00:00:10:25 - 00:00:33:16
Thais
Hello and welcome to the Personal Development School Podcast. I'm your host, Thais Gibson, and I create regular podcast episodes to teach you about your relationships, attachment style and the subconscious mind. My goal of this podcast is to give you tools and awareness you need to thrive in your relationships, feel deeply connected, and find harmony and fulfillment in your relationships and personal life.

00:00:33:27 - 00:00:38:24
Thais
So I hope you tune in here with me each and every week.

00:00:43:22 - 00:01:10:02
Thais
I want to talk to you about three root causes of depression, of feelings, of sadness. What we can do about these things and how this all relates to today. So today is actually called blue Monday. So Blue Monday is known to be the saddest day of the year due to a combination of long nights, shorter days, bad weather for a lot of different places in the world.

00:01:10:02 - 00:01:33:10
Thais
And then just like the aftermath of the holidays, that people spending a lot of money. All these different sorts of things. So if you are feeling this way to know that it's okay and this is a normal experience to feel for many, many people worldwide throughout this time of year or this day of year, specifically. And it's also important to know that there are things that you can do to help improve your situation right now.

00:01:33:14 - 00:01:54:26
Thais
I'm a big believer in nature plus nurture. I really believe that we have certain genetic predispositions towards things, but I also believe in epigenetics, and I also believe that those genetic predispositions get triggered or activated by our own relationship to our environment, by our habits, by our patterns. And I think that we can have a really profound impact on our own lives by our habits or behaviors and how we choose to show up.

00:01:55:09 - 00:02:12:08
Thais
So I'm going to give you some tools. So through the major root causes to our emotional one is, I think, more health oriented. And I really think the I'll just touch on the third one really quickly. I think our gut health plays a major, major role in our serotonin uptake. And so having good gut health is extremely important.

00:02:12:17 - 00:02:34:29
Thais
This is probably my area of expertise because I'm recently over the last like four or five years and so much research on this area, but it's not my area of education, so I'm not going to go into it too much. But at a high level, like having a really strong gut wall, taking supplements like I'll glutamine, taking probiotics, making sure that you have a healthy balance of your microbiome is really important or good bacteria in your microbiome.

00:02:35:10 - 00:02:55:29
Thais
I'm not going to go into that too much. I highly recommend that if you are interested in this stuff, you check out some some channels of like functional medicine doctors. I can put a couple of links in here and we also have a course or another course that like sort of like a podcast inside PDFs. It's about an hour and a half long, but I do with a functional medicine doctor, all of it all about gut health, where I interview.

00:02:56:10 - 00:03:12:14
Thais
And so you can always check that all out. But just keep in mind the reason I'm adding this in here and the value I think it adds is just to know that, like sometimes if we're eating a bunch of junk food or a bunch of unhealthy foods over the holidays, this can disrupt our gut microbiome and this can actually cause us to not feel as good.

00:03:12:14 - 00:03:41:05
Thais
And it can just take a little bit of time to recover and sort of get back into balance after like Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's and all the different things that may be going on. So that's just a high level. Now, the two emotional things where I can tell you a lot of the nitty gritty details and give you really powerful tools is the two other things that tend to cause depression are chronically unmet needs or feelings of sadness, chronically unmet needs, and number two, painful beliefs or thought patterns.

00:03:41:16 - 00:04:04:03
Thais
So I often say like pain is when we have unmet needs and suffering is the meaning we give to our needs not being met. So think of it this way. It's like I can have an unmet need for someone connection. Maybe. I've just been around people for the holidays, let's just say in theory, right? I've been around all these people for the holidays and now I'm back on lockdown and isolated and can't see people that like juxtaposition is going to cause me to really hurt over those unmet needs.

00:04:04:03 - 00:04:30:22
Thais
Like, oh my gosh, unmet needs for someone connection. And it's probably like physical touch, like hugging people and being around people and emotional connection and sharing and talking and, you know, all these really beautiful things that we need as human beings and that we're wired for. And so let's say we go through that withdraw withdrawal sort of feeling and then let's say I don't recognize that my pain that I'm feeling is because of unmet needs.

00:04:30:22 - 00:04:49:00
Thais
And so my subconscious mind seeks certainty. And when it does is it usually gives meaning to a situation which then causes suffering. And you'll see it because this is the type of thing that our mind does. It goes, I feel lonely. I feel alone, I feel isolated, I feel good. And it must be because I'm not worthy enough to have people around who care about me.

00:04:49:00 - 00:05:09:23
Thais
It must be because I don't matter to other people. I'm not that important. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm. I'm going to have this situation, my life go on for the rest of my life. And it's like the mind wants to tell stories. It wants to give meaning because it's strategy to gain certainty and to know We go into the situation where all of a sudden it's like, Ouch, now we have suffering.

00:05:09:23 - 00:05:29:02
Thais
Because think of how you feel when you truly believe those things. And whenever we have thoughts pass on autopilot that comes from the subconscious mind, we automatically bind to those thoughts as if they're the truth. We are literally emoting as if we're living in that reality at the time. And so when you have these passing thoughts, they have an impact on your emotions.

00:05:29:02 - 00:05:51:26
Thais
And when we think roughly 60 to 70000 thoughts per day, which we know based on a study that came out of the University of Southern California's Neuroimaging Institute, we have a ton of those thoughts that are triggered by painful core beliefs or painful patterns. And we're giving people meaning to our unmet needs. So now we have pain and suffering, and the more chronic this is, the more habitual this is, the more we're going to feel stuck in this situation.

00:05:52:08 - 00:06:25:19
Thais
So it's really important for us to be able to become aware consciously of our unmet needs and to ask ourselves like what feels missing in our life right now and what are some strata GS I can use to close the gap around these needs? A huge one for isolation or for a lack of feeling, love and connection. Being activated in our lives is we're feeling isolated or a lack of love and connection To close that gap by being more vulnerable, by actively seeking out more vulnerable conversations with people over Zoom, or do whatever you can to, like, close that gap emotionally, give people hugs, whatever it is that you can do to close that gap

00:06:25:19 - 00:06:44:02
Thais
intentionally and to build new habits in that area, to have more vulnerable zone conversations, to open up more, to ask deeper questions like, you know, the mind will feel that it doesn't have to get its needs met in one form to feel fulfilled. So if you're used to being a person and then you're all of a sudden on a lockdown, you can find a way outside of that to get your needs met.

00:06:44:02 - 00:07:09:23
Thais
You can close the gap, like through all these different ways that we're talking about. I've seen people in long distance relationships, for example, Close the gap by having dates over Zoom and cooking dinner of the same food and opening the same bottle of wine and hanging out that way. And of course, it's not quite the same. But if you're in a long distance relationship, it's just out of your hands, then that's a good strategy to at least fill the gap three quarters of the way instead of the entire way.

00:07:09:23 - 00:07:28:26
Thais
Right? So you can see like how we can close that gap and it makes us feel more empowered. And then when we come to the meeting, Oscar's awkward What stories we tell about myself on a regular basis, but meaning, do I get to situations when they don't go my way? Are there patterns there? And if so, how would I like to cognitively reframe those patterns?

00:07:29:08 - 00:07:50:10
Thais
And this would be a really powerful thing to help you just get out of that cycle of thinking on autopilot, feeling on autopilot, having the neurochemistry that follows because emotions are made up of neurochemical ills. And so if you're having this situation, your your neurochemistry is being affected by the way you think and believe and and feel. And so these are really important things to become aware of.

00:07:50:10 - 00:08:13:17
Thais
And if you want to do a much deeper dive into this, we have a really in depth course all about overcoming feelings of depression, sadness and something called trauma thoughts, which are these extensive thoughts that we have as a result of past imprinted traumas in the subconscious mind that we haven't resolved super powerful course. We hear like amazing things and results from students and we'll give you really in depth the reprograming tools and help you become really clear about your needs.

00:08:13:17 - 00:08:33:01
Thais
So I hope this is helpful resource. I hope this all makes sense. I just want to jump in here and let you know that we are doing a 14 day free trial, which means you get access to the personal development school and everything we have going on on the other side for free for 14 days. That means you get access to the four live webinars I do every single week.

00:08:33:01 - 00:09:01:13
Thais
You can come in, you can ask me questions with your camera on, we can chat, you can leave your camera off if you prefer, or type your questions in the chat. There's lots of opportunity to get your questions answered and on top of that you get access to all of our different courses. We have over 55 different courses on relationships, communication boundaries, emotional mastery, guilt and shame, learning your needs, so many different facets that are really important to master our lives and feel really good about our lives going forward.

00:09:01:23 - 00:09:20:29
Thais
And last but not least, there's also community elements in there. So there's a daily community event, whether it's practicing communication or doing a guided morning routine or a guided reprograming exercise. We have trained facilitators and coaches who are in there doing that work, showing up to support you on your journey every single day. So I would love to see you on the other side.

00:09:20:29 - 00:09:39:14
Thais
There's lots of exciting stuff in there and we have had a 99.7% NPS score, which means we have literally that many people who report being really successful apprize and wanting to recommend us to others. And it was all done anonymously. So I felt really honored that everybody shared that. So thank you to those who did. But yeah, please join me on the other side.

00:09:39:14 - 00:09:43:28
Thais
Come check it out, see if it's a book for you. I'd love to see you there.