[00:00:00] Renee Scotty: And at first I really did not like meeting my needs myself. Like when I, I was just like, oh, this is not gonna work. I can't get, you know, my need met for physical affection by like, you know, wearing comfy socks and hugging myself. Like it. I just, it seemed crazy to me, right. But I kept on doing it and it was really amazing.

[00:00:17] Renee Scotty: I just felt so comfortable in my. Skin. So grounded, so centered, so focused. That was the biggest thing. Cause I do have a D H D. And once I met those needs and started healing, I realized how focused my attention got. I could accomplish more things. I could sit down and concentrate so much better. It was amazing.

[00:00:35] Thais Gibson: Hello and welcome to the personal developments. School podcast. I am so excited you're here. I am your co-host, Tae Gibson, along with our new special host, Mike Dzio. This is a podcast that discusses everything related to integrated attachment theory, the new attachment theory, along with the subconscious mind relationships.

[00:00:57] Thais Gibson: Communication needs, boundaries, and so much more. Throughout this podcast, you'll see a series of episodes I upload with new information, educational tips, all about how to thrive in relationships and really master your emotional state in your life, along with special guests hosted by Mike Dzio to discuss all of these amazing topics and some longer form content.
[00:01:18] Thais Gibson: Thank you so much for being here, and I really hope you enjoy this episode.

[00:01:27] Mike DiZio: Hello everyone and welcome to the Personal Development School podcast. My name's Mike and I'm your host. I'm excited to bring you another amazing podcast today, and we have a guest, a special guest that I'll introduce in a moment. I'd like to just give you a little bit of background on her first. So her name is Renee Scotty, and Renee has worked as a physical therapist assistant on a variety of settings.

[00:01:50] Mike DiZio: She's a certified yoga, yoga, Nedra, meditation, and breathwork instructor. She's gotten to use many of the tools she's learned in an alcohol, drug and trauma rehabilitation center. She's a certified life coach, an integrated attachment theory coach, and a specialty in A D H D coaching. Renee is passionate about empowering others to live their best life and after overcoming many of her own struggles in her life.

[00:02:18] Mike DiZio: And finding healing through the methods she shares in her programs. She's excited to share these tools with members of the personal development school and her coaching clients. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Renee Scotty. Hi Renee. How you doing today? 

[00:02:33] Renee Scotty: Hi. Hi everyone. So great to be here with you, Mike.
[00:02:35] Renee Scotty: Thank 

[00:02:36] Mike DiZio: you. Of course. Love having you here. So Renee, just to start out, you know, I know a lot of members of the personal development school will know you and know about your background, but for anyone who hasn't heard of you before, do you want to just give us a brief synopsis of your background? 
[00:02:49] Renee Scotty: Yeah, sure.

[00:02:50] Renee Scotty: So I started off working in physical therapy. Like you mentioned, a physical therapist assistant, so working mainly with the body. I worked in a hospital setting and then all different areas associated with that hospital. So I got to do a variety of things and I was in that system working with physical therapy for about 20 years or so.

[00:03:09] Renee Scotty: So it was really great and it kind of led me to find my way to yoga. And when I found my way to yoga, then I did more of a spiritual dive into some yoga, spirituality. And then after that I ended up, after some different events happened, and I also taught yoga, breath work, meditation in the trauma center.

[00:03:29] Renee Scotty: And then it kind of led me to do More healing on a deeper mental emotional level. And that's when I found p d s and started doing that kind of work cuz something was still missing. After I did the spirituality, I felt, still felt like there was still more that could improve in my life. So that's when I found those tools and got really excited about them.

[00:03:47] Renee Scotty: Became a certified life coach, and then did the attachment training theory with Tye, which was amazing and I loved it. 

[00:03:54] Mike DiZio: Oh, that's great. That's such a wonderful background. So you mentioned, you know, you were working with people's physical injuries for about 20 years or so. Mm-hmm. And then you've done a lot of your own inner healing work with yoga, spirituality and things like that.

[00:04:07] Mike DiZio: I just wanna know like how is working with your mental state and emotions like just as important for healing as kind of looking at the physical aspect of needing to heal? 

[00:04:18] Renee Scotty: Yeah, such a great question. So true. Yeah, I really was really looking at things through the lens of just like the physical body and nutrition when I started out, like just feeding the body and, you know, taking good care of the physical body.

[00:04:30] Renee Scotty: I, I was really missing that mental piece and I realized through my journey that it's so important. And like you said, probably more important. They're all important. Of course, all the pieces, but definitely the mental, emotional. When you don't have a stable emotional state when you haven't worked on your different the different traumas that have come up in your life, it really affects you physically.

[00:04:52] Renee Scotty: So you cannot just skip that part of the mental emotional. Which I was kind of doing, when I did the deep dive into the spiritual, I realized that there was still so much more that needed to be that I needed to work on. I needed to go into and find the root cause of why I was feeling the way I was feeling.

[00:05:09] Renee Scotty: So yeah. So when I did yoga therapy, it kind of brought those two worlds together for me, like realizing that a lot of things are caused by your, your mental state and your emotional state. Absolutely. And that carries your body. Yeah, definitely. 

[00:05:21] Mike DiZio: Definitely. I've had periods in my life where sort of phantom injuries pop up and coincidentally it's during the periods where I'm having the most problems or sort of situations going on in the background.

[00:05:32] Mike DiZio: So and that's really neat how, like the trauma centers and the rehab centers, were they open right away to you sort of using these sort of alternative therapies? Were they open to it or did you have to sort of sell them on it 
[00:05:43] Renee Scotty: first? Yeah, no, I was very lucky. Like I had some other people that kind of paved the way for that.

[00:05:49] Renee Scotty: Like, and some of the, a lot of the people that worked there were therapists that had sort of a spiritual background in yoga and had already been bringing that into their practice. And the center was kind of known for that, like, to do that, the healing on all the different levels. So it was, it was so nice.
[00:06:05] Renee Scotty: I could just bring in what I knew and it was, it was ready for it. So the clients were ready for that. 

[00:06:11] Mike DiZio: Wow. That's really beautiful. Yeah. So let's talk about you a little more like, I want to know, like, what was the catalyst in your own life that sort of opened you up to your own personal healing journey?

[00:06:21] Mike DiZio: Was there like a rock bottom moment? Was there a situation that happened or a moment where like you just had enough and you know, you needed to make changes? What was it that really like propelled you to sort of dive into your own personal healing journey? Mm. 

[00:06:35] Renee Scotty: Yeah. Such a great question. For me, what really brought me to go deeper was I was a ap anxious preoccupied definitely.

[00:06:44] Renee Scotty: So I had a lot of pain, like my relationships were very painful when they didn't work out. And so that was the catalyst that brought me to. First find p d s I had a friend that recommended it to me. I think she shared a video with me and then I started realizing, wow, this is the work that I need to do.

[00:07:00] Renee Scotty: This is the missing piece, and, and this is where I need to go next, because yeah, there was so much pain after a breakup. Right. So, 
[00:07:09] Mike DiZio: so it was sort of like a pattern of things. It wasn't just one relationship, it was sort of the same types of things were happening over and over and you were like, okay, yeah, 

[00:07:18] Renee Scotty: that, yeah, it was like a a pattern in the relationship that I would get so lost, like after the breakup, I would just really lose myself in the relationship and then afterwards it would take me such a long time to come back to where I could feel balanced because I would just put everything into my partner.

[00:07:34] Renee Scotty: Like that was the most important thing to me being an ap. Right. All my attention was focused on my partner, not myself. And so I didn't really have a strong self-identity and I didn't really realize it. So that's where all the pain was coming from. So when I started realizing that was the root cause of all these unstable emotions that I would feel and not feel uncomfortable in my own skin, then that's what led me all that pain to really do the work, to try to come back, to have a strong self-identity, to feel good no matter what was happening in my life, and to feel just grounded, centered.

[00:08:04] Renee Scotty: And know myself really well. 
[00:08:06] Mike DiZio: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You touched on that sense of loss. Like I know Frank just preoccupied. So much of the seven areas of life are tied into relationship. Like relationship is literally top of the list and like all the areas of the life. So you're sort of arranging your life.

[00:08:23] Mike DiZio: All around this other person. So once that's gone, it's almost like your, your identity's gone, or you almost feel lost, right? Yes. That would've been really scary each time that happened. 
[00:08:35] Renee Scotty: Yes. Yeah. 
[00:08:37] Mike DiZio: Yeah. Okay. But I know later on we're gonna talk about how you sort of overcame that and conquered that.

[00:08:42] Mike DiZio: Mm-hmm. And I'm looking forward to hearing that. Okay. So I know you've been a member of the personal development school for over two years now. Do you remember when you first heard about attachment theory? I know attachment theory now is like pretty, pretty big now in the last couple years, but did you hear about it a long time ago or was that something that you just heard of when you joined Personal development school?

[00:09:03] Renee Scotty: Yeah. You know, I had heard of it before, but it didn't, but it was never presented to me in the way that Tye presents it. Like she presents it as something that you can really heal and you can change your life when you learn how to heal these things, like the wounds that happened in childhood, she gives you a way out, like a, a stepping ladder to step out of your pain.

[00:09:22] Renee Scotty: And I had never seen it like that before, so I didn't really think there was anything you could do about it. I was like, oh yeah, I have this anxious. Preoccupied attachment. I'm just stuck with it forever as the impression that I had when I had seen work on it before. So when I saw her videos and started, started becoming a member of the school, then it gave me a lot of hope.

[00:09:42] Renee Scotty: So I was like, oh, wow, I can really heal these wounds and I can get better and I can feel more centered and grounded and have a better 

[00:09:49] Mike DiZio: life. Oh, that's really great. So you mentioned already you were anxious, preoccupied attachment style. What would you say is the hardest thing about being anxious, preoccupied when you were at your sort of most unhealed moment?

[00:10:05] Renee Scotty: Yeah, so she don't, I felt like I didn't really know myself, like everything was based on the outside and based on my partner, how my partner was feeling was the most important. I didn't really have my own like individual identity. I was always. Concerned on the outside and my partner. So, so, because you're dependent on the outside, you're never feeling like centered and dis comfortable.

[00:10:28] Renee Scotty: You're always like watching on the outside to see how things are, to see if that's okay, then maybe I can be okay if my partner's doing well. If everything's going well outside of me with friends, family, partner, then I can be okay. Otherwise then I, I don't feel okay. 

[00:10:43] Mike DiZio: Yeah. Wow, that's tough. So you're almost like, you know, ABA worried about abandonment, but then you're abandoning yourself in the process.
[00:10:50] Renee Scotty: Absolutely. That was the biggest thing I learned. Yeah. You're always abandoning yourself. 

[00:10:54] Mike DiZio: Right. Right. Okay. Thank you for sharing that. So we were saying, yeah, what the hardest parts are. How's attachment theory now that you've dove into it, you've done healing and you're more on the secure side of things.
[00:11:07] Mike DiZio: How have things sort of changed for you? Let's start with the inner, what, what changed on the inner, and then I'll ask you about on the outer with relationships and 

[00:11:14] Renee Scotty: whatnot. Okay, sure. Yeah. So the inner, it was amazing. I think the, the thing that made the biggest difference was me learning about myself, learning my own needs and what What makes me happy, my personality needs, so I did, did a deep dive into that.

[00:11:29] Renee Scotty: And at first I really did not like meeting my needs myself. Hmm. Like when I, I was just like, oh, this is not gonna work. I can't get, you know, my need met for physical affection. My, like, you know, wearing comfort socks and hugging myself like I just. It seemed crazy to me, right? But I kept on doing it. I kept on trying to find the things that would meet comfort needs and learn how to rely on myself to fill those buckets up for a lot of those needs for connection.

[00:11:54] Renee Scotty: And by connecting to myself, by journaling, as I started doing those things, over time it was, it kind of snuck up, snuck up on me. One day it seemed like, like I was doing it and doing it and doing it, you know, still hoping for things on the outside, but trying to really keep my attention inward. And then I just started feeling more and more comfortable by myself, and it was really amazing.

[00:12:14] Renee Scotty: I just felt so comfortable in my skin. So grounded, so centered, so focused. That was the biggest thing. Cause I do have D H D and I coach with a lot of people with d h, ADHD and my attention was always so scattered. And once I met those needs and started healing, I realized how focused my attention got. I could accomplish more things.

[00:12:32] Renee Scotty: I could sit down and concentrate so much better. It was really it was amazing. So it's the best I've ever felt was after doing all of that work, especially with the needs. Wow. In the, being kinder, you know, the kinder self-talk. Like instead of always being so hard on myself, I started talking to my, my inner voice being a lot kinder.

[00:12:51] Mike DiZio: Right. That's amazing. And I love how like, Yes, obviously, you know, we would want someone to be there and connect with someone to feel maybe his physical touch or feel affection or closeness or whatnot. But I like how you touched on there is ways to meet those needs or at least meet them halfway. Like there's no substitute probably for, you know, hugging, hugging someone you love and having somebody say these nice things to you, but, If that's your only source of getting those things, again, you're in a pretty sort of disadvantageous position cuz you're so worried about losing that.

[00:13:26] Mike DiZio: Right. At least if you have these sort of methods and tools, you can at least meet your needs halfway. And it's almost like, you know, you could, you could put a little bit of gas in your car. You're not just running on empty. So you, some of your needs, you have some gas in the car, you can kind of keep things going.

[00:13:41] Mike DiZio: And not be really distracted and, and, you know, worried about, oh, how am I gonna get these needs met? And I like how you sort of shared how it, it shifted. It wasn't at, at first you were like, probably this is, this is crazy. Like, you know, I can't do this on my own. This isn't, you know, natural. But it's really inspiring to hear that after a while there, there is a shift and.

[00:14:02] Mike DiZio: Yeah, you can sort of feel that love for yourself and give yourself what you need. Doesn't always have to be from the outside, 
[00:14:09] Renee Scotty: right? Yeah. That was the most amazing part. Like, you know, I always thought I did care about myself, but I did not have that deep self-love until I started, because you don't even know yourself.

[00:14:17] Renee Scotty: So, right, right. You know, how can you love what's there? You gotta really connect with it first, and then you can really have that deep love and Yeah. And the other person feels it too, like when you're already centered and you feel good, and it's not like you're trying to pull it from other people so you can feel good.
[00:14:33] Renee Scotty: They, they sense that. Right. So, yeah, there's a lot of, 

[00:14:36] Mike DiZio: a lot of pressure on the relationship, would you say, because yeah. You're sensing like a bit of panic or. You know? Yeah. You have to always worry that the other person's not feeling, feeling bad or maybe misinterpreting that they're gonna leave when really they're not gonna leave.

[00:14:51] Mike DiZio: Right. Yeah. Yeah. I imagine on both sides it can be challenging. 

[00:14:55] Renee Scotty: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So you're not, you're not always fearing that abandonment at a deep level like that anymore. 

[00:15:01] Mike DiZio: For sure. Yeah. That's great. And then as we, as I mentioned, just curious how your external relationships have now changed, whether it's friendships, families, Romantic relationships what's been the shift there?
[00:15:13] Mike DiZio: Yeah, 

[00:15:14] Renee Scotty: so the shift there is definitely not looking to the outside for someone to fulfill me because I feel like I already have that fulfillment. So it just makes things a lot easier. And like you said, when you're dating like the other person doesn't feel that pressure that you know they have to meet your needs.

[00:15:29] Renee Scotty: Like I'm not putting that on them anymore. Like I know that I can meet those myself, so I'm not seeking it so much on the outside. And same thing with friends, like if they show up, great, if they don't show up all the time or something comes up, I'm not dependent on that. So it's just a feeling of just it's ease and comfort really in life.

[00:15:46] Renee Scotty: Everything just became like a, a more easeful flow. That's 
[00:15:50] Mike DiZio: amazing. You mentioned the word dependent, like Yeah. If you are dependent. On someone else for those things. You know, let's say you're dating or whatnot, you're probably gonna put up with a lot more things Oh, yeah. Than you should, you know what I mean?

[00:16:04] Mike DiZio: Like, definitely. If you're more in a secure place, you know, if somebody did something that was really like, just outta line or not, you know, disrespecting you or whatever. But if you're, you know, super, super anxious and you just really need connection and it's, you're dependent on it. Then you'll probably let a lot more things slide and for a lot longer than you shift relationships.

[00:16:25] Renee Scotty: Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You put up with a lot more and now it's like, oh, if you can't meet these needs, then, you know, maybe you're not the right person and you feel you don't Yeah. You don't feel like you just have to make it work. Yeah. Like you, you know, latch onto someone and then no matter what's going on, you have to make it work.

[00:16:39] Renee Scotty: And I used to feel that way before, right? Once I got attracted to the person, I would be like, oh, well this is what I have to work with. Like, I didn't ever vet people, right? Right. Like, I didn't see if they were a fit for me. It was just like, okay, this is what I have to work with. I have to sacrifice and do what I need to do to get my needs met and to meet their needs.

[00:16:56] Renee Scotty: And so, yeah, that thought process is not. Even there at all anymore. Wow. 

[00:17:00] Mike DiZio: And I imagine, yeah, that would go for friendships and as well. Mm-hmm. Same thing. Yeah. New people that come into your life. You can be a lot more selective and be like, okay, is this person good for me overall? Do I feel good in their presence?

[00:17:12] Mike DiZio: How do they make me feel? Mm-hmm. And you don't just have to sort of, you know, let everybody come into your life and then have to sort of deal with Right. Some not so great 

[00:17:22] Renee Scotty: behavior. Yeah, that's so true. Even with friends too, like there was some, like as I was healing, some friendships that I realized were a little more one-sided, cuz I used to do a lot of people pleasing being an anxious, preoccupied.

[00:17:33] Renee Scotty: Yeah. And so, yeah, once I stopped that, I started realizing, yeah, some of these relationships are really not serving me anymore. And so I took a step back from all of those that weren't healthy and so to make room for more healthy relationships and that's felt really good. That's so 

[00:17:47] Mike DiZio: wonderful. I laughed cuz I used to be the people pleasing master and I would, I would always be like, just so sucked of energy and it's like, hmm, yes.

[00:17:57] Mike DiZio: Giving all the time. And even in the sense for me, one of my biggest needs is like emotional connection. So like, having deep, really deep, meaningful conversations is really like, perks me up and makes me happy and feel fulfilled. But I would have some people around me who were into just like sports or just like other topics that I had no interest in, but I was so concerned with them, like liking me that I would just talk about what they wanted to talk about all the time.

[00:18:26] Mike DiZio: Mm-hmm. I would wanna go places that they would want to go all the time. So I was using a lot of energy doing things that were not. In alignment with me and, and what I love and what makes me feel good. But it wasn't until sort of doing some work and dropping those people pleasing habits that now I just, you know, choose the things that make me feel good, do the things that make me feel good.

[00:18:47] Mike DiZio: Every once in a while you have to do stuff that maybe you don't love. But for the most part the people pleasing has gone out the window, which is good. And I'm glad yours has as well, cuz I know it can 

[00:18:57] Renee Scotty: be great. I can so relate to that too. Yeah, yeah. Just like it wastes so much energy and all these things that you know are not in alignment with you.
[00:19:05] Renee Scotty: I just wanted to 

[00:19:05] Thais Gibson: pop in here and let you know we are doing a seven day free trial to the All Access membership pass at p d s, which means you get access to literally everything inside of the school. And this includes the four live webinars I do with our students every single week. And on top of that, you get access to all of our different courses.

[00:19:22] Thais Gibson: We have over 55 different courses on relationships, communication, boundaries, emotional mastery, guilt and shame, learning your needs, so many different facets that are really important to master our lives and feel really good about our lives going forward. Unless, but not least, there's a daily community event.

[00:19:40] Thais Gibson: We have trained facilitators and coaches who are in there doing that work, showing up to support you on your journey every single day. Please join me on the other side. Come check it out, see if it's a bit for you. I'd love to see you there. Go ahead and sign up by clicking the link in the description box 
[00:19:53] Renee Scotty: below.

[00:19:54] Mike DiZio: So within Personal Development School, we mentioned you've been there for, for a couple years now, at least. You've done the integrated attachment theory training let's say in the school. What was like one of the biggest tools that sort of helped you wi within the school? 

[00:20:09] Renee Scotty: Yeah. Oh my gosh. There's so many tools that I love from the school.

[00:20:12] Renee Scotty: I love the I love the emotional processing tool for sure. That one's great. I mentioned the needs course was so value valuable for me to just get in tune with myself. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I, I use a lot of the tools. I like using the cost benefit. I love using that with clients too. I think it's a great thing to use with clients.
[00:20:30] Renee Scotty: And yeah, those are the main ones I would say. And then I just love doing all the exercises that Tice has laid out. Like a lot of the ones in emotional mastery are great. Right. Yeah, you 

[00:20:39] Mike DiZio: mentioned cost processing, sorry, somatic processing. Yeah. 
[00:20:43] Renee Scotty: Yeah, yeah, that's a big one for me too. Somatic processing really helped me get in tune with the body.

[00:20:46] Mike DiZio: Yeah, for sure. I was gonna mention it later, but I might as well mention it now, but I know somatic processing and a lot of body and inner sensation work. You do. And within the school, so twice a week, I know you're hosting the emotional resilience routine. Do you wanna touch on that? What, what's emotional resilience, routine and like if somebody were to come to that routine, what could they expect?

[00:21:11] Renee Scotty: Yes. Yeah. So I love that. So yeah, the emotional resilience routine is a routine that's just showing you how to balance your nervous system. So we wanna stay in a place well, we don't wanna, we wanna have the ability to get back to a place that's emotionally regulated and balanced. So it's normal for a nervous system sometimes to go into different states.

[00:21:31] Renee Scotty: We get dysregulated, we get into fight or flight, freeze or fall. But what we wanna do is build up the place where we've widened that. The window of tolerance, which is the place where you feel good, where your nervous system is balanced. We wanna widen that area so much that when you do get off balance, you have a pathway to get back on balance pretty quickly.

[00:21:49] Renee Scotty: So you don't wanna get stuck in those trauma states of fight flight freezer, fawn. We wanna have a way to get back out and get rebalanced so that we can mostly live from that state. So, and, and so I do a lot of tools a little bit of teaching and then and then we always do an experience. So how can you exponentially.

[00:22:07] Renee Scotty: Do these things and bring these, this kind of work into your life so that you can expand that window of tolerance, that place where you feel good, you feel in control. You can handle challenges. You feel like you wanna engage socially, you wanna be in that best place. And so the tools are to help you get back there and build that area so that you're able to get back there whenever you get dysregulated.
[00:22:28] Mike DiZio: I love that. And I love how the idea is not like, okay, if you.
 Meditate every day or do these tools every day, everything's gonna be perfect all the time, right? Nope. You know, life throws things at you, you know, you get cut off in traffic or your coworker says something you don't love. Whatever it may be.

[00:22:45] Mike DiZio: There's, there's always gonna be sort of things that come at you in life, but sort of expanding this window of tolerance makes it where you don't get so dysregulated or so triggered that you can't even really like, It's hard to really operate in that moment, and you might be, you know, upset or bothered by it all day.
[00:23:03] Mike DiZio: But if you can increase this window of tolerance, is the idea that you're just gonna have so much more emotional bandwidth or emo like clarity. Clarity to deal with situations that that are, you know, hard by nature. 

[00:23:16] Renee Scotty: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like a resetting of your, like your subconscious comfort zone too.

[00:23:22] Renee Scotty: And then you're start, you're gonna start to notice when you enter the dysregulation or feeling uncomfortable before it becomes like a bigger response, like more of a fight flight, freeze faw. When you get just a little outta balance, you're gonna notice it more quickly and be able to get back in balance.
[00:23:37] Renee Scotty: Once you have that, that window widened, you're gonna just be able to be able to be more in tune with yourself. 

[00:23:44] Mike DiZio: Right, right. Okay. That's wonderful. Okay. So I like to ask guests about sort of what they're doing on a micro level, sort of daily things that keep them in a good place in hopes of inspiring people out there to be like, wow, I want to try that, or, that would be a really good habit to do every day.

[00:24:02] Mike DiZio: So I just wanted to know, let's start with rituals. Like are there any sort of non-negotiable rituals that you do every day that keeps you in a really good place? 

[00:24:11] Renee Scotty: Yeah. Definitely. So my one non-negotiable that I do every day every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to bed is I always meditate and I do some prayers.

[00:24:22] Renee Scotty: So I do that first thing when I wake up and I do that last thing before I go to bed. And so those are the other things I, I vary, but those, but that's one thing that I always do and it makes me feel very, it's a great way to start the day. Makes me feel very 

[00:24:35] Mike DiZio: balanced. Yeah, that's great. And then I know a lot of in personal development worlds we hear the world's, the word self-care.
[00:24:43] Mike DiZio: Self-care is a big part. People say you need to do self-care. So I'm just curious, what does self-care look like for 

[00:24:50] Renee Scotty: Renee? Yeah, for me, it looks like knowing my needs, checking in with myself regularly, and really just knowing what my needs are and then honoring those needs. So that's been huge. That's been a big, big difference in my life.
[00:25:04] Renee Scotty: I never had any clue I even had any needs. 

[00:25:07] Mike DiZio: Yeah, that's unbelievable. Like from literally like from the time you woke up to the time you went to bed, you were literally like externally focused. Absolutely. Not ever once checking in to be like, how do I feel right now? What do I need right now? Right. Wow.

[00:25:22] Mike DiZio: That's, you can imagine that would be very That would be tough because our body's sending us signals all the time and trying to get our attention when we, when we need certain things. But if you're just ignoring that and being like, oh, be quiet body, like I gotta pay attention to what's going on out here, that's probably gonna cause some problems internally eventually.

[00:25:42] Renee Scotty: Right? Absolutely. And you know, it's interesting because even when I was living at the yoga center and doing the yoga and the meditation, there still wasn't. The awareness to check in all throughout the day. It was like, okay, when it's yoga time, I'm focused, I'm dropped in, I'm in a, a good, calm space, but I still would go back to the external, like when it was over and all day, be there until like I maybe meditated at night.

[00:26:05] Renee Scotty: So, yeah, I wasn't cha I wasn't shifting and changing all along the way and changing the subconscious comfort zone as much as I could have. Right. If I had been checking in all, you know, all day right. And been tuned with the body. The rest 

[00:26:18] Mike DiZio: of the day. What is it just through practice or what sort of prompts you now to check in with yourself?

[00:26:23] Mike DiZio: Is it just something you know to be doing fairly regularly or is there something that sort of prompts you to oh, I should stop what I'm doing and check in right now? What's sort of your method there? 

[00:26:34] Renee Scotty: Yeah. Actually now it's a, it's pretty automatic. But I mean, I learned that from Tye, from the needs course, right?

[00:26:41] Renee Scotty: From like, start checking in with yourself every few hours and noticing how you feel, noticing what you need, right? And so, yeah, now that's become more of a habit. And now I just notice kind of when my my feelings or my emotions change, I just, I just automatically take notice of them. And that kind how I feel in the body.

[00:26:58] Renee Scotty: Notice how I'm feeling that, and then just kind of ask myself like, what do you need right now? Right, 

[00:27:02] Mike DiZio: right. So kind of like a stop what you're doing moment. There's something to be looked at here. There's maybe a need that needs to be filled. Mm-hmm. Exactly. That's great. Okay. So we like to leave guests.

[00:27:15] Mike DiZio: We're, we're nearing the end of the podcast today, and thank you, Renee, for being here. You're welcome. Just a couple more questions for you. We'd love to leave guests with maybe like a tool or a tip or maybe a perspective. Is there something you wanna share with our audience of something that can help them lead, lead a more fulfilling life?

[00:27:33] Renee Scotty: Yeah. So I would say definitely if you're an anxious, preoccupied, start noticing how you feel and noticing that you have a needs. And you could just start by doing something simple, just noticing how you feel, like set a little alarm on your phone, maybe a few times a day to check in with yourself and be like, how do I feel right now?

[00:27:51] Renee Scotty: Is there something I need to feel better? Is there a different. Thought I could think to feel better. Like maybe something's, you know, maybe you're having an unhealthy thought you could just check in, like, what's the next best thought that I could have? That's one thing that I think would be really great.

[00:28:03] Renee Scotty: And also noticing your body, like when you have that feeling, just kind of checking like, where do I feel that in my body? And going within the body and noticing. So I think that's a great place to start, just getting in tune with yourself. Journaling is great. Just, yeah, putting your thoughts on paper so you know what you're thinking, feeling, just getting to know yourself.
[00:28:22] Renee Scotty: Wow. 

[00:28:23] Mike DiZio: That's really great. I love that. How many times have you checked in with yourself during this interview? Is it time for 
[00:28:30] Renee Scotty: a check-in? Only once. Only once. Ok, that's good. I usually do it. I usually would say I do it like three, four times a day. Like I Okay. I just kind of noticed like during the day. Yeah.

[00:28:43] Renee Scotty: But I'm, I've been kind of in flow, not really feeling anything off as we've been talking, so it's been kind of fun. Perfect. Perfect. 
[00:28:50] Mike DiZio: I have that effect on people. 
[00:28:52] Renee Scotty: Yes, you do, Mike. 

[00:28:55] Mike DiZio: Okay. So just to give some sort of inspiration or some hope I was hoping if you could share, if there's someone out there who maybe just did the test or they know that they're anxious, preoccupied, and they're like, this is too much.

[00:29:08] Mike DiZio: Like there's no hope here. This is way too, way too big of a thing to tackle. What would you say to them, sort of what's on the other side of going into your sort of own healing journey and working on these things that need to be worked on? I. What can maybe they look forward to? 

[00:29:25] Renee Scotty: They can look forward to feeling a lot better for sure if they do the work.

[00:29:30] Renee Scotty: And just start getting to know themselves and being comfortable with themselves. Your whole life will shift and change and you'll feel amazing like now. I used to never be able to be by myself. I can. I spend a lot of time alone. I really enjoy. Enjoy it. It's just so peaceful and relaxing, and they can expect a big shift.

[00:29:48] Renee Scotty: I really, I really believe that with all my heart, that they could, their whole life will be better and improved and they'll feel comfortable in their skin. They'll feel grounded. They'll know what they need. They're gonna interact with everyone differently, and it's, it's just a great space to be in. Yeah.

[00:30:03] Mike DiZio: Wow. That's, that's lovely. Definitely. I'm so happy for you. 
[00:30:06] Renee Scotty: Thanks. And I think everybody can do it. I was pretty, I was pretty extreme on the AP side, so I feel like if I can do that, that anyone that's an AP can do 

[00:30:14] Mike DiZio: that. Right, right. Okay. Awesome. So just wanna know, like, what services are you offering these days?

[00:30:22] Mike DiZio: If somebody wanted to work with you or contact you, what, what sort of services are you offering at the moment? 

[00:30:28] Renee Scotty: Yeah, I'm doing integrated attachment theory coaching. I have worked with a lot of people with D H D as well but just even just the integrated attachment theory of coaching is on my website so they could reach me there.
[00:30:41] Renee Scotty: I love all the tools. In p ds, we put together a program. I usually start with like a, a 12 week program, but we could do individual sessions as well. 

[00:30:50] Mike DiZio: That's great. And then how can people get in touch with you if they wanted to work with you on one-on-one coaching or any other method? What's the best way to reach you?

[00:31:00] Renee Scotty: The best way to reach me, I, I can, I'll give my email and the, the website is living Your Best Life, 11 WIC site, w I x s i t e.com. And so yeah, living your best life. 11 wic site.com and then my email is Renee 3 33 Gmail. No, I'm sorry, excuse me. Renee 3 33 sessions with an s gmail.com. 
[00:31:28] Mike DiZio: Perfect.

[00:31:29] Mike DiZio: And we'll put all those in the show notes if anybody wants to reach out to Renee. Also just to let everybody know if you wanna see more of Renee, as we mentioned, she teaches the emotional resilience routine twice a week Mondays and Thursdays. She's also at. Every p d s live webinar there's three a week and she also hosts a few of the webinar after socials.

[00:31:51] Mike DiZio: So within p d s we have a really great community where we after the live webinars, we meet up and people can share, they can support each other. They can share what they learned in the webinar that day or just sort of process anything they're going through at the moment. But it's really great.

[00:32:06] Mike DiZio: We have all different attachment styles healing together and. You can connect with like-minded people. So yeah, definitely if you want to try personal development school out, we have a seven day free trial at the moment. If you could try out Renee's routines and come see all the other beautiful stuff happening within the school.

[00:32:25] Mike DiZio: Okay. Is there anything else? Did we, we covered quite a bit today, didn't we? 

[00:32:29] Renee Scotty: Yeah, I think so. No, it's great. It's a great, p d s is a great community for support when you're going through something too. The post webinars, you can connect with people, so yeah, you should definitely give it a try. We'd love to see you.

[00:32:41] Mike DiZio: Awesome. Okay, Renee, thanks so much for your time. Really appreciate it. I know I'll be seeing you very soon and yeah. Enjoy the rest of your your day.