00:00:00:02 - 00:00:35:16
Thais Gibson
So let's talk about the .dismissive avoidant's ideal partner in a relationship. And we're going to talk about this through the lens of the needs. Now, if you're not familiar with what a dismissive avoidant attachment style is dismissive of, once are essentially the partner in relationships who tend to be emotionally unavailable. And part of this comes from the fact that usually there wasn't a lot of emotional availability in the household growing up, and whether there was this overt neglect or if it was just sort of subtle neglect specifically of the emotions and having features in the conditioning of a child where it's like the child is taught that, you know, if they're expressing emotion too much,

00:00:35:16 - 00:00:54:06
Thais Gibson
they're too sensitive, they're weak, they're shameful, something's wrong with them. Is their emotional you know, if they get a lot of that programing and conditioning, then they're more likely in their adult lives to be somebody who is avoidant, who doesn't want to emotionally bond with other people because they've been taught that it's unsafe. And it's shameful that it's not okay to express your emotions and share them with others.

00:00:54:14 - 00:01:11:13
Thais Gibson
So we'll usually see that manifest as somebody in their adult lives, kind of like pushing people away, wanting to keep people at arm's length. So if you think that you might be this way, I want to talk to you about like who the ideal person is to date. But there's also a really important part of this where it's important to do your own healing, do your own inner work.

00:01:11:21 - 00:01:34:02
Thais Gibson
If you do have a dismissive, avoidant attachment style, you can think of your needs as the components of a relationship that allows the relationship to sustain itself. So just like the body has specific needs, it has to get met to ensure survival, so does a relationship. If specific needs are not being met between two partners in a relationship, then it's like taking the lifeblood out of a relationship.

00:01:34:02 - 00:02:02:24
Thais Gibson
It really causes the relationship to die off. So when we talk about the needs that are dismissible, one has the biggest needs. First and foremost, our days tend to really value their autonomy, their independence and their freedom. By the way, all of these things are developed through integrated attachment theory, which is a body of work I published back in 2019 that actually overlaps each attachment cell with their individual core wounds, their needs, and a whole bunch of their other patterns include boundaries, emotional patterns, communication patterns, and so on.

00:02:02:24 - 00:02:22:23
Thais Gibson
So when we look here, we'll see dismissible ones. They tend to really value their autonomy, their independence, their freedom, because that's how they learn to soothe growing up. So they learn to self-soothe through literally taking time and space away from other people who are shaming them for having emotions, who are giving them a hard time, who are criticizing them, who are rejecting their emotions.

00:02:23:04 - 00:02:38:17
Thais Gibson
Then they learn, okay, if I take time and space to myself, I can kind of just do my own thing and soothe and feel free and have some relief from that feeling of discomfort when I'm feeling my emotions in the presence of others. And I know it doesn't lead to good outcomes. Another really important thing is .dismissive avoidants.

00:02:38:17 - 00:03:01:15
Thais Gibson
Want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. It's actually quite difficult for dismiss a witness to really be in a relationship longer term because they tend to want to invest in somebody, but it's like the antithesis of their personality. Like everything in them has been taught to shut down, to hide, to not let themselves really be seen, to fear, you know, this deep, vulnerable emotional connection, because they were taught that that part of themselves is bad or unacceptable.

00:03:01:23 - 00:03:22:00
Thais Gibson
And so them showing up and trying to be vulnerable and trying to have discussions and make commitments is really tough on them. And small appreciations or acknowledgment for things goes a really long way. Again, this is not me saying like, you know, don't take accountability as a day for having this style and do that work. Of course, it's a huge part of healing and relationship success.

00:03:22:00 - 00:03:44:01
Thais Gibson
But you know, these are the things that do you tend to look for in the ideal partner? They're looking for somebody who will meet these needs. They tend to also really want to feel understood, accepted and supported. Acceptance and support are huge for dismiss of avoidance because growing up they usually felt a massive lack of these things. They felt like what they were or who they were was not acceptable, especially that emotional or vulnerable part.

00:03:44:10 - 00:04:02:01
Thais Gibson
And they tended to feel really unsupported, like when they would need something or they had strong emotions and needed to rely on someone or receive care. It felt like there was usually a just, you know, a form of that met with neglect. And so receiving support is this like really deep need that dismissive of witness tend to have as well as acceptance.

00:04:03:00 - 00:04:26:10
Thais Gibson
Then in relationships they tend to look for somebody who values harmony and peace and they really like having their time to decompress. So we'll see .dismissive avoidants where they look for harmonious relationships, and that's relationships that are really roller coaster or volatile can cause a dismissal when to feel really shut off and can cause them to have a hard time investing in the relationship because they feel this sense of like, Ouch, this relationship hurts.

00:04:26:10 - 00:04:47:23
Thais Gibson
It's hard on me. It's difficult to open up. So see these really important components. By the way, as I'm talking about this, if you hear some of these things within yourself or, you know, these things are something that your partner or a loved one struggles with and you want to better understand them, We have a whole dismissive, avoidant attachment cell reprograming course, and we guarantee a breakthrough at the end of every single course.

00:04:47:23 - 00:05:16:09
Thais Gibson
Like in whatever the topic is, we guarantee like a major, major breakthrough or we have a full money back guarantee at any time because of the fact that, you know, this content really works and it really targets the subconscious mind to gain these big insights. And when you talk about some of these different dynamics when it comes to harmony, peace and time to decompress, they're really looking for somebody in a relationship who wants to keep things simple, you know, wants to not have big conflicts.

00:05:16:09 - 00:05:39:21
Thais Gibson
So those are really important things. And then last but not least, dismissive ones really care about a sense of certainty and stability and safety. They can be quite adverse to change because they're they're usually chronically a little bit out of feeling balance and regulated. And so they kind of chronically feel this low level stress or anxiety. So anything that causes more stress or more instability or uncertainty can be very disruptive or dismissive avoidant.

00:05:39:24 - 00:05:54:06
Thais Gibson
So these are the things that they're looking for in terms of their needs in terms of their, you know, partners and who will meet certain needs. And these tend to go a very, very long way for this style. So your new to this channel, I put out daily content on YouTube that really touches on a whole bunch of stuff at a high level.

00:05:54:12 - 00:06:10:21
Thais Gibson
I know it feels kind of deep when we dig into it, but if you want like really deep transformation again, like the courses have a lot more sort of juice in them and can really dig into things and get you like deep, deep insights and really create these shifts in a fast period of time because of the level of depth and the insight.

00:06:11:00 - 00:06:25:14
Thais Gibson
So anyways, you can check those out for free. If you've been thinking about joining and checking things out. And I hope this video really shed some light on the avoidant partner and the things that they're looking for in their partner. And thank you for stopping by and for watching.