of space, time, energy matter, and where there's a misunderstanding or a lack of needs being communicated. And if we never resolve conflict, all we do is just build up this like resentment in the background and it just creates problems. And then we either avoid people or we don't like them, or we're unhappy in our workplace or in our relationships or wherever it might be like we all have to as human beings to reach our potential.

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We all have to be good at conflict. We have to figure it out. And so again, there's like tons of resources inside the school for that. Communication scripts do conflict. The whole conflict resolution course, like tons of stuff. I put stuff on this channel for you guys to like, but that is so important for all areas of life.

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So do you sometimes avoid conflict? Anxious, preoccupied? Can people please in conflict to try to pass through conflict too quickly without taking themselves into consideration and fearful avoidance? Usually people please to the extent that it then creates inner conflicts because then they feel like their needs are met and they go through a cycle of creating their own conflict by not speaking up, not sharing themselves, feeling frustrated, feeling resentful, and then getting angry and then feeling guilty.

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And then they go back through the conflict cycle because then they feel guilty. So they people please. And then they then they get angry, get frustrated again feeling like there's an imbalance because they're giving and not getting. And then they get mad. And that just rehashes through that cycle over and over again. The things that motivate you in your workplace are affected by your attachments.

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And then the last but not least for this video, of course, are triggers. So the different things that will trigger you. For some people it's an injustice. For some people it's being excluded. For some people it's being criticized. For some people it is being put down in some form or feeling like they're not being communicated to directly feeling like they don't have control.

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There's all these different dynamics. So please know that your attachment style affects you in the workplace and police are taking inventory. Check it out. Notice some of the patterns that come up for you. Well, listen back to this video. See, like what things pop out at you as you hear each of these different main things. One, it's really important to focus in on and remember, all these things can be reprogramed you are not stuck this way.

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These are just patterns that exist within your psyche because of preprogramed experiences that imprinted you and just like you were imprinted, you can be an imprinted, if not the word. Really. The word is reprogram.